Why? Reasons are not explained


I have so many questions..

1) Why did God want Arthur to search for the Holy Grail, especially since God seems to already have it (so he can show it to Arthur)? Why would an omnipotent being even need some lowly human to do his bidding, when he could just manifest zillion grails without even snapping fingers?

In essence; what is the reason or point for this whole endeavor, what will the Grail be used for? And after Arthur gets it, his existence has no purpose anymore? What happens afterwards?

2) What would God do with the Holy Grail, if Arthur was able to fetch it for him?

3) If God would let Arthur keep the grail, what would Arthur do with it?

4) Why does God give Arthur this quest as 'blessing', when he has no intention of letting Arthur actually FIND the grail, and lets french douches just boss Arthur around and basically bully him? Is this God's will or are the french going against God's will, and if so, why is there no smiting happening?

5) Why does modern police get involved with an ancient historical quest?

6) Why does modern police have more power than God, or in other words, why doesn't God ever HELP Arthur, if that whole Holy Grail quest is his purpose?

7) Surely God can see into the future (or he's pretty powerless and not even near omniscient), so He should see that Arthur will never get the grail, so why even start the whole quest about it?

8) Aren't there more important and better things to contact human beings for, if you are gonna open the clouds and start barking orders at people? What about ending wars, starvation, cultivating peace and harmony together as human beings? What about taking care of the suffering, homeless, starving, etc.? What about ending animal cruelty? What about giving humanity pollution-free energy? But no, some cup that he'll never get is somehow more important to make Arthur waste his life on.

I don't get God's reasoning for all this, it makes no sense to waste all this time and energy when he knows nothing will come out of it, and if he's gonna contact humanity by opening the clouds like that, there must be 8 zillion better quests, tasks or messages to convey...

The whole 'Holy Grail' stuff always mystifies me; why do people chase it so much in stories, and what would they do with it if they caught it? It's like a dog chasing a car, might be entertaining to watch it for awhile, but what the heck is a dog going to do with a car once it catches it?

Yeah, yeah, it's a funny, quirky comedy, but I just wish some things were at least explained logically, because so much of this makes no sense and seems like a waste.

Also, why is there a HORSE in the movie, when the whole point of them not having horses was that they couldn't fit it in the budget? So they had budget for ONE horse, why not let Arthur ride it instead of some anonymous murderer (that couldn't be of Arthur's gang, because all Arthur's people's horses were invisible)?

I mean, I am glad they spared the poor horse and used ('using an animal' is just so wrong) the horse sparingly.

Still, why even HAVE it, and why be so inconsistent with the horse stuff? Did they PLAN to have horses and filmed that scene, and then later realized they don't have the budget, but left it in the movie anyway? The horse makes no sense.

Either have horses, or not have horses, don't try to have it both ways, geez.

Also, they build this whole wooden rabbit without ever discussing the plan until it's ready AND they have already offered it to the french? What? Really? No one was curious? No one asked even one question? This makes no sense, its not realistic whatsoever.

To add, where did they get the power tools in that era? Then again, if it's modern era (as the police scenes show), then why do people live in castles and why is 'King Arthur' even a thing? Why don't we see more modern stuff along the way? Surely 'King Arthur' would have to be used to seeing modern buildings, cars, aeroplanes and such if they really are in the modern era?

How did the vast army, the cops, and other people so easily enter the 'Castle Aargh's perimeter if it was SO hard to find and to get to for Arthur and his knights? Why even go through the whole 'bridge of death' and all, if you can just waltz in there easily or just park yourself to wait in the meadow nearby? Why didn't Arthur go with his army to begin with and avoid all these difficulties?

If Arthur didn't know where his army went, then how can he know exactly where it is at the end and can summon it so easily?

This makes no sense!

Why do they make movies that make no sense. I get it that it's a comedy, but sloppy writing is inexcusable regardless. 'Comedy' shouldn't mean 'anything goes and there's no logic, reason, or sense to anything'.

This makes this movie completely random, when it could have had coherence and believability, now it has exactly zero of each.

It's funny, but it could've been funny AND good movie in other ways as well.

reply

Why do they do the whole coconut stuff anyway? What does it help? What do you do if your coconut guy dies or you have no one to do that for you? Do you go 'by foot' or just imagine the 'clip-clop' sounds?

Why didn't the guy that got crushed by the wooden rabbit not even try to get away? Why do people have such poor survival instincts in movies? No one ever does what anyone realistically would - to try to actually run away from the danger, avoid it, sidestep, SOMETHINg. No, just stand and scream.. sigh.

Why is that woman smashing that cat against the fabric? It doesn't seem like it does a lot of damage (a very weak swing), and the cat doesn't even die. So what's the point? If you're gonna damage, injure or kill an animal, at least do it properly instead of just uselessly torturing the animal forever. I mean, I hate cats and all, but that's just not logical that anyone would do that.

Why so many cartoon butts in the movie? Did anyone -ever- find that funny?

Why does the 'science guy' keep lifting the metallic visor (or whatever it is) of his helmet? He should be able to see through it, and if he can't, why even have it? Makes NO SENSE!

Why name a castle 'Anthrax'?

How would teenagers end up living in a castle without men or boys whatsoever? What was the situation that made that happen, how? How can they survive in that era (or whatever era it is) without any men? Why make 'exciting underwear' if there are no men around to manipulate with it? I mean, obviously they were not lesbians, so none of this makes sense again.

What kind of beacon can you make that's that big, 'grail-shaped' (why?) and what kind of light source can you use in a stormy weather that makes it light up like that? How can Zoot do it without anyone noticing?

If there are twins living in the castle, why would they wear the same clothes? Wouldn't they wear something differnt every day just for practical purposes?

Where do the women of that castle get food, shelter, firewood?

reply

Who forages for them, or do they go to the forest to collect sticks every day in their 'exciting underwear' and have no problems with it, and no one ever sees them? No villages nearby a gigantic castle? No one knows about this castle? None of the girls/women ever wonder around the area and find some men to bring back to the castle? What? Really? Huh?

Where did the girls get their 'basic medical training'? Who taught them?

If the three-headed knight is so easily duped and escaped, and if they bicker that much, how can they EVER be an effective force in killing anyone or anything? How do they even survive? Was there really toothbrushing in that era? Why doesn't the other guy ever brush the middle guy's teeth - does he want tooth rot right next to his own head?

How does sir Galahad (I get the names confused, so excuse me if this is wrong) teleport from 'running in place far, far away' to the castle entrance instantly?

Why did the 'feminine son' start to sing, but then never actually sang the way he was supposed to? Wasn't there a story he was supposed to tell? What happened with that?

Why would Camelot people be so cruel that they'd keep someone chained to the wall in their basement? Come on, that's just inhuman. Weren't these supposed to be people of virtue that other people could look up to? And yet they act worse than romans. How can they be so happy at the same time, singing that song, while being so cruel?

Where does Arthur get the Viking ship??

How does the 'Death Bridge' man teleport Arthur, his companion and the fire into the forest from some cave?

What the heck is that hairy hand we see in the book scenes?

If Arthur and his story is just a legend, how can a famous historian be telling the story as if it's a documentary about actual history?

Why doesn't Arthur listen to the politically knowledgeable people and take in their good ideas about how to arrange a 'governmental system' that respects people's rights?



reply

Why would saying 'ni' hurt anyone? It simply means 'two' in japanese. Is this a 'clever' way of saying the curse version of 'feces' so people would feel bad?

Why is the boss of the 'knights, who say 'ni'' so tall, and yet have such short hands?

Why are the common people so interested in mud and useless water bashing? To make Arthur look more like some kind of 'royalty'?

Why would Arthur be so toxic and hostile towards someone that's just making a good point? In reality, he WAS oppressing and repressing Dennis.

Did the name 'Dennis' exist in Arthur's time? Not that the eras are even consistent anyway..

When you lose an arm, you are going to suffer so much blood loss, pain, disorientation, panic, psychological pain, you are definitely not going to be able to have (or continue) a swordfight afterwards.

How the heck does this not even faze the 'black knight'? I mean, the LEAST he should experience is complete imbalance now that his two-handed sword has to be handled with only one hand, and the body weight he has trained with and is used to, is now gone, as his body has became not only lighter, but the balance point has radically shifted.

And he's just able to INSTANTLY adjust to this??

How does he not faint from the blood loss alone after losing TWO arms? He should definitely not be moving about on two feet after something like that. Not only is it an enormous shock to the physical system, it's a pretty major shock psychologically and emotionally, that would make him AT LEAST think about his future. There's NO WAY he could just keep fighting like nothing happened!

Why does Robin keep minstrels with him when all they do is mock him and lead him into trouble? Why not just fire them? What use are they to him?

Why even try to do the job he's doing if he's such a coward and so afraid? Shouldn't he be working in a stable somewhere? What the heck is he doing trying to do things he obviously doesn't dare to?

reply

It's like trying to do the job of a skydiving instructor without ever having the guts to even go inside an airplane, let alone jump down from one. And yet continuing to try to be a skydiving instructor, KNOWING you'll never enter any airplane, and definitely will never jump out of one.

MAKES NO SENSE!!

I have more questions, but I grow weary.

Funny comedy, but a really badly thought-out movie and incoherent, rambling, random story where 'anything goes' (and thus there are no stakes)

reply

You have sucked all the enjoyment out of life.

reply

Every one of your questions will be answered if you pay close attention to Robin's minstrels.

reply

1. God was showing Arthur a replica He got at Harrods.
2. Brew up a nice cuppa and relax on a Sabbath after a busy week of cosmos-making.
3. Hopefully not pray in front of it. "O Lord," this and "We are not worthy," that.
4. Arthur and his knights represent the different sins. Galahad wants to succumb to lust, for instance (Castle Anthrax), Lancelot is wrath (the wedding), and Arthur is pride ("Bloody peasant!") Their sins prevent them from achieving the Grail, which is symbolized by the French Taunter keeping them from entering the metaphoric paradise of the castle. The insults are the corrective strokes of a good birch switch delivered by penitents - the tribulations of Purgatory that will cleanse them - and the cow represents the folly of being silly when one should really be pious and lighting candles and wearing robes.
5. The historian in the modern era was murdered by a medieval knight, so it only makes sense for the police to get involved.
6. You want God to stop Scotland Yard from doing their work? He'd get done for obstructing a police officer in the execution of his duties!
7. He *can* see into the future, but sometimes He forgets to, especially if He's had a late night - staying up to binge Mad Men or Fawlty Towers or something like that.
8. Ending wars? What's the fun of that?

As to why people chase the Grail...? Beats me. Here it's clearly Divine Orders, so you can't just bugger off in the opposite direction - that's how people wind up spending three days' holiday inside a giant fish. In-general, though, people are strange. Goodness knows, a lot of people spend their lives hording money, and that's just a bunch of numbers in a bank computer.

They had horses. You can hear the hooves. They have to dismount when they get skittish near the killer rabbit's lair.

Bedevere probably just explained the rabbit plan poorly.

I think it was divine will that gave them the power tools.

It's not in the modern era, it's in Dark Ages Britain, but the police had to go there because that was where all the suspects lived.

The army was able to follow Arthur at a discrete distance, and they could cross the Bridge of Death freely after the Keeper was flung off of it.

Arthur did know where his army was; you have to know these things when you're king, you know.

reply

What the hell is your deal, anyway? Some extra annoying branch of autism?

reply

Ha!

reply

From what I've read, #5 was literally a case of them writing themselves into a corner and not being able to come up with a better ending, so they just cut off the story in an absurd way.

reply

There is no statute of limitations for murder, you know. Frank will be mourned by many.

reply

And what's the deal with Airplane Peanuts?

reply

Explaining humour to Americans is useless

reply