Barnsby

Actually, they're cousins. The Barnsby family was rather notorious, most notably brothers Tim and Herbert. They created such mayhem across the land that an Act of Parliament was passed, specifically to deal with them. It was decided, for the good of England, not to mention the rest of the free world, that they be sent to opposite ends of the Earth. Tim, who was known to randomly attack passers-by with his bullwhip, was shipped off to America. Herbert, who enjoyed a drink or two, and left many a cake out in the rain, was shipped off to Australia.

By the time of World War II, their grandsons would be drawn into this massive conflict. One would become a ruddy bomber pilot, while the other would become an Army Ranger, after a bit of time in the world of archeology (under an assumed name of little imagination). In fact, their paths nearly crossed. The Australian Barnsby's plane was the one next to the one the American steals. The Aussie was passed out in the rear, after yet another's night of drinking and brawling. He was tucked away, warmly dreaming of a land with a legal limit to the snow.

Pity the poor American Barnsby, though. Without his presence at home, his young son Bob would find no end of trouble. Barnsby never made it back from Yugoslavia and his wife remarried a farmer, named Falfa. He adopted young Bob, but never quite shook the rebel out of him. Bob would finally get his wake-up call in a drag race. His ultimate fate is a bit murky. Some say he ended up as a motorcycle cop, who enjoyed ticketing hippies. Others say he changed his name to Lucas and served in Special Forces, in Vietnam. There are even some crackpots that claim he became a smuggler in outer space, but no one buuys that.

As for the Aussie branch? Well, they varied in status. One became a well known rugby player, while another was associated with the IRA. One cut a dreadful cover of a pop song, while another fell in with an Arthurian cult. Of course, this was nothing new. There were rumors of an ancestor who ended up in the Great Plains and went native, back in the 1800's, though this hasn't been confirmed. There are other stories of a different ancestor, who was a gunfighter, killing Chinese for the railroad. It was said that he went afoul of a lawman. There were even wild tales that the family was descended from Marcus Aurelias, emperor of Rome.