PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE?
Is Beth's behavior towards Conrad passive-aggressive? In other words: is she intentionally avoiding Conrad because she knows that hurts him, and that's exactly what she wants?
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MovieChat Forums > Ordinary People (1980) Discussion > PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE?
no
shareNo, not as I understand what passive-aggressive means. People with those kinds of personalities tend to be non-assertive, use indirect means to control and sometimes abuse, without actually doing a whole lot. Beth was the mother of the house, and I think it's fair to say that she played second fiddle to no one. She was quiet and reserved by nature,--it was her culture as much as her personality--and yet I don't think that there was any intent to hurt Conrad. She did of course hurt him very much, and at some level she knew it, but this was a result of who she was, not something she was doing out of cruelty or some kind of displacement of aggression. Beth was about Beth. She could not get out of her,--to coin a phrase--ego zone.
sharePerhaps in a way, but Beth is not really that self-aware of what she is doing. She can't deal with her own feelings and emotions, let alone deliberately find the time to play mind games with Conrad. She might be feeling disappointed in Conrad; but that is more along the lines of her own selfish and self-absorbed narcissism. She looks up to those that provide the ideal image of what she thinks she should or want to represent. Her perfect world got shattered and she just didn't know how to cope with the mess. Like the broken plate, she desperately attempts to put something back together that can't really be fixed.
Exorcist: Christ's power compels you. Cast out, unclean spirit.
Destinata:💩
Yes, that's a good way to put it: Beth was disappointed in Conrad. His extreme response to his brother's death and all that followed was an embarrassment for her. She took it personally. That what was happening to Conrad was in fact happening to him, not her, was something she could not comprehend. I understand her type. My mother was similar. It's extremely difficult for a child/teenager to feel his own emotions when he has a parent who responds to his (or her) pain with embarrassment, possibly anger, humiliation; and then the child feels that and feels bad for having caused that rather than being able to understand the emotion itself, the experience, through sharing and understanding. It's like living on a desert island. Life is what happens to other people.
shareI think there's no question she was. All the responses that say she wasn't, and their reasoning for it, are a surprise.
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LBJ's mistress on JFK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcXeutDmuRA
I think there's no question she was.
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Yes, and someone like Beth would have been controlling\manipulating her family subtly, she had an image to maintain and aspire too. When this all came crashing down around her, her passive aggressive behavior was projected mainly at Conrad, who she really didn't connect with and deep down, how dare he shame their family.
Exorcist: Christ's power compels you. Cast out, unclean spirit.
Destinata:💩
she intentionally avoids Conrad because she knows that contact could hurt him and her, and that's exactly what she does not want
shareOne scene pop my mind - the scene with the French Toast.
It was classic passive-aggressive attitude.
She serves him a meal, said good morning, smiling and than suddenly take his meal in aggressive way without give him time to respond.
She's WASPED UP, it's amognst the WASPS...real old Ale shit
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