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Things learned from watching the Muppet Movie


Getting lost and asking Hare Krishna is a great running gag
Out of all the colors of balloons there were to choose from, Gonzo only thinks red or green is a choice
Dragonfly ripple and honey flavored ice cream is readily available at ice cream stands
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
Frogs can ride bikes and bears can drive Studebakers
There's nothing out there you can do, why, even Santa Clause believes in you
You can "break into" public television
Some giant yellow canaries actually choose to walk halfway across the country instead of taking a bus or a plane
Not even a receptionist at a movie studio who has animal hair allergies can stop Kermit the Frog
Gonzo is a little like a turkey, but not much
Great plumbers are born, not made
The price on the car sticker is the price you pay, and never more, never less.
You can owe a group of people a nickel





Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated.

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There is a standard "rich and famous" contract.

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Talent scouts routinely seek new acts in the middle of the Everglades...and STILL find better acts than what's popular today.

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-Gonzo will go back there someday
-If your girlfriend ditches you in the middle of nowhere on the way to Hollywood, you'll still somehow find her sitting on the side of the road trying to hitchhike
-If some girl is infatuated with you that you meet at a carnival during a cross country road trip, and you invite her for ice cream, she'll probably think you're inviting her to go to Hollywood
-Doc Hopper's frog legs franchise will result in millions of frogs on tiny crutches
-If you invite someone to go to Hollywood and he excitedly runs off to get his luggage, don't leave because you think he just randomly ran away, because he'll chase after you
-Billboards advertising custard pies usually contain real custard
-Even if you disguise your car so it's not recognizable, you'll still get spotted
-There are billboards that are conveniently painted just like your disguised car so you can blend in with it to lose somebody during a car chase
-If someone is about to kill you, your friend just may save the day at the last second by eating insta-grow pills and scaring off the killers





Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated.

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Drinks are on the house will work every time to get the rowdy crowd out of there.
There is such a thing as kosher bacon.
It is always good to have a screenplay with you, so you know where to find others at the right place.
Never call a policeman a pig in front of Miss Piggy.

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A church is the perfect place for a rock band to hang out.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beeker can only make things that are sadly temporary.
It is always a terrible idea to make fat jokes cause someone might get offended.
If you go against your boss' will to meet with people that he wants to harm, you should always disguise yourself as a motorcycle cop.
Steve Martin used to be a waiter.
Richard Pryor used to work in a carnival.

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You go to Hollywood to become a movie star, if you want to do it the easy way.

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