MovieChat Forums > Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (1979) Discussion > Funny story

Funny story

posted 16 years ago by Onward_Through_the_Fog
4 replies | jump to latest

This was the first porn movie I ever saw. It was playing at an independent movie theatre in my neighbourhood. I was only 14 and my older friends and I decided to catch a movie after swim practice. The catch: we had no idea it was porn. Why would we assume that this indie theatre would show vintage porn? The sign on the marquis cut off at Beneath the Valley of the Ult...". Innocently we walked in (I don't know how I got in without being IDed) and sat down with out popcorn and candy. After a few minutes when some raunchy, what I thought were previews had started. It took my friends and I a few minutes to get what was going on. The friends I was with were older were horrified that they had brought me to a porn movie. Still, we stayed to watch the whole thing. When I got home that night and my mom asked me what I had seen I blurted out Austin Powers and ran up to my room. The next morning at swim practice, someone told me coach and everyone continued to tease me for weeks.

I'm 22 now and not really into porn, but have to say that I much prefer this 1970s narrative porn to the kinky crap that's taken over. Overall, it was a good first experience.

[–] Tresix 16 years ago

That is a funny story! I had already seen hardcore porn by the time I saw this. I first heard about it when some of the women did a layout in a 1977 issue of "Oui" magazine. It took two years before the movie played Chicago (or anywhere else, I guess). Even hardcore porn is better than most of the stuff that comes out today: they actually had stories and halfway decent acting. Now, most of the women are starting to look alike and the stories are just plain silly. Plus, they were shot on film instead of video. Video looks kind of cold around the edges while film seems lifelike.

s to the left of me.
s to the right.
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you!

[–] coney_island_baby 14 years ago

...This isn't porn! Where the hell did you grow up?

If you LOVE atheism and are 100% proud of it copy this and make it your signature!

[–] Tresix 10 years ago

There's hardcore porn and there's softcore. "Hardcore" is what most people think of when you mention porn with the close-ups of the genitals and the "money shot". "Softcore" would be something like Meyer's movies as well as the "Emmanuelle" films or "Last Tango in Paris".

"There will be blood. Oh, yes! There will be blood."-Jigsaw; "Saw II"

[–] huckfunn 8 years ago

"Softcore" would be something like Meyer's movies as well as the "Emmanuelle" films or "Last Tango in Paris".

Also, "Last Tango" has the best bosom ever captured on celluloid.

Martha Washington was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.