MovieChat Forums > Mommie Dearest (1981) Discussion > Did anybody have a mother like Joan Craw...

Did anybody have a mother like Joan Crawford?

posted 12 years ago by DrinkFromTheSameFountain
52 replies | jump to latest

I mean as far as the disturbed/obssessive personality goes? In some ways, I definitely did. My mother was a controlling, needy, demanding, every-thing-must-be-perfect or life cannot go on type of woman who was never in touch with her own feelings. She was not physically abusive like Joan was and I don't think my mother was drunk a day in her life, but there were definitely similarities in other ways.

I no longer harbor resentment towards her because she was a victim of terrible parenting herself, never got over it, never developed as a human being. And I think there was something of this in Crawford. And I wanted to know if anybody here had this kind of a robot/out-of-touch/perfection-crazed mother. I get kind of tired of hearing people talking about the sanctity of motherhood.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] captinska_1999 11 years ago

I had the same type of mothering as well. My mother was more of a bipolar type. She is elderly now and time has calmed her down. The rose garden scene hit home as well as other scenes. I can't tell you how shocked I was when I grew up and found out this behavior is not normal.

[–] creatorof2002 11 years ago

I would not even visit my own mother one last time to say my goodbyes as she was dying of cancer. Need I say more?

[–] seakicreativeservice-934-96321 9 years ago

I haven't talked to mine in over a year, the last time I saw her, it was after a 17 year absence..........I don't plan on seeing her again in this lifetime.

[–] belaglik 10 years ago

I began to suspect that my mother was bipolar about a year before she died. I was talking to a friend of mine whose mother had been diagnosed and I asked her "what's bipolar?" She described it to me and that fit my mother perfectly. When I called her, I never knew who was going to answer the phone: a rational person I could have a conversation with or a raging harridan. I could usually tell by her tone of voice whether I needed to cut the call short.

Unlike the other commenter, I did make some degree of peace with my mother before she died of cancer and I'm glad I did as I have learned more about bipolar, I've managed to come to terms with it better.

[–] shandy8 11 years ago

'Joan' was the nickname my sister and I gave our mother after we both read 'Mommie Dearest' in high school. The character of Joan Crawford reacted much in the same way as our mother did when we made boo-boos. She wasn't much of a drinker, but she definitely went on Crawfordesque tirades from time to time; however, she never gave us anything we didn't deserve. Funny, though, when I practically burned down our kitchen, she saw how upset I was with myself and said "That's what insurance is for, sweetie" and hugged me and we all went out to dinner.

When I read Helen Hayes' remark that Joan Crawford made Christina Crawford eat an entire box of chocolates after discovering that the child had eaten one without asking, it reminded me of the time that my mother caught me smoking and made me smoke until I was sick.

"What do you want me to do, draw a picture? Spell it out!"

[–] DesperateHouseboy 11 years ago

No, thank god lol.

[–] sag1268 11 years ago

My ex-mother-in-law was a clone of her.

[–] GiaJake 11 years ago

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[–] blacknyellowsquid 11 years ago

I get kind of tired of hearing people talking about the sanctity of motherhood.

AMEEENNNNNNN. I suppose only people who didn't necessarily have the most wonderful of upbringings with their mother would understand that, though. I went through a very resentful stage and was often confronted with that disapproving response of how dare one speak less than glowingly about their mothers.

As for your question -- meh, to a small degree. Somewhat in the sense of, the unpredictably of what would set her off and the impossible standards, also taking out her own stress and anger about other things in life on us kids. Plus the acting 'perfect' to others. So some of the resentful ways Christina would emote and behave reminded me of how I felt in my resentful stage. But my mother actually did love me so that's a huge difference haha.

[–] zuzupetal_99 11 years ago

Watching the movie, I didn't see my mother as Joan, but my father definetly had some similaries in parenting....he was abusive physically & emotionally, and I always lived in fear, wondering when he'd blow up at me for some unknown reason. I could identify with Christina - she looked afraid when Joan was around, especially right before the coat hanger scene. And how she was always asking "What'd I do???" I always had to ask that too, b/c I tried so hard to not get in trouble, yet there was always something to get in trouble about. The coat hanger scene is a bit hard to watch, as is the choking scene...my father punched me in the stomach so hard I couldn't breathe, knocked me down the stairs, picked me up by my head & would shake me, and beat me with any number of objects - including his hairbrush b/c he thought I'd cracked it. Really, my brother cracked it b/c he was hitting me w/ it, and when my father found out, he just laughed and didn't punnish my brother at all. People think the wire hanger thing is outrageous, but that sort of stupid little sh*t was the norm at my house - one time my dad called me down and flipped out, b/c I'd left the peanut butter choppy in the jar, instead of swirling it....WTF?!?! I didn't even know that was a requirement, but believe me, I got a lesson that day!!!

I don't think people can really believe this sort of stuff happened to Christina, b/c they didn't have that kind of crap in their own life. There are people in my family that really don't know what it was like to grow up in my house, and even my brother who's only 2 years younger than me, didn't have the same experiences I had....so just b/c Joan's twins don't corraborate Christina's story, or Joan's Hollywood friends say they didn't see any abuse, doesn't mean it wasn't there!

"Are you going to your grave with unlived lives in your veins?" ~ The Good Girl

[–] 11 years ago

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