Jaws AKA sharks vs humans (1975) - REVIEW

-so this film is about a psychopathic mayor of a beach resort
-who after hearing about a woman getting eaten alive
-by a gigantic fucking shark
-decides the best option would be
-to ignore the chief of police's clear report
-that there are sharks in the water
-that eat people alive
-favouring the far more lucrative option
-of sending even more people to the beach
-because its like the 4th of july or something
-which is the day the americans
-finally got their long awaited independence
-after will smith valiantly fought off an army of illegal aliens
-the racist bastard
-so as i said its the 4th of july and loads of people turn up at the beach
-and the policeman is like
-"omg dont go in the water there is a shark (in the water)"
-and the mayor is like nah we need the shekels bruv
-and im like ok i get the psychopathic capitalist idea driving you here
-but you've already got all the people on the beach and to your town
-so from a tourism point of view job done
-and you want them all the leave with a favourable impression of the town
-and nothing leaves a lasting positive impression like a pair of massive shark jaws right?
-so why the fuck are you desperately trying to get people to
-physically enter the water?!
-how is that going to earn you more money?
-you see the coast guard and policemen in the ocean
-in their boats trying to spot any sharks
-y'know those things that eat you
-that live in the water
-and cant walk very well so if you remain on land
-you're relatively safe from being eaten alive
-so why is this prick trying to guilt trip people into the water?
-he literally harasses some old boy and his family
-including 3 young kids
-to go into the shark invested water
-this is madness
-and unbelievable character behaviour
-which leads me to my issue with this classic film
-in order for more people to die and the plot to move forward
-the film creates this unbelievable bastard mayor of a character
-(unless this is based on a true story if so im wrong lol)
-so anyway the writers and the mayor get what they want
-and a giant shark appears all like "roar!" and shit
-but in a brilliant twist
-its actually two kids pretending to be a shark!
-the little fucking shits
-and the police all have their guns pointing at the "shark"
-but dont shoot
-they wait until the kids emerge from the water
-but why?
-why would they wait?
-what were they waiting for exactly?
-why not shoot the fucking thing?!
-why is there such an extreme level of incompetence in this fucking shithole town?
-but anyway
-the final half of the film
-is genuinely excellent
-they meet some absolute madlad called Quint
-whos crazier than the mayor
-and they all get drunk and hunt a gigantic shark for like an hour
-its really well done
-and the music is all like "ba dum ba dum ba dum dadadadalala"
-and i heard there's going to be an aussie remake
-its called "oi mate there's a bloody fish in the water"
8/10