Things I learned watching OnGoldenPond

If you're driving up to visit Norman and Ethel, remember the make of your rental car

If Norman yells at you, he's only being "an old lion seeing if he can still roar."

If Norman has a heart attack, consult a directory book for a nearby hospital, because the operator is slow and the numbers 911 aren't legitimate

If you go fishing on the pond, there are only trout and sunfish

If your rental car breaks down often, it's probably a Nash

If you keep forgetting that skinny dipping alone is no fun, remember the grave lesson of shining light on your naked father

If you got to jump off the dock, do the back flip because it's the easiest

If you're seeking an employment opportunity, Ethel makes sure strawberry picking pays handsomely

If Norman hears the warbling of loons, it means he's at peace with himself

If your daughter's boyfriend's a dentist, the filling costs $40

If you're nearing 80, a lesbian is nevertheless likely to have a life that's fuller than yours like Miss Appleby

If Norman doesn't like riding horses, it's because he's Ethel's "knight in shining armor."

If you're trying to renew the bond with your father, you'd dive into the pond and swim to him with clothes on

If you got married in Brussels, it's still legitimate in America

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