charles ingalls new years resolutions

i talked to him and he said these were hsi resolutions

1)to walk in public every day of the year with his shirt off for at least 15 minutes

2)only use cash on a barrell

3)to only get his ribs broken every other week this year instead of every week like last year

4)to get chris the handyman to get caroline pregnant top give him a son since charles cant

5)to get edwards to get sober

6)to always have coffee and sugar

7)to play his violin at least twice this year

8)to get miss beadle so wet she jumps him and they have sex

9) to start liking tea so he can develop a better relationship with the preacher

10) to become the doctors assistant