Whether one hides the fact that they are dying from a loved one is a personal choice. In the Bette Davis movie, the character chose to do this. Also, consider the circumstances of why she did so-her husband was on his way to a meeting to talk about his research findings. She did not want him to stay home, knowing how important it was for him to go. In the 1976 remake, the character did not choose to. Neither made a wrong choice and each person reacts differently to such a situation.
The Dark Victory is not talking about how Bette's character hid her impending death from her husband, but how she bravely faced death by choosing to live a happy life, even though she knew it would be cut short. It is the same with the character Elizabeth Montgomery played. And I do not see how you can describe her actions as desperately trying to call her husband. She did not do that. All she did was ask her secretary to call and then she tried calling him and calmly asked him to come home. She was simply afraid to die alone. There is no shame in that. Her "dark victory" is also that she faced her death with trying to live happily.
The blurred shots are for the benefit of the viewer. It helps them to more easily put themselves in her place, seeing as she might see things so that they might feel what she might feel.
Finally, I disagree with you on your comment regarding the lack of emotional impact at the ending. It was full of emotion. Her looking at him, even though through blurred vision and her smiling was very brave of her and told me that she was going to help him not be so sad because of her dying very soon. They would face it together, keeping each other strong.
"Do All Things For God's Glory"-1 Corinthians 10:31
I try doing this with my posts