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Favorite Detective Harris line


Freeze honky or I'll blow you to Milwaukee.
Hey Lug.
He tried to sneak out this tiny little window.
Dietrich was totally wrong.
Yes, you've got gum chewing up to a art form.

Spenser with an "S", like the poet.

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"Want me to check him for prior forkings"? I loved when Harris would laugh at his own jokes, sometimes agitating Barney a little.

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When he comes out in drag and looks amazing - everyone's jaws hang open.
Harris: "I want to look good, Barney... but not better."

When he and Nick have made a bet - which one can hold off of practicing their vices (Harris = smoking, Yemana = gambling) for the longest time.
Barney: "I bet they make it."
Harris: "I bet they don't."
Yemana: "You're on!"
Harris: "You lose." [lights up smoke]

One of his many referrals to the patients at Bellevue.
Harris: "Bellevue, this is Harris we have a customer for the enchanted kingdom."

The classic hash brownies episode.
Barney: "Here, take these down to the lab; have 'em analyzed, fast."
[Harris takes a bite out of a brownie]
Barney: "Not THAT way!"
Harris: "Uh... I think they got hash in 'em, Barn."
Barney: "Hash?"
Harris: "I mean that I can tell by the way I FEEL."
Barney: "I want you to go home until you feel better."
Ron: "Hey, I'll go home... but I ain't never gonna feel better!"
Barney: "And I don't want you driving a car; take the bus."
Harris: "Okay... wait. If I can't drive a car... [laughing] "I better not try to drive a BUS!"

Telling the story of an amazing arrest Fish made.
Yemana: "Then Fish runs in the alley and he leaps over us like one of those, what do you call those things in Africa that run and leap in the air?"
Detective Ron Harris: "Slaves."

Harris talking in his sleep.
Harris: "Get out of the bathroom, man!" and "I wanna BE somebody!"

I couldn't find the exact quote but at one point Harris's clothes are wrecked and he has to wear some of Barney's clothes he kept around for emergencies.
Harris: [checking himself out] "I really DO look good in anything!"

See my published polls here: http://www.imdb.com/list/ls063373675

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His euphemisms for Bellvue were always hilarious. My favorite one for the ambulance taking away the more 'disturbed' prisoners to there was 'the disoriented express'.

50 Is The New Cutoff Age.

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I ain't livin' in the Bronx! The zoo is in the Bronx! Animals live in The Bronx!

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From the episode "Tunnel"

Suspect Leroy Kreutzer is covered with dirt and is coughing and trying to knock the dirt off of his clothes next to Harris.

Harris (looking disgusted): Hey cut that out!

Leroy Kreutzer: I've got dirt in my throat; what am I supposed to do?

Harris: Swallow it




Jesus is the Son of God and my Lord and savior. Pretty cool.

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"Starry Night Productions."

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This is not the approximate dialogue; it was something like this:

DIETRICH: Happy anniversary.
HARRIS: What anniversary?
DIETRICH: We've been together for one year.
HARRIS: We [meaning the rest of the squad room] were already here.

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