100. You can suck a bullet out of a wound.
99. Steve Martin was at his best in the 70's and 80's.
98. comedies in black and white can be funny.
97. If your a detective you might have to dress up in drag for a case.
96. A mickey takes an awful long time to operate, and one has time to shave one's tongue while it does.
95. Cleaning one's handgun with soap and water is not so far fetched.
94. Being locked in a car trunk for 5 hours does not mean one can't go to the bathroom.
93. Rachel Ward was the cat's meow in the early 80's.
92. All dames are alike: they reach down your throat and they can grab your heart, pull it out and they throw it on the floor, step on it with their high heels, spit on it, shove it in the oven and cook the *beep* out of it. Then they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and serve it to you and then expect you to say, "Thanks, honey, it was delicious."
skyjude - movie legends
http://skyjude.users.btopenworld.com
91. Toasting stale bread makes it edible again.
share90. Having a dame faint on you can knock her breasts out of whack.
share89. Eggs and a whole bag of ground coffee makes a mean cup of java.
88. Never trust a butler who will not keep you from fainting.
"All year long you have been calling him Bob, his name's not Bob, it's Bob, "Bo." ,"Bo"!
87. The odds of being shot in the same spot on you body on multiple occasions aren't as high as you might think.
Mmm... sacrilicious...
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76. That Zeno's Paradox applies to bags of coffee.
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74. How to dial.
share73. The appropriate use for that awful blond wig from Double Indemnity.
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72. Two bullets in one wound will never heal.
"Hey, I should be mad at YOU . . . now turn around."-Bender/Futurama
71. Smart can get you killed. (Just ask Abraham Lincoln.)
70. You can buy a lot of booze with $5.
69. Juliet's sister has a lot to learn about phone courtesy.
68. If a hotel takes too many bad checks, it'll bounce all the way across town.
67. Even hired thugs posing as exterminators can't resist cookies.
66. Rigby doesn't fire as many warning shots as he used to.
65. Marlowe apparently enjoys doing cross-stitch... when he's not busy checking peoples' backs for fingerprints.
"You think you can come in here and get soup? Please. You're wasting everyone's time."
64. Terre Huate, IN doesn't have a public library.
63. Cheese making is a science.
62. Girls learn interesting things at camp.
61. Bullets don't kill detectives, love kills detectives.
60. Beer, despite what you may think you know, is apparently non-alcoholic.
59. La newspapers were obsessed about the Dodgers, even though they didn't arrive from Brooklyn until 1958.
58. The year of the rat was 1936.
57. Thank goodness for tuberculosis.
56. Getting slipped a mickey makes one bark like a dog.
55. Dead clients don't pay their bills.
54. Smoked turkey keeps for months.
53. Never ask a woman for a favor when just got done strangling her.
52. Dogs are suppose to soften a man up.
51. It's ok to punch a woman, as long as you tell her someone else did it.
50. Puppies' poop comes out "soft and steamy."
49. Secretaries LOVE puppies!
48. Secretaries are mildly repulsed by surprise gifts of puppy *beep* in a sack.
"Only a fool would say that." --STEELY DAN
47. State Prison guards like watching two women kiss.
46. Never ask James Cagney to let you have some air.
45. That you have to marry the woman before you start the whoopie machine.
44. That Carlotta was infested by Germermens.
43. Parrots love shots of Jack Daniels.
42. Crlos Rodriguez is really into the love and maintainence of pajamas (pronounced: pay-yam-as).
41. Musicals at leper colonies probably never existed before Saint Betty came along.
40. Sometimes the dame in your office can hear what you're saying in your voiceover.
39. Waiter, there's a brooch in my soup!
38. It's easier to get a toilet seat cover stuck to your shoe than you might think.
37. When a dame with bedroom eyes says she has to "think it over", you're in!
36. For a good time, call the New York Times, x20, and ask for "Hot Legs".
35. The words "I can't" ARE in her vocabulary.
34. The ladies love the shadow puppets (and apparently, Abraham Lincoln references).
33. Women have already heard the tired old pickup line about how their lips look like Brussels sprouts.
32. Certain Peruvians really dislike having their spelling corrected.
31. Deciding who gets to provide the exposition of the evil plan can be a bit tricky.
30. Carlotta's the kind of a town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L.
29. Kitty Collins doesn't sweat as much as the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
28. Rigby won't be needing his pajamas anymore.
"Are my eyes really brown?"
27. No matter how catchy that Barbasol jingle is, tongue-shaving will probably never catch on.
26. When showing a woman something with your hands, your hands may get tired. If so, it's perfectly okay to resort to the use of decoy ducks.
25. Carlos Rodriguez may have joined the Establishment, but he still apparently knew about the Crips long before they ever met the Bloods in South-Central.
24. Six bullets probably ARE enough to stop nine Nazis.
23. Terre Haute is the most expendable place in America.
You can blow out a candle
But you can't blow out a fire
22. Private investigators will work for $10 a day plus expenses.
21. Cheese can be made into weapons of mass destruction.
20. Sucking bullets out of wounds makes them come out backwards.
19. Terre Haute Indiana is vulnerable to cheese weapons.
18. Steve Martin is good at coin rolling and gun flipping.
17. You can't get Kirk Douglass' hired goons to turn on him.
16. Charles Laughton does not like anything with alcohol, but will drink beer.
15. No one is quite sure which main character should reveal the solution to the mystery.
14. Wait until the person who tried to kill you with a pillow is surrounded by fireworks before you kill him.
13. Women's vocabulary can grow slightly in your absence.
12. Sweating is apparently not an indicator of how dangerous people are in Peru.
11. $10,000 is not enough to get people to leave stinking towns.
10. Only Marlowe knows what "Dead men don't wear plaid" means.
9. When a woman insists on dressing your bloody knees with iodine you are justified in pulling a gun on her.
8. You must first get married before starting the whoopee machine.
7. Rigby gave up stale bread for Lent.
THE RAP CRITIC
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic
6. Rigbys price to leave town is $11,500 and a kiss on the lips from Carmen Miranda
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5. Willies can get out of whack, too.
share4. Keep a clip-on tie handy, in case Marlowe shows up without his tie, again.
(and a happy 91st birthday to Carl Reiner)
3. Sticking your finger in someone's bullet hole will kill the mood.
Hey Whitey! Where's your hat?
2. A nude scene with Juliette is a possibility!
Hey Whitey! Where's your hat?
1. Dead men don't wear plaid.
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Too bad you didn't learn to spell men.
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