MovieChat Forums > Kramer vs. Kramer (1979) Discussion > I can't stand parents like Joanna!!!!!

I can't stand parents like Joanna!!!!!

posted 10 years ago by aflowergirl69
2 replies | jump to latest

I think Joanna is totally selfish!!!! She cared more about herself than her little boy. She could have explained herself in a way that would have not left Billy feeling that his "mommy" just up and left him. Poor child had no idea why. No telling what was going on in his precious little head? Children will ALWAYS find a way to turn things around to being their fault. Billy probably thought his "mommy" left him because he was bad. If only he didn't do this or that. Can you begin to imagine what a child in that situation must think?? That is so beyond wrong...selfish...inexcusable etc. for Joanna to place those feelings onto her child. I can't stand parents like her. They just leave their kids....go off to "find themselves" (or whatever bull crap excuse) and eventually after whatever amount of time and what has happened in their child's life during their absence....they swoop back in and think "ok...I'm back now. Everything is great!! It doesn't matter that I abandoned you. You're just suppose to let me back into your life now and forget all that pain and feelings of abandonment you've been dealing with." Also...they expect the ones who have taken care of the child to just let them come back in and let the child go! It's like "hey...thanks for taking care of my child that I left in the dust...but you can go now...i'm back!!??" They pay no mind to the person who has been kissing the boo boos. No mind to the person that has been soothing that child's broken heart and world....just hand me my child back now. I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! Parents like this pay no mind to anyone's feelings but their own!!!!

[–] emerset 10 years ago

That's why I'm a staunch supporter of family planning.
I don't even think Joanna wanted to have a kid in the first place. She wanted her independence and she wanted a professional job and that's fine, but the husband wanted her to be a house-wife and wouldn't listen to anything else. This is also the main reason I sympathised with her.

I noticed the trend of "mothers not really caring about their children" in older stories like The Great Gatsby where Daisy actually said of her daughter "I suppose she talks, and — eats, and everything." I also was not able to believe that parents could care so little about their kids until I concluded that there were women who never had the power or the choice as to whether to have kids. It's the best explanation I could come up with.

Of course this is still in no way excusable. Absolutely not. I cannot imagine the permanent emotional damage that Billy could have felt. But I feel she would never have made such a drastic move if she hadn't felt so powerlessly trapped. Part of her emotional brakedown was because of him.

[–] spookyrat1 10 years ago

Part of her emotional brakedown was because of him.

Definitely!

I think the movie is a pretty open-ended and realistic look at the real impacts, on parents as well as children, of both separation and divorce.

Not everyone makes an ideal parent. Ted isn't earlier in the film and probably not the greatest husband, as he hasn't picked up on the clear depression from which Joanna is suffering. He's too career focussed. Joanna feels she needs to go back to work.

At the end Joanna realises that Ted has evolved into a better primary care-giver than she and lets the status quo remain.

IMO this doesn't make her a bad parent.