When Calvin visited Dr. Berger he said that Beth and Conrad were the only people who didn't cry at Buck's funeral. I've never been able to figure that out. Maybe Beth didn't want to let down her guard - even when her favorite son had died? And maybe Conrad was so distraught he just shut down? In any case, they moved in opposite directions when trying to handle the aftermath of his death.
shareWomen used to be admired for keeping up a stoic front in public, keeping their grief private. That's what Beth was doing. Conrad was in shock, disbelief. Like he told Berger, Buck was the strong one.
shareMany people cry in private rather than in public, but not necessarily due to social-pressure nor personality, but their involuntary wiring. I don't see it as subtext about Conrad. I don't know if there's any significance to that line as another poster indirectly pointed out. It's a vague line, as if it refers to another scene/dialogue that was cut.
It's similar to watching a comedy/drama (even in the privacy of their living room); they feel the emotions on the inside without physically laughing out loud or tearing up.
I think Connie didn't cry because even in that state he wanted to please his mother and gain her approval. Also its what he learned was appropriate behavior from his mother. Beth as hurt as she was, was raised to keep her feelings in, and being emotional was "undignified" and a sign of weakness. Even when she talks to her mother about Conies emotional problems her mother says something among the lines "he will be ok, if you're firm with him".
shareI wonder sometimes if this isn't an error in the story. There would be no social pressure on Beth to "not cry" and I tend to think a narcissist like Beth would have played the Tragic Card in front of others, if tastefully.
Conrad, I can see blocking his own reaction emotionally.
Not that Beth herself wasn't emotionally blocked, too, as a personality. But missing the opportunity to look devastated at the funeral?? I somehow doubt it.
But if Judith Guest said Beth didn't cry then Beth didn't cry.
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LBJ's mistress on JFK:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcXeutDmuRA
I think they didn't cry for similar AND separate reasons...
Beth has no connection to real feelings. She acts as she believes she is supposed to act, with little or no connection to what she actually feels. The one emotion she can handle to some degree is anger, which comes out when her "perfect family and life" is threatened. Beth had no ability to connect with the black hole of grief that losing her golden boy/son brought about, so she just didn't. She walked through that day like a robot.
Conrad was overwhelmed with a combination of grief and the belief that he had literally murdered his perfect brother. He must have hated himself for what he perceived to be his fault (which of course wasn't). I don't think he felt he deserved to openly cry at the funeral. Not only did he believe himself guilty of murdering the brother he adored and admired, he was smart enough to understand that his mothers world had blown apart (which he also, wrongly, took responsibility for). He didn't cry because it was too much, too big. He was absolutely terrified and so overwhelmed with the enormity of what he had "done" that tears and grief were completely beyond his reach.
Oh what a falling off was there.
You both have good points, but let me add another. Conrad and Beth have very similar personalities. That is one of the driving reasons why they don't get along very well. Buck was like his Dad.
You both have good points, but let me add another. Conrad and Beth have very similar personalities. That is one of the driving reasons why they don't get along very well. Buck was like his Dad.
crying is an act of letting it go.
both couldn't at that time.
Conrad because he felt guilty for Buck's death and in a way also accused both Buck and his mother for not being loved equally by her.
Beth because she did not want to reveal that Buck meant so much to her - more than Conrad, and in a way she accused Conrad for still being alive, while Buck is not. All she sees in for her is keeping up the normal "happy" family [to the outside], which she destroys from the inside by doing so.
Both are similar personalities, but Conrad is still so young and in a state of change and exploration. Beth is a settled adult who does not only feel responsible for her actions, but also for the entire family and all its members. The first thing Conrad asks from Burger is to help him control himself (like her mother does all the time). Beth on the other hand would never even go to Burger, because she controlled herself to an extent that she can't even admit having weak sides any more.