Respect for Elders

I hear you. The same thing happens to me every weekend. I take my 80ish grandmother out to lunch every Saturday afternoon. Lately, she always wants to go to some fast food place (she's obsessed with Arby's and Wendy's for some reason). Anyway, it takes her a while to order (well, it actually takes her a little while to make up her mind on what she wants to eat). The cashiers (most of them teens) always glare at her and sometimes roll their eyes. I am always floored and disgusted when this happens. Like you, I always want to say something but I don't want to put my grandmother on the spot (like your grandfather, she never notices but I'm sure she'd be embarrassed if I started screaming my head off).



"FRA-GEE-LAY. That must be Italian!"
"I think that says 'fragile', honey."

Happened to my aunt too. She is in her late 70's and I took her out to eat last week at Red Lobster. The restaurant was not crowded or busy, yet she could not seem to catch the eye of a server to ask for more tea. She repeatedly held up her glass and signaled, but they ignored her. Finally I yelled "Hey!" and the server came over to our table. My aunt was furious at me for being so rude, but she did get her tea!

Actually, out of pure ignorance, I was short with my elders, because they were so dominant in my life. I couldn't understand why old people were the way they were. I was always taught to show respect for the elderly and to be seen not heard. I always swore I was not going to be as annoying as an older person.

BAM, 40 years later and now I get the same amount of disrespect as I think I gave out.

Now I realize that my dad did a fantastic job raising my younger brother and I as an elderly widower.

I am lonely and have virtually no one around. One special friend on mine (age 25 years old) and his 19 year old bride with thier baby gets very irked at younger people that treat me rude, when they take me to dinner. He says that it is his right to treat me bad. He is just joking with me. He will tell these people that they will someday be old and that they will get back what they give out.

After all is said and done, we will all experience prejudism, even if your white. You will experience age-ism.

First of all, if your grandfather is still alive, God love him.

The lack of respect always bothered me. Yeah, the kid was probably trying to be "funny" and if Norman had more of a sense of humor, it probably would've been okay in the sense of the movie.

My parents ALWAYS taught me to respect my elders, particularly ones over 70 for two reasons. 1) They have a great deal of knowledge and life experience that you can learn from and 2) someday--God willing--I may be that old and when that day comes I would like the respect I gave to elders when I was younger.

I love old ladies because I will be one someday too (is 49 old?).

The culture does not incorporate the elderly into the social life of the family. In my culture, senior citizens live in the family home with one of the children and the grandchildren share the responsibility for taking care and aiding these members. It is only when the grandparent becomes truly bed-ridden and unable for the family to take care of them that they might be moved to a nursing or assisted living facility. My paternal grandfather lived and raised me from the time I was 4 till I graduated college and moved out. In my community, if one did not take care of one's parents when they become elderly, it would be a sign of disrespect for them and oneself as well as the community in which we are socialized. It's not easy, but it is the right thing to do.

-- If Ewan McGregor were a lollipop I'd be a diabetic strumpet --

Personally, I'm tired of people demanding respect simply because they're old. I say everybody should respect everybody, regardless of their age.

I've worked in retail since I was 14 years old...I started in my school's cafeteria and went on to become a manager at a grocery store. In my field, you have to respect everyone, from the 90-year-old, to the 2-year-old, to the fattest person you've ever seen riding in an electric wheel chair. Not because of their age or their condition, but because they're people!

When I'm not on the clock, I've come to show a bit of disrespect to others, but only after they've shown disrespect to me. If the 80-year-old in in the parking lot gives me a dirty look because of the shirt I'm wearing, then I'm more than inclined to give her the same dirty look back!

I do think it's terrible how disrespectful teenagers can be towards everyone (the elders, their parents, and their classmates). But I think it's just as terrible how the elders and adults show disrespect to children just because they're younger. Kids aren't stupid!

I have worked in a nursing home. Like in any other part of society, there is no such thing as a a "universal" or "typical" elderly person (traits and temperment). There are some that are nice and you can get along with just fine. There are some that you cant please no matter what you do. But think about it, this isnt much different than anyone else in life.
Part of the problem comes from aging itself. As the body slows downand variouis sences begin to fail, life becomes more challanging and more frustrating. It becomes more difficult to adapt to and meet these challanges and losses. These people may need to rely more on others for assistance, while those who "could" be helping, are not helping or are making things MORE difficult. Asi stated in anotgher post, many times these elderly people are yelling at life itself a lot more than they are yelling at anyone in particular.
This doesnt sound like the case of many of the people who have commented on this post. YES there seems to be a disrespect for people as they age and often the older one gets, the worse it gets. Its at though these older people are responsible for every problem that exists in the world. These attitudes just make the worlds problems bigger.
The main thing is that nobody fully understands what it is like as you "grow up" and grow older. The younger people say, I'm NOT going to "be like that" when I grow older but in reality they may end up the same way and thinking and actinng they same way. Nobody can "project" into the future and know what changes it will bring as well as what challanges it will bring or how we will react.
The sad trutgh is that too many young people are not brought up to respect anyone or anything. many dont respect themselves. What is MORE sad is that people who are hired into "service" industries and jobs, seem to be one that totally lack the skills necessary to deal with other people. THAT is the REAL issue I see in the comments here.

Always remember...Karma. What comes around, goes around. One day those rude youngsters will be up here with us. And the light will dawn, if they are smart enough to see it.