MovieChat Forums > Histoire d'O (1975) Discussion > Question for All Subs and Doms

Question for All Subs and Doms

posted 18 years ago by Victorias_Secret
56 replies | jump to latest

What did you make of the ending when Sir Stephen abandons O in Roissy. In the book, there are two alternate endings, one she just belongs to Roissy and the other, she asks to be killed and Sir Stephen consents to her request.

Do you think there is a dynamic where the Dom can become, well, bored with a sub who has submitted totally? I especially concerned because I had a Master I submitted to fully. After two years, he "freed" me which was like being caste out of Heaven. He told me I was a "taker, not a giver," the ugliest words ever spoken to me. I gave him everything I had to give and I just didn't understand.

In A Certain Sacrifice, the movie Madonna was in before she became a star, she was a Dom and she felt something like that about her "family of slaves." She said, "We're now all stuck in this f-ing vacuum of dominance and submission." Does anything thing that a vacuum can be created between a Dom and a sub where the Dom just feels sucked dry or something?

I know some of you have really good, stable relationships and, I,too, have a good stable relationship with my Mistress. The funny thing is that I was her Dom for years before we traded places. During that time, I did, in fact, get bored with topping her. But I think it was really because I wasn't really a real Dom to begin with. Now we are very happy and she shows no signs whatever of getting bored in the relationship.

This has been a very difficult post to write and I hasn't been made lightly. I would be grateful for all serious replies.

Terry
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.

[–] Miss_October 18 years ago

"Does anything thing that a vacuum can be created between a Dom and a sub where the Dom just feels sucked dry or something?"

If I understand you correctly, the answer is "definitely"! It's one of the reasons I dislike being a dominant; it can be (and when it's professional, nearly always is) an extreme emotional drain.

I don't think it's any secret that the sub is the one really in control of the relationship; it is her that everything is "done for", just as a good mother does for her children. Externally the mum is the "boss", but everything she does is for the kids, and (as everyone who has ever had kids can confirm) it is often exhausting and emotionally draining; having another person's well-being and happiness completely in one's care is hard work. And like children, bad submissives are often demanding and unappreciative.

Does this mean I think that you were a bad sub in your previous relationship? I seriously doubt it. From what you have privately told me of your former master, I think he was naive and undeserving of your submission. Samleopold and I had a discussion about men like that a while back; they want to be masters but they totally misunderstand the reciprocal nature of the relationship. They believe the slave should mindlessly devote herself to his happiness with no thought of her own, which is unrealistic male fantasy; these are the same kind of men whose idea of fatherhood is parking the kids in front of the TV and saying things like "sit down and shut up." They are the sort of men who keep their dogs chained up in the backyard and never walk them or play with them. Masterhood carries responsibilities with its privileges, and I think your former master tossed you out when he woke up to that harsh reality. A man like that wants a wind-up doll he can take out and play with whenever he likes, an undemanding thing that exists only to satisfy his needs, and not a real flesh-and-blood woman with needs of her own that he must carefully tend and discipline when needed (like Mr. Grey with his orchids, a FANTASTIC symbol if there ever was one). That crap he said (that you were a "taker, not a giver") just means that you were actually requiring him to put forth something of himself rather than letting yourself be squeezed completely dry for his childish satisfaction. Of course, he had to make it look as though it was your fault, because deep down he knew it was HIS failure as a master, and his fragile male ego required him to save face.

Male subs are, in my experience, nearly always the same type of man, except much less naive. They recognize the true direction of power in the D/s relationship and seek to exploit it by demanding to be dominated in such-and-such a way. Such a man neither needs nor desires true discipline or firm guidance; he just wants a woman who will excite him by playing a certain role that will dovetail with his preconceived fantasy-goddess figure. In other words, he wants a wind-up mistress whom he can take out of the closet whenever he wants to be whipped or verbally abused or have his genitals trodden on or whatever. That's why there is such demand for dominatrixes; the male sub can call her up whenever he feels like it, pay his fare and get what he wants, then forget about her until he gets the urge again. No demands, just a servant who is willing to pretend to be the mistress.

So, the bad master and the typical male sub are both the same kind of man in reality: A selfish, immature sexist who believes deep down that women are mindless toys whose only purpose in the universe is to serve men. The reality, of course, is quite different, and a good master recognizes that. He knows that Woman is the wellspring of life, the center of creation, a precious treasure to be protected and cared for like a rare orchid. He disciplines her and corrects her for her own good (not out of a desire to inflict pain or a selfish need for cheap sexual gratification), and she responds with the priceless gift of her obedience and love. A friend of mine once pointed out that the definition of abuse is doing something to another who is in one's power to satisfy one's OWN needs rather than hers. In other words, if I calmly spank a child to teach her that she has done something naughty that she must learn not to repeat, it is not abusive; but if I slap her because I am angry or frustrated with her, it is abuse. If my husband holds me down and forcefully takes me because he knows I like it that way, it is not abusive; but if a man does EXACTLY THE SAME THING without my permission in order to gratify himself, it is rape. It's all in the motivation.

I realize this post is a bit long-winded, perhaps more than you wanted; I am also sorry if I hurt your feelings by speaking frankly about your ex-master. However, I think you needed to hear it so you can realize that the fault was not yours, and thereby put the affair to rest at long last. In other words, my motivation was pure, as I think you realize.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] Victorias_Secret 18 years ago

Dear O,

Thank you so much for that! {{{{{October}}}}} :) It makes me feel a lot better.

But why did Sir Stephen abandon O?

Terry
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.

[–] Evil-Victoria 18 years ago

Probably the same reason as a man who can do BDSM play without much regard for the woman.'s needs. It's about the conquest. When it comes down to real intimacy and vulnerability be it BDSM or vanilla relationships, sometimes one or both people can't deal with it..

Victoria
Happy grandma:) favorite movie, Secretary, favorite zest of life, BDSM

[–] Miss_October 18 years ago

Yeah, I think you're exactly right. Though Sir Stephen was more sympathetic in the movie, in the book he was pretty much a jerk. My impression was that he got his slaves through negotiation because he was unable to win them with his personality. Then, since he had no emotional investment in the girl, he could trade her in for a newer model as soon as he tired of her.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] Victorias_Secret 18 years ago

How sad! But it's good to know it wasn't me or some intrinsic quality in BDSM relationships.

Terry
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.

[–] Miss_October 18 years ago

It might be an intrinsic quality of bad BDSM relationships; my second master was like that, but fortunately I was only with him for a few months. Considering the amount of psychic damage it did, I shudder to think what the effects might have been like had it gone on longer.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] Victorias_Secret 18 years ago

I was with Jack for two years and the effects were devastating. It took another two years before I started to pick up the pieces of my life and my broken heart.

Terry
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.

[–] pery-1 18 years ago

As the ultimate degradation!

[–] Victorias_Secret 18 years ago

What's the "ultimate degradation?" Which post were you replying to? That's why I like to change the titles of posts. To make the conversations clearer.

Did you mean being set "free" by your Master?

Terry
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.

[–] danmcn61-1 11 years ago

Once again, you hit it out of the park. Thank you!!

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] nolatecharges 18 years ago

the book is just a book its not a virtual role model for life or how to act as a slave, that this is the only way to act, its just an allegorical story.

[–] tmo1909 18 years ago

she asks Sir Stephen's permission to die and he consents. I read the book and saw the movie, but can't remember if she kills herself or what...

[–] Miss_October 18 years ago

It's left at that in the book; it is in fact the last line. The end of the movie is much rosier and leads one to believe they will stay together for some time. Considering Reage's device of giving "alternate endings" as though the story was told to her thirdhand (or even farther removed), all three endings (O stays with Sir Stephen, returns to Roissy, or dies) must be considered as equally valid.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

'He disciplines her and corrects her for her own good (not out of a desire to inflict pain or a selfish need for cheap sexual gratification), and she responds with the priceless gift of her obedience and love.'

why, because women are children that need discipline for their own good? how is that not insulting to women?

[–] Miss_October 11 years ago

If you honestly think it's helpful to project that sort of rhetoric into the very primal thought processes that characterize human sexual interaction, you will never understand BDSM.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

who says i care for it? i certainly can't begin to like or understand a lifestyle that treats one gender like they are inferior in some way. i don't think that testing someone's limits to the point of danger is entirely a wise choice. and i don't believe our sex determines our personality or nature

[–] Miss_October 11 years ago

And if you don't understand something, everyone knows that's an excuse to condemn it!

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

if you can't address anything i've said, what's the point in responding?

[–] Miss_October 11 years ago

Because I have better manners than people who think they have the right to judge other people's sexual impulses for conflicting with arbitrary rules.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

how is it arbitrary to live by the rule to treat all people on a principle level? i personally don't agree with anything further than light BDSM and can understand that sub/dom roles can be fulfilling to some people in the bedroom. pain and pleasure is a line blurred and is always debatable. but i will never understand how someone will let it take over their life, not be allowed to do anything without permission (like some women who are documenting so in their blogs i have discovered) and consider themselves beneath the dom because they are female. to me that is wrong and what is portrayed in the film is wrong, she doesn't do it because she likes/wants it, she is doing it for her boyfriend but that isn't a good enough excuse to be whipped, beaten and tortured to the point of injury. it never is. that isn't natural, to consent to subjugate yourself for someone else's satisfaction. in doing that, you might be the gateway to unleashing someone's psychotic tendencies and it will do you more harm. how can you enjoy such harm being done to you? everybody is their own person, i don't think its natural to belong to someone else. you are not an object, you are a person.
before you blast my opinion, i have a right to it as well. reading through this board, it appears that some of you don't find gay men or male subs tolerable. your opinion, but there will always be people critical of your lifestyle just as you are to theirs. there seems to be a tone of disdain when you and your fellow lifestylers talk about vanilla sex, if you can be so, so can the rest of us to you. we are all going to be judgemental

[–] Miss_October 11 years ago

To judge other people's sexual preferences by YOUR arbitrary rules, no matter what those arbitrary rules are, is morally indistinguishable from Biblical fundamentalists condemning homosexuality for violating their arbitrary rules. There is no difference whatsoever. It is one thing to say "BDSM (or homosexuality, or dressing up in animal suits, or whatever) is repellent to me and I want no part of it", and a completely different thing to say that it is "wrong", which is what you are doing. If you can't understand that there is no point in this conversation; if you can there is no need for this conversation.

Woman is the Earth and Man is the Sky.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

[–] lilsusieq86 11 years ago

Let's say yo meet a man and he tells you "Mag i have a drinking and a drug problem" "You say to yourself "Well i can live with that." So you marry him. Guess what? You thought you knew what you were getting into and you couldn't.

my Masrter/husband told me what he was looking for and what he wanted out of life. i wanted the same thing.i am not humiliated infact he praises me all the time. i am not degraded. He has taken a blank page and painted a beautiful picture. i am loved, cherished and treasured as i love cherish and treasure him. i am not talked down to or abused and i am not made to feel that he is better than me. What i am made to feel is beautiful desireable and sexy, wanted and loved. He treats me like a lady and he is almost always a gentleman with me. Opening doors and pulling out my chair. Unfortunately that kind of behavior is seen today as old fashion, but i love it.

True, those are the dynamics of some, they want to be trearted badly as badly as possible but not of all.

We live a normal life, i am a housewife and mother of three. only it's filled with more passion and respect and love than a lot of vanilla couples.

Yes, i have things that i am required to do, but i do them out of love and my desire to, please him and make him happy. i am his equal in every way. THe only difference is he has the final decision on everything. He usually always makes the right choice.

i havr never been beaten, whipped or injur4ed. That is not our dynamic. Our dynamic is othe the knee spankings, and low key things like that.

i have freedom, i do have to ask if i want to go somewhere, and he very rarely says no. i am punished when i do something wrong or break a rule, but the punishment is never that harsh and it is never to torture me or hurt me it is just to teach me.

A good Dominant will also punishish in many other ways besides physical.

Does my husband enjoy punishing me? No, he does enjoy canning and flogging me and using the riding crop on me for his pleasure, however, for those of you who are experienced know that these implements can be used erotically so that they bring pleasure and not pain, maybe a tiny sting here and there. They never show that in movies or books.

my master has over thirty years experience in this life so that makes a difference too. He was trained and been mentored by the best, but it's what's on the inside that makes you a real Dominant - nothing else.

For those of you who have had bad experiences i am truly sorry it can be daunting and life changing, but then again so vcan vanilla relationships.

The easiest thing i have ever had to do was give my heart.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

why does he feel the need to make you ask for permission to go somewhere? why do you need to be punished? why must you follow rules? this is unfathomable to me. you don't restrict an adult that way. what appeals to you to have to ask to do something? and why does he feel the need to make the final decision on everything? that can't make it equal in every way. and what happens if he gets it wrong? if he doesn't enjoy punishing you, why does he do it? is it because you like it?

so many questions to be answered!

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

i do think it's wrong to be physically and mentally beaten, even if you consent. i do find it wrong that someone allows themselves to be injured for someone else. for me, that breaks the funamental rule of respecting people and their bodies. offering to make yourself a whipping post isn't respect for yourself. but as you seem to be bored of this topic, which is the point of a discussion board, never mind

So...your idea of having 'respect' for yourself is to deny your instinctive urges and tell yourself that they are wrong because certain other people don't like them, and to conform to an arbitrary standard of equality despite the fact that it doesn't satisfy you on either a sexual or emotional level? How is that even a notion of SELF-respect when it's entirely designed to serve the moral preferences of others?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

you claim that it is instinctive, i don't. i believe that something/an event/a person is what influences a person's choice to engage in bdsm. just because something satisfies you, doesn't mean it's always right

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

I didn't mean 'instinctive' in the biological sense necessarily, but in the sense of being automatic or unconscious. And if you claim that it is a choice, have you at any point successfully denied any sexual urges that physically or psychologically stimulated you? If you have no experience with BDSM desires, you are in absolutely no position to say that they are chosen.

just because something satisfies you, doesn't mean it's always right

Sure, but you need a hell of a lot more than 'I don't find it equal or respectful' to prove that it's wrong.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

ah that makes sense now you've explained the context of the word. but my opinion is that most things are by nurture rather than by nature.

'Sure, but you need a hell of a lot more than 'I don't find it equal or respectful' to prove that it's wrong'

actually i don't. how is not being equal to other, right? what's to like about not being equal or respected? what do you get by being treated as an inferior person? i've not been in a position to deny sexual urges but then i'm not a pervert, as owen_carpenter on another board has said. if you look on the secretary board, you'll find that the use of the term is used with pride. do you believe people with bdsm desires are born with it? i find that hard to believe

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

ah that makes sense now you've explained the context of the word. but my opinion is that most things are by nurture rather than by nature.

Even if BDSM desires do require a certain kind of experience to develop, that doesn't rule out the necessity for a certain type of genetic predisposition to respond to that experience in a specific way. Reducing most things to 'nuture vs. nature' is oversimplified, just as reducing them to superior or inferior is.

actually i don't. how is not being equal to other, right? what's to like about not being equal or respected? what do you get by being treated as an inferior person?

Because equality is not the highest benchmark of a relationship, as previous posters have already pointed out with analogies to child rearing (which you have misconstrued as direct comparisons), nor does being in a submissive position make one at all inferior (as though people are ranked as 'subs' or 'bottoms' based on their abilities, and not their own volition). And once again, I'm really not sure what your definitions of 'respect' and 'self-respect' entail, because being highly regarded for one's qualities or abilities (by others or oneself) is not at all contradictory with being a submissive as far as I'm concerned. You don't seem to realize that most of your accusations toward BDSM are really your own feelings which you have taken the liberty of assuming everyone else shares.

do you believe people with bdsm desires are born with it? i find that hard to believe

I remember having them from a very young age (the first being four) so if I was not born with those desires, they at least developed at a very young age, ruling out the possibility that BDSM was a 'choice'.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

'Because equality is not the highest benchmark of a relationship'

and this is where we differ. i find it of utmost importance, it goes hand in hand with respect, self respect, love and care in a relationship and there is no point loving someone if you don't respect them or consider them an equal. you might as well have a puppy that you love and care for but will never be on your level. and that is partly why i find the lifestyle utterly distasteful to me. i've already argued extensively on why i find the desire so revolting (like it or not, i am still entitled to my opinion) but that has been beaten to death and somehow you are the only one cares anymore. the rest of us have left this topic ages ago

'You don't seem to realize that most of your accusations toward BDSM are really your own feelings which you have taken the liberty of assuming everyone else shares'

once again, this is a message board where people air their opinions. i am well aware these are all my opinions and beliefs as i have said. did you miss that bit?

'I remember having them from a very young age (the first being four) so if I was not born with those desires, they at least developed at a very young age, ruling out the possibility that BDSM was a 'choice'

alright then, being a pervert isn't a choice, if it gets you off my back. still doesn't change my opinion of it

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

and this is where we differ. i find it of utmost importance, it goes hand in hand with respect, self respect, love and care in a relationship and there is no point loving someone if you don't respect them or consider them an equal.

Again, you're jumping from 'equal' to 'respectful' without explaining how one leads to the other. I have already explained why I don't believe that submission is an impediment to respect, yet all you have done is paraphrased your original claim that equality is necessary for a healthy relationship. And again, you're confusing equality with equal worth, as evident by your claim that submissives are 'inferior' to dominants (according to whom, may I ask?)

you might as well have a puppy that you love and care for but will never be on your level.

If all BDSM boiled down to was the desire to have something to own and control, your alternative would probably be apt. But that isn't the case; it is merely your misunderstanding of it.

once again, this is a message board where people air their opinions. i am well aware these are all my opinions and beliefs as i have said. did you miss that bit?

I didn't say that you were ignorant of your opinions belonging to you; I said that you make claims about how people in the BDSM community treat and regard one another despite the fact that not only do you not understand the motives for their behavior, you have a completely skewed view of them.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

i didn't jump from one to another, i said it goes hand in hand with it. and why shouldn't it? i disagree with you that submission isn't an impediment to respect but that is repeating myself. i've read numerous accounts from people who live the lifestyle actively and some differ but essentially, out of pretty much all of the subs, they all claim that they have given their liberty up to be controlled and owned. one dom said that his sub's body is his personal playground. the person i was arguing about on here even said that she needs permission to leave the house and it is necessary for her to be punished but didn't bother answering when i and someone else asked her about her dom and why he doesn't get punished or treated the same way. they don't even agree with the idea of the sub topping from the bottom, most of them have said that it is a myth. while 10 accounts don't make a whole, all of this screams 'inferior' to me. you can't fully respect someone who is inferior to you. yes i believe that subs are inferior. nor do i understand the motives in receiving pain or inflicting it to someone. i find that sick, that someone gets off on it. i don't care if you find me ignorant either

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

i didn't jump from one to another, i said it goes hand in hand with it. and why shouldn't it?

Because as previous posters here have already explained, there are many types of relationships which are unequal in nature yet remain respectful, healthy, and nuturing. Not only relationships which are unequal out of necessity (child-parent, teacher-pupil) but those in which two people perform different roles based on their preference or ability (which occurs to some degree in all relationships). But because you seem to regard BDSM relationships as moral crimes with predetermined victims and culprits, the fact that a submissive has as much or more to gain from the relationship as a dominant, doesn't seem to enter your mind.

i've read numerous accounts from people who live the lifestyle actively and some differ but essentially, out of pretty much all of the subs, they all claim that they have given their liberty up to be controlled and owned.

How could they have possibly 'given their liberty up' when retain the ability to say 'no' and walk away at any moment they choose? Of course giving up one's power is part of BDSM fantasy, but the reality is that unless someone is in an abusive relationship, they have decided to be owned and controlled (and in many cases, have requested it).

the person i was arguing about on here even said that she needs permission to leave the house and it is necessary for her to be punished but didn't bother answering when i and someone else asked her about her dom and why he doesn't get punished or treated the same way.

Probably because the answer is about as self explanatory as it gets. Why would someone who gets off on being dominated have any desire whatsoever to punish the very person who's dominating them?

they don't even agree with the idea of the sub topping from the bottom, most of them have said that it is a myth.

Perhaps because many of them don't want to control/monitor their own submission as others do, because it contradicts their idea of what a D/s relationship should be. That is however, no less a free choice based on personal preference.

while 10 accounts don't make a whole, all of this screams 'inferior' to me. you can't fully respect someone who is inferior to you. yes i believe that subs are inferior.

So because YOU couldn't fully respect someone who was in your power, nobody else could either? This is what I meant by projecting your own attitudes onto others, and then criticizing others for an idea that is actually your own.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

parent/child and teacher/pupil relationships are not the same as sexual relationships between a couple so that comparison is way off.

'How could they have possibly 'given their liberty up' when retain the ability to say 'no' and walk away at any moment they choose?'

ask them. how the hell am i supposed to know? they claim that they have given part of their life up to be owned. that is not normal

'Why would someone who gets off on being dominated have any desire whatsoever to punish the very person who's dominating them?'

why would a grown adult 'have to be punished' in the first place? this idea is so ridiculous i laughed when i first heard it. it reduces the sub to the level of a 5 year old who has to be punished for their own good when they are fully grown adults who can earn their own living. who would choose this stupidity? yes i think you're all freaks and no i don't care that you don't like what i say. you can keep flogging the same horse but the answer from both of us will be the same

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

parent/child and teacher/pupil relationships are not the same as sexual relationships between a couple so that comparison is way off.

If you're deliberately going to ignore certain parts of my post, this will be very pointless:

Not only relationships which are unequal out of necessity (child-parent, teacher-pupil) but those in which two people perform different roles based on their preference or ability (which occurs to some degree in all relationships).

ask them. how the hell am i supposed to know? they claim that they have given part of their life up to be owned. that is not normal.

I'm asking you to use logic. Can true oppression exist in a relationship where one agrees to its terms and can walk away at any moment? Of course not.

why would a grown adult 'have to be punished' in the first place? this idea is so ridiculous i laughed when i first heard it. it reduces the sub to the level of a 5 year old who has to be punished for their own good when they are fully grown adults who can earn their own living. who would choose this stupidity?

Because they like it.

yes i think you're all freaks and no i don't care that you don't like what i say. you can keep flogging the same horse but the answer from both of us will be the same

So then why do you keep coming here?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

someone can like stealing for example, it's still stupidity. you gave examples that don't match up who we are talking about: fully mature sexual adults in a relationship do not compare to teachers and pupils. if your examples can't be compared, then you gave the wrong examples. this topic has been dead for months, why did you bother coming on here and restarting it? this argument has been over and done with for ages. i've replied long enough to this topic, there isn't any point rehashing it just because you want to pick a fight. go and get a life instead of restarting topics that have been done and dusted with

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

I need to get a life because I thought someone on the board of a film that interests me might want to have his questions answered, but you don't despite admittedly reading numerous accounts about a lifestyle which you consider disgusting, and then visiting a thread about it just to harass its participants?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

can you count? i last wrote on this board several weeks ago. i've had replies and it didn't change my mind in the least. so i am done on this thread. you are an idiot for resurrecting it

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

And you're not an idiot for whining that nobody replies to your questions, and then getting mad when someone does?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

so you haven't realised yet that people have replied to my questions weeks ago already and that's why nobody is on this thread but you? i've repeated that twice now and you still didn't get it. what an idiot you are

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

I'm the only one here despite the fact that you have been replying to me consecutively for days and have only realized that the thread is old when you started deliberately ignoring my points and repeating yourself for want of an argument?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

i can count, unlike you. i also participated in this thread so i know how much time has passed but when someone replies even after a while, i answer. but as i suspect you are trolling to get a rise out of me, i'm done. piss off back to your collection of freaks and leave decent people alone

-------------------------------------------------------
OCOE - obsessive compulsive olive eater

[–] Child_OfThe_Moon 11 years ago

Yeah, I'm the troll despite the fact that you visit boards to harass people under the feeble pretense of seeking answers

[–] 11 years ago

[deleted]

[–] lilsusieq86 11 years ago

Getting bored, growing apart, being perceived as selfish or unkind is not exclusive to vanilla relationships.They can happen anytime there is two people involved with each other.

Remember O is just a story. Yes, there are relationships like that to a degree, but this was so extreme and way over the top. Kind of like James Bond saving the world single handedly with a gun in one hand and a martinni in the other and a beautiful woman with her arms around his neck.. It's fun to read about it and watch- but...

i have been and am married to my Master (the only one i've ever had) for ten years now (altogether).

i think it's sad when these books are read by people who have no "real BDSM" experience and don't know the realities of it. How beautiful and spiritual it can be.

If you had a Master or Mistress and you are under the impression that all subs are demeaned and degrogated, etc.then you were not with a true Master or Mistress. Those types are people that play. It's their kink, but it is just for them and not for every loving D/s relationships that build you up and make you the best that you can be.

The easiest thing i have ever had to do was give my heart.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

i still do not understand. how is it beautiful and spiritual to not call your life your own? some subs even have to ask permission to have something for themselves. one woman blogged about how she felt like she shouldn't ask but she wanted ice cream and her husband/master made her feel guilty about it so of course 'it was all her fault.' can anything be more strange than not being able to make up your own decisions about these things? it's all very well acting out your fantasies in the bedroom but not being able to buy your own damn ice cream cone is ridiculous. i come from a culture in which women traditionally have been treated this way (as most cultures do) and it doesn't make it right. it goes against my principles and having escaped from that life where women are still in some places not allowed to walk in the streets without being molested, why would i subject myself to being possessed by someone? your body and person is your own, you disrespect it if you 'give' it to someone else like this in my view. i get that its about trust but i disagree with putting your life and body in the hands of anyone, no matter how much you love them. you are your own person, not be owned and looked after and disciplined like a pet puppy.
i also will never understand mutilation and maiming of the body as a pleasurable thing. leaving marks on someone and scourging their flesh is abhorrent to me. why do people welcome it? i cannot understand.
i know it's just a film but people are influenced by film and books so it does matter if this film is badly made because now you have people trying to copy it

[–] youpifish 11 years ago

I think you have difficulty distinguishing between abuse and BDSM. I don't fully understand it myself, because I'm not into BDSM, but I have a dear friend who is submissive and she tries to explain it to me. What I've learned from her more than anything is not to immediately judge what I can't understand.
You really should try and accept that some people find pleasure in being dominated, and some maybe in a more extreme way. It's the sub who draws the line and who makes the rules, and so it never be proper abuse.
Also, nobody is going to copy something from a film unless it's already in their heads. So if someone has no desire to dabble in BDSM, why would they copy a film that show them that?

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

anyone can watch the film and try to copy it out of curiosity

[–] youpifish 11 years ago

Really? Do you?
I think the only people who copy what they see in films (in terms of violent content) are either mentally unstable or too young to be having sex to begin with, so I don't think anyone would copy sexual acts with a violent twist unless they are into it anyway.

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

i disagree. teenagers and people in general are curious about they don't know about

[–] velcronewsletter 11 years ago

proving my point. he knew he went too far and it was up to him to stop. did he? no. dangerous? yes. BDSM is repellent

http://metro.co.uk/2013/01/22/50-shades-of-grey-fan-who-lashed-lover-is-cleared-of-assault-3362342/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9818258/Gardener-cleared-of-assault-after-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-sex-session.html

[–] Hasjtracker 9 years ago

Are you interested taking it step further?

You already admitted to liking the lighter stuff and i suspect you're arguing with subs to either be a white knight(saving them from heaven or whatever) or you desperately seeking a dom to explore the sub in you.

I'll pass sorry :)

[–] velcronewsletter 9 years ago

are you on crack?

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Cognoscente (2463) 3 years ago

In A Certain Sacrifice, the movie Madonna was in before she became a star

It's probably her most overlooked film.