MovieChat Forums > The Great Santini (1979) Discussion > This is the Truth about Military Life!

This is the Truth about Military Life!


Ok, I haven't gotten to see the movie, but did read the book. What the STORY is about, and it is true, is what it is to be raised by a "Military" Parent - and it is no picnic. While most men do not raise a hand to their wives. My father really did do the White Glove (running a clean white glove over all surfaces)on my mother to see if she had cleaned the house properly. And most of the kids do get beaten - a lot. Few people can understand what it is to grow up in Boot Camp.

The information in the book was autobiographical enough that it effectively tore the whole family appart.

The story is NOT about Bull, but what it is to have such a father.

reply

[deleted]

a masochist I take it?

There are few things more confusing than hearing someone say, "I forgot the midget."

reply

Why?

reply

Talk is cheap until you actually have to live it.

reply

My father was a career military man but our household wasn't run like that. However, I did know other people whose were.

reply

[deleted]

Pretty sad when people can't separate their work life from their family life. I'd prefer some discipline over no discipline at all, but sometimes boot camp for children sucks.

reply

The military is not "work." It is a career and a lifestyle, very much like civilian jobs such as law enforcement or the fire service. Careers like that are not what you do, it is who you are.

What does this have to do anyway with questions about this movie? That some see it has a reflection of their childhood as a "military brat," others who were also brats don't see themselves in it. It is simply the story of one family. My father spent time in the Army during Korea and was a career law enforcement officer. Strict beyond measure at times, but loving and caring nonetheless.

The career of the father in this was a Marine aviator, but he could have been just as easily a mid-level manager for a mational corporation, being transferred, as necessary for the good of the company. Again, this is a movie about one family that happened to be a military family, but I recognize some of my friends' families while growing up in my town. Their dads just as tough, but none career military men either.

reply

Kudos to your dad and your husband for knowing how to separate military duty from family life.

reply

Consider yourself lucky.

reply

My house wasn't like that either. My dad was also a career military man and it was my mom who acted like a "nut". I loved living the military life, traveling, meeting new people. I'm glad I had a great experience.

reply

I went through the same treatment growing up. When my father wasn't drilling troops at home, he was out on patrol in Vietnam. One of the proudest moments of my childhood was when my father awarded me his Bronze Star for an act he considered "above and beyond". I wasn't even 10 years old at the time.

reply

perhaps because he was a submariner and all that rah rah stuff gets old really quickly in those circumstances.

But the kids' lives really hit home with my sibs and me. Being the 'new kid' all the time.

Sometimes I think about this movie when I'm wearing my dad's leather flight/sub jacket and what it means.

reply

Consider yourself lucky then.

reply

Yes, "the new kid" subplot was what I identified with the most. And, I echo the; "not my Dad, but some of my buddies Dads were like that"
Most of the uncomfortable and awkward periods of being new were alleviated once I became a varsity athlete from grade eight on.

reply

i JUST moved again cuz of the military. personally i couldnt imagine any other life to live. even though my dad can get a serious in a second i like it more being in a structured environment. 2 of my bros are in the military and the other one is already trying to get there and hes only 12. watching it makes me proud though cuz not many kids can say there dad has fought to help people be safe and free. this sounds really patriotic and know just retarded but this is a REALLY good story that is similar to me.

reply

couldnt agree more with your post...

I tried to enjoy the movie... its just brought back to many difficult memories..

btw.. i beat him in basketball once.. and he never playd basketball with me again.. hahahaha!!!

<grumble>

reply

Rose: the movie was showing today so I looked up info on it now that I know about this site.

You have no idea how cool, or reassuring or …something, it was to see someone else had to live through the White Glove Inspections. Dad used a razor strop for spankings: bare butt or not depending on his opinion on the nature of the disobedience. After one of the floods took away strop [nice river; good river ], he used a doubled-over belt. And there were other types of military discipline he engaged in. The last spanking he gave left bruises on my brother. I can still, vividly, remember my brother’s screams [not just crying: screams], while Mom and I stood outside just holding each other. Dad knew he’d “lost it”.

Then he resorted to lectures. I clocked one at over 4 hours. He left permanent emotional scars on my brother who didn’t have the verbal skills I had and was probably more emotionally sensitive than I was. Or the tenacity to deal with the emotional and physical abuse. I remember the point where I made the decision “He IS NOT going to make me cry” during spankings. Too this day, I don’t cry. My brother is still affected by our childhood in a big way. I went to a lot of therapy.

I never saw the flick when it came out. Why would I? But my friends who knew my Dad kept saying I HAD to see the film because Duvall’s performance was Exactly how they viewed him. I saw way too much truth in his performance. And Dad was ex-Marine/MP [Korean War Vet] by the time I was 1 yr old. We did become good friends as adults but only after many heated and hurtful arguments.

The one thing he had in his favour was that he was intelligent and logical and if I could show him where he was wrong using that logic and my knowledge of psychology and science, he was willing to change his beliefs. It was a long road. But even as a child I seemed to have an innate knowledge of his ethical parameters [very narrow and very black and white; no grays allowed] and understood him in a way no one else did.

If other Marine offspring were spared this type of upbringing they should consider themselves VERY lucky. Thank you for starting this thread. See also my comments on Stir of Echoes The Homecoming: thread title: No More Blood For Oil for comments on the effect of Vets on their families.



Remember the Golden Rule: treat others as you would want to be treated.

reply

I'm not a Marine child but the son of a Senior Drill Sergeant in the U.S. Army. I can confim that even in retirement the treatment doesn't change.

Rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse and a few are better. - Homer

reply

[deleted]

I never realized how lucky I was until later on. My father is a retired Marine and he's never treated us kids the way Bull treated his family. My grandfather died when I was only a couple months old. In my late teens I heard stories about my grandfather from other relatives. He was in the Army and the stories they told about him sent chills down my spine. I don't know how my father didn't carry on with the same stuff himself. I'm just thankful that some part of him knew not to repeat it in our home, or maybe my mother had a stronger influence over him, hard to say.

reply

I know what you mean. My Dad had parents like Bull and his wife, which his Dad was just as abusive and demanding as Bull and his mother was like Bull's wife in that she had stood by him in the process. My grandfather served in the US Navy during the WWII years and he made it as high as Petty Officer First Class. He was a great guy when it came to business and other worldly affairs, but he was a real clusterf### it came to relating to kids. He treated my Dad as if he had the right to have my Dad under his thumb all the time, and he told my Dad probably 2 or 3 times that he loved him. He threatened my Dad with disowning him if he didn't follow the "life plan" that he had set up for him (my Dad wanted to go to college and the only way he'd go if he were called to be a preacher, and that would be to Tennessee Temple, thanks to my self-righteous preacher uncle who served with him). He hardly ever had much of anything nice to say to anything, and he treated my Dad as if he was his slave. It really sucks growing up under people who think that they have the right to treat their kids like crap and make them feel prisoners, and then have the gall to wonder why their kids hate them and don't want to have anything to do with them. Lucky for my grandfather, my Dad loved and respected him and did anything he had ever asked until the day that my Grandfather had passed on. My grandfather was just as controlling as Bull, for he would keep pushing until a person gave in and would rip someone if they had a different opinion than his. It's funny how people like Bull think that they have the right to treat people like garbage, but get all upset when other treat them that way in return. I ended up despising him and my grandmother for how they treated my Dad because my Dad is a great man who would give someone the shirt off his back and he has never treated me or my siblings that way.

reply

By the time that many of the veterans returned from WWII, their "war babies" had formed inextricable bonds with their mothers; the fathers were intruders in aviator sunglasses. These were also the earliest babies raised according to the guidelines of Dr. Spock. The mothers saw the sixties coming down the road: War Babies against the "my way or the highway" fathers.

These men had to wait for their "boomers" to be born before they could form any attachments. My older sister was the war baby, and I was the boomer who polished shoes and watched old war movies on T.V. with Dad on the week-ends. But even I had to live by the "shape up or ship out" rules of the house as I began to rebel during college.

Semper Fi and R.I.P, Dad.

reply