MovieChat Forums > One Day at a Time (1975) Discussion > Ann was a crappy mother much of the time

Ann was a crappy mother much of the time


I'm watching the "Vegas" episode and she has called Barbara a baby and stupid, and told Schneider to shut up. Calling your kid stupid?? She was so loud and judgmental.

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She was a lot more reflective of real life mothers, who aren't perfect all of the time, and who have flashes of human anger and misjudgement, than 'Stepford Moms' such as June Cleaver and Carol Brady were. Of the two types, I'll take Ann over the robo-moms.

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Yes, the writers certainly made her reflective of a certain type of real-life mother: one who can't control her anger and lashes out, hurting her loved ones, when she doesn't get her way. I couldn't stand the character during the show's original run, and now that I have young adult children myself, REALLY can't stand her. Maybe it's because I grew up with this type of mom that it rankles me so. I'd take a "robo-mom" over this any day.

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You must have missed all of those episodes where Ann is loving and supportive of her daughters. And why is it so terrible to have depictions of people as they often do behave in reality (i.e. less than perfect)? Should everything be sugar-coated for the viewing audience?

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True, she was a decent mom most of the time, but still human.

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Maybe it's because I grew up with this type of mom[Ann] that it rankles me so


Then, I can definitely understand why a character like Ann Romano would really irritate you while watching her. Bonnie's character Ann was at times really annoying to me as well (especially in the 1st season) and I was raised by the more traditional Edith Bunker/June Cleaver type of mother. So, I can only imagine what it must be like to be raised by a woman who is so irrational and out of control with her emotions at times. You certainly have my sympathies if that was your young situation.

And, all I can say is.... if you're looking for a person to blame for the Ann Romano character and her bad parenting skills? Then, don't blame Bonnie Franklin, all Bonnie did was play the character that was written on the page and for the most part (in my humble opinion) Bonnie did a great job portraying that character. Therefore, I recommend blaming Norman Lear instead.

Of the many Norman Lear produced situation comedies during the 70's, his parent characters were usually very flawed parents starting with All In the Family and continuing with shows like Maude, Good Times and One Day at a Time. While we may disagree with Norma Lear's decision to portray deeply flawed parents with very poor parenting and social skills in some type of sympathetic light. That's how Norman rolled and his shows were often very successful. And, it's really hard to argue with success.

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I'll put this simply :

No mother is perfect, no father is perfect and nobody is perfect.

If we wanted to watch a perfect (or near perfect) mother....
we'd all watch Leave it To Beaver, Ozzzie & Harriet or The Donna Reed Show.

Real life mother's are human being who just do the best they know how. Period.



Go for it or just be a gopher!
(MR.) happipuppi13 🐕 *arf,man!*

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Naaaahhhhh.... I still loathe Bonnie Franklin. She played the Ann Romano character like a silly, maniacal frog. I've read enough stories about her diva-esque behavior.

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TV should be somewhat of an escape. Ann was too harsh and real.

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I like a dose of realism. I'm not fond of turning my mind off when I turn the television on.

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Ann was a real type of mother like everyone said she wasnt perfect and neither is the average mother, we have those shut up moments. Ann seem to balance being supportive and soft with being the stern disciplinarian who wasnt afraid to spank her kids when they needed it, and that my dear is what being a mother is in real life.

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That's what being a mother is in real life? I'm glad you told me. I don't know how I raised three sons without once: 1) telling them to shut up, 2) telling them they're stupid, and 3) spanking them.

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I'm glad you informed me you're a saint. I guess the rest of us can only dream of being like you.

You may be extremely polite to your sons in your rearing of them, and good on you if that's the case; but perhaps you could save aside a little of that exquisite politeness for the message boards?

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You're absolutely right, amyghost. I hope you'll accept my apology. There was no need for my unpleasant words and attitude. Thank you for pointing it out to me. I'm obviously no saint! :)

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That's okay. It's called life. That's one reason I kind of liked Bonnie Franklin's portrayal--it reflected how frustrating reality can often be pretty well :)

You seem pretty cool--stick around, this can be an interesting board.

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Ann had her good and bad moments.

She was very unselfish to take poor Alex in when his father and died and his mother couldn't be bothered to raise him because of her new husband.

She also was a horrible role model when she slept with a married man.That was her lowest point and she felt very ashamed.

She had a good husband in Ed but uprooted her girls from a loving father because she wanted to find herself which I thought was more about her needs and less about theirs.

She wasn't horrible but she could definitely be self centered and shrewish at times. It was very clear that she loved her kids, though.

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Very well put and what I oafishly was trying to say.

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You said it just fine.

Thanks for the kind comment.😃

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One of her bad moments (at least to me) was when she freaked out because she was turning 36. It seems a little self-involved to turn your 36th birthday into a crisis. As I recall, she also had trouble with turning 40, and then she had another breakdown on the day that Barbara and Mark announced their engagement.

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I didn't really freak out, but I had a little bit of 'crisis' feeling when I turned 36. I don't know why, that just seems like sort of a watershed age for some people, maybe women especially.

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I was only 7 when the show premiered, I always wondered why her marriage failed. I recall once touching scene where Barbara emotionally tells her mom how much the divorce caused her emotional pain.

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Self-centered, shrewish mothers are the worst.

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Mothers who make martyrs of themselves, and self-sacrifice to the point they wind up not having anything left over for themselves aren't much better. And they usually are shrewish and bitter underneath, themselves; they just learn to hide it behind a mask.

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I'd rather have a self-sacrificing mother who hides her feelings till a line gets crossed versus one who whines aloud about every problem as it comes along like Ann. Typical Italian.

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Typical Italian.


Gee, generalize much?

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I'm Italian and laughed at that comment. Generalizations are usually true! I swear PC is just ruining everything.

I grew up in an Italian household that was always arguing and ranting and raving about something. If I had a buck for each time my grandpa said about my grandma "She's on the warpath tonight", I'd be a millionaire lol. It's just how they are and the reason why we hardly ever get ulcers because we just let everything out!

I find absolutely nothing wrong with saying "Typical Italian". It's an accurate comment imo and nothing wrong with it.

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My X hubby was Italian and I have two sons who are half Italian!!! I know what you are saying! LOL!!!

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Typical Italian???

Jesus H. ...that was a stupid thing to say.

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I had a mother who belittled me and yelled way more than Ann did, and also never hugged me, ever. I always thought Ann was a great mother, and I wished my mother was more like her because she was so affectionate with her girls.

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Agreed. She was self-centered steaming pile of crap, with a really bad haircut. Possibly the most annoying character in the history of mankind.

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So then, I guess you never watched the series MAUDE, or the movie MOMMIE DEAREST?

There are more, but those are the first two that came to mind.

Granted it was a comedy show, but could you imagine having a mother like Lucy in the series I LOVE LUCY? There were later series when her TV kids (characters) were grown, and the Lucy character was much more "grounded" though.


Furthermore, this show did not age well IMHO.
Attitudes have significantly changed over the years since it was made. Women may not yet get completely equal pay (still), but women were EXPECTED to leave their wartime jobs after WWII when the men came home, and simply go back to being "Suzy Homemakers", and love it... After all, the jobs belonged to men who had a wife and family to support! (See what changed? Practically the whole idea of men's and women's roles in life!) Think of WHO'S THE BOSS too, with a macho man as a housekeeper.
BTW, the show was made during the days when a male (men down to young boys) never knew whether to open a door for a woman. Far more often than anyone born after 1990 would ever imagine, doing that would earn you an icy, angry glare, with a face of scorn or disgust, from a women's libber, and sometimes a loud angry tirade about being a male chauvinist pig! These days, the tirades are gone, and the icy glares have turned to occasional suspicious side glances.


As far as "Ann Romano" goes, she did take on a lot of responsibility, (but did take child support too). When "Ed" tried to get out of that deal, (related to a new GF/wife), that little detail was made known. While I never got the chance to watch all of the episodes, I do not remember ever hearing alimony mentioned, (These days alimony is termed "spousal support" to be politically correct. Two more changes...)

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Ann Romano did the best she could with what she knew at the time. Barbara and Julie had the choice to stay with their father in the suburbs instead of following their mom to the city. I do think Ann's initial reason for leaving Ed was weak if i recall correctly and it was something that could've been reconciled with marriage counseling.

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If Ann was such a 'crappy mother' it's doubtful that her two girls would have chosen to uproot themselves and move with her to Indianapolis, rather than stay with their father--who could have provided them with a home where they could have remained in familiar surroundings, and who could have done a lot more materially for them. Nor would they have been as protective of her as they were, if she were such a poor mother to them.

50 Is The New Cutoff Age.

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