You are right, this film has an unrealistic touch, although I think surreal is the wrong word since it is not dreamlike in any way.
Fassbinder was not only influenced by Godard but mainly by the German theater scene. You need to understand how much he is influenced by Bertolt Brecht to understand what he doing with his actors. What you feel is unrealistic is, in my opinion, mainly due to the acting. As Brecht believed, actors do not fuse with their characters, they rather stand next to them and use them as models for types of people in our society. That being said, many of the characters have a strong moral position in the film but don't necessarily feel as if they could really exist. The same counts for the two protagonists. As touching and socially relevant their actions and words might be, they are not really realistic.
It becomes even more obvious if you are a German native speaker. Although the language and the use of words seems to be very much that of the working class, there is an overemphasized poetry of simplicity that feels real and absolutely unreal at the same time.
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