Favourite lines..?


Of course, with a series as classic as this, there are too many to mention. I'd like to see the one with the most votes though.

Although 'Pink Carnations' as an episode doesn't feature among the message board's 'most favourite episode' perhaps one line in there is one of the best.

Rigsby, after expecting to meet a lady who said she's in her 'late 'twenties' in a lonely hearts ad (Who eventually turns out to be Miss Jones!) makes mistaken identity after mistaken identity on this score then gets tapped on the shoulder by the excellent but OLD 'battleaxe', Joan Sanderson. On clocking her he remarks: "Cor blimey! When you said late 'twenties, I didn't know you meant 1920's!" PRICELESS! (He then even carried on to say: "I'm surprised you didn't wait for it to go dark!")

Another one in 'Stage Struck' is where Rigsby shows his homophobic attitudes.
Alan: "We're in more enlightened times, Rigsby, parliament has made it (Homosexuality) legal". To which Rigsby remarks: "Yeah, I'm not surprised with that lot ... we're lucky they didn't make it compulsory!"

And in the one with 'supposed' dead chap, Osborne, the trio (Alan, Phillip and
Rigsby) are carping on about death.

Alan: "I'm thinking about having my body frozen - they can do that you know, freeze you then await the advance of medical science." (To cure you of what may have caused your death).

Rigsby:"Oh yeah, and who'll be in charge of the funeral arrangements -'BIRD'S EYE'!"

(Same episode) - not word for word, words to the effect:

Rigsby: "my uncle had a grand funeral, laid out like Lenin's tomb he was and he looked good - mind you, he'd been at Skegness the week before - DID HIM THE WORLD OF GOOD!"

Same episode again, this time talking about after life:

Alan: "We got in touch via a medium to find out where my (dead) uncle had put his money..."
Rigsby:"Did he get in touch ... did he say what IT was like?"
Alan:"Yeah, he spoke to us... but he said he couldn't stand all the sex and violence..."
Rigsby:"What do you mean...heaven's not like THAT?!"
Alan:"No he wasn't in heaven ... HE WAS A RABBIT ON SALISBURY PLAIN!"

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I've been to see Dr Zhivago.

Oh yeah, what's wrong with you?


"What are you, some kind of doomsday machine, boy?"

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Rigsby to Alan: "You've been here six months and the brand name's still on your bar of soap."

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From 'Pink Carnations' -

Miss Jones: 'Well Mr Rigsby, some men have got it and others don't have it but, you do have it...'

Rigsby (sounding slightly exasperated): 'The trouble is Miss Jones, I just don't get much chance to use it...!'

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From 'That's My Boy' -

(Baby Crying after Phillip peeped over the cot)
Rigsby (cooing) "It's alright, it's alright, the dark gentleman didn't mean it. No no no. He comes from a hot country and he has to be heat resistant like the non-stick pans"


Rossiters delivery of that line cracks me up every time.

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"Oh I'm Sorry, Did I Break Your Concentration?"

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'I AM the landlord y'great pudding!'
'Goodbye Ragsby....'
'Yes get lost....(picks up the loudhailer) RIGSBYYY!!!!

The bit about compulsary homosexuality is hilarious! Still appropriate today in my view!

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When the vicar visits and says 'examine your conscience Mr Rigsby. Have we left undone those things which we ought to have done?' and Rigsby says 'I was wondering when we'd get the commercial'.

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a dimly lit street and a ten ton lorrie
...'slight disadvantages to your pigmentation'

'was on ration then, been on rations ever since'

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Another one: Miss Jones: 'You know, some men have got it and some haven't and you have definitely got it Mr Rigsby'.

Rigsby: 'The trouble is, I don't get much chance to use it, Miss Jones!'

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