fake LHOP episode


(Early morning)

(charles rises to scrambled eggs, tomatoes and bacon on the table. charles smiles takes a whiff)"mmmmmmmmm fresh home made breakfast. can a man gt any luckier"

(laura walks in) ugh eggs again!!cant we ever have pancakes! the olesons have pancakes 4x a week. and all we get is eggs

(charles slaps laura)
charles: now you listen hear child, dont you ever disrespect your ma like that agin. you eat your eggs or let your sister carrie eat them

(Carrie ssmiles) "gooogaga bbaaa daaa reeeeee teee"

charleS: see she appreciates your ma's cooking"

(laura runs out of the house crying_
caroline: LAURA! (chases after her, but charles stands up grabs caroline by the arm) charles: let her go dear. shes gotta learn it the hard way

mary: i dont mind eggs. their good for you! ill eta them every day!

charles: ok brown noser shut up and eat your eggs


(charles walks to work and runs into the doc)
doc: charles ! how you doing
charleS: good doc just about to go to work as usual. sun up to sun down just to scrape the barrell.
doc: well listen charles you still owe me 5 dollars for taking out marys tonsills
charleS: listen here doc i aint got the money! sorry we arent all rich like the olesons!
doc charle si never said that
charles : i know what you meant! know look im running late. trying to get me fired now you country doctor!
(charles rips off his shirt and starts running, the doc gives a shocked look)

(charles gets to the mill) hanson: charles. you late again. that is 5 days in a row you late
charles: i know mr hanson and im sorry. the doc stopped me
hanson: yes he told me he looking for you. why you no pay your bill?
charles: becaus enot all of us are rich like you , you lwo paying dirty rotten sob(charles takes hammer and slams it against the building)
hanson: charles i let you go. im sorry, you a good worker but your attitude"
charleS: "huh like youll last 1 week without me!"

(charles spends all day walking then comes up with a plan)
(charles talking to himself) charles: yea thats what ill do. ill break in the olseons and steal the money hehehe

(11:00pm)

charles sneaks into olesons mercantile(shirt off), and takes all their money, he runs home and surpises caroline who has been looking for him(the next day charles tells caroline they have to go, she doesnt understand and charles grabs her and says DO IT OR ILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT)

AS THEY PACK TO LEAVE, NELS hanson, teh doc all show up. Charles gets nervous. Hanson tells charles he saw him sneaking out with the money

nels apologizes to charles that he is rich and charles is poor

nels says" keep 50% of what you got charles"

teh doc says ," dont worry charles ill never charge you again"

charles cries and says "what a group of friends."

laura runs home and says "mom we can have eggss everyday its ok"

charles takes out handful of money and says "half-pint well be eating pancakes from now on"

eveyrone laugh and charles smiles and winks at camera

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Damn! You’re one hell of a script writer Jason. Had the producers kept you on the payroll this show would still be going 😉

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I literally laughed out loud several times reading that! Great stuff!

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