Beth: What if the Reverse Had Happened?

Calvin loved his son and Conrad's love for his father was a key feeling between them. This was expressed in the final scene. The love aspect is really regarding Beth and if she was capable of a genuine, deep-seated love. Did she even love her husband and did she love him more than Buck?

Exorcist: Christ's power compels you. Cast out, unclean spirit.
Destinata:💩

I find nothing disturbing (incestuous) about her joy of Buck. Audiences look for things today that don't exist.
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Well, I found that bit a little weird/uncomfortable myself. So did Pauline Karl when she reviewed the movie in 1980. Maybe not "incestuous", but it definitely seemed off and maybe even a little inappropriate.

Besides, you don't know what was going in Robert Redford's mind when he did this scene (which was not in the book.)

Maybe it's you who can't see the nose on your face.

I was 17 when I first saw this film, and I immediately spotted something off about this scene. There was definitely something flirtatious about Beth's behavior towards Buck, the way she laid back on the grass, the way she giggled in a coquettish way, the way she playfully threw something at him. Most of all her overall reaction towards Buck's story was strange: he was boasting about behavior that an "ordinary" parent would become angry with a child for. Was she so indulgent towards him?

One question to ask regarding the meaning of this scene is whether it actually happened (so that it would be Conrad's memory of an event) or is it just the product of Conrad's imagination. I actually tend to believe the latter. I find it hard to imagine that Beth would really behave in this way. Conrad is feeling bad that he and his mother do not get on well, and he is thinking of how well she and Buck got on. Conrad's imagination compares it to a situation where he is the ignored suitor and Buck is the very successful suitor - he wraps the "girl" (his mother) around his finger. As the scene is not explained further, we can have no idea which is true.

Bingo!

Her attitude was more of a "How dare you embarrass me?" type of thing.

That's why she reacted the way she did at the party, when Cal revealed Connie was in therapy

After seeing Ordinary People almost two dozen times over the years, I'm convinced that the hingepin in the story is indeed Beth. She's incapable of love. For one thing, she's a control freak. Conrad makes that clear when he says she fired a maid for not dusting the living room correctly. She doesn't like mess; she doesn't like it when her world is turned upside down, and she doesn't like disorder. Her jock son/first baby/first child died, and that meant an obituary, funeral arrangements, grief and DISORDER. That Conrad MIGHT have been able to do something about it, such as save his brother, only added more salt to Beth's wounds. I don't believe she ever loved anyone, including herself. But she did like to have a world to her liking and one of her own design. Conrad threw all that into a tailspin.

Part of her, especially toward the conclusion, realizes that she's the problem, not Conrad or her husband. Or even Buck's death. She moons in Buck's room because it being "perfectly preserved" also preserved a slice of her life when things were perfect, orderly, and just fine, thank you.

That Conrad continues to have problems, which only adds more disarray, is the straw that broke the camel's back and revealed Beth's true colors. Her husband finally realizes it and sees her for the person she really is. She can't deny it, either. That's why Beth packs her bags and leaves.

...with Connie out of the picture, she wouldnt have the awkwardness of dealing with someone she doesn't connect with....because Beth is closer to him, it wouldnt be as bad as what Connie did in her eyes.
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It is hypothetical, because we don't get to know much about Buck in the film, just that he was the golden son that represented what Beth had strived for or stood for in her milieu. If Conrad had died and Buck had blamed himself and tried to kill himself, I feel that Beth would have been able to be there for him, as opposed to how she felt about Conrad's suicide attempt. It would still be a mess though; but connection is key and as suggested in the film, Buck wasn't that strong. It might have been even more difficult if he went off the rails. Either way, I think the Jarrets were destined to be torn apart. Calvin and Beth operated from different ends of the spectrum regarding Buck's death and Calvin was blind or even dense to not see his wife's coldness and aloofness, until a tragedy had occurred.

Don't eat the whole ones! Those are for the guests. 🍪

In the book, she blamed Conrad for trying to killed himself to hurt her. She reveal this to Cal by said "He did it wickedly, made it as sickening as possible! The blood - all the blood!" (my translation). Of course that's not true. But Beth's only think about maintain appearance of perfect life, this's the reason why she didn't like Conrad he wasn't "prefect" enough for her. In some sense she blame Conrad for Buck (the "prefect" son) death.
She actually revenge him in a very cruel way by not visiting him in the hospital all these months.

I thought it was interesting that Buck and Conrad seemed to hang out with the same group of friends, given that they seemed so different. But I'm wondering what Conrad was like before his brother's death. His dad says that he was always "hard on himself." So was he always prone to depression, whereas Buck was lacking introspection? Did Beth dislike Conrad because she was sensitive and she thought of that as a weakness?