Michael and Kay’s complicated relationship

Yeah, that marriage has bothered many over the years. In real life, someone in Michael's position would never even think of marrying someone like Kay. This was the only thing in the book (and therefore movie) that was totally and completely unrealistic.

When he was first dating Kay, Michael was very rebellious and wanted nothing to do with the family "business" so it made sense that he dated her and he really did love her. After killing the guy that had his father shot, being shipped off to Sicily and then for his Sicilian wife - who he absolutely adored - to be murdered, changed him dramatically. He became very hardened and wanted revenge.

When he came back to the US he was a completely different person and the only thing I can think of regarding Kay was that he knew she once loved him and that she was a vulnerable type of person. He had lost the woman he deeply loved and he didn't want to have to go through dating a stranger, trying to find another wife, when Kay was still unmarried and he knew her already. She was just easier. He was a broken and hardened man and yes, all of this was very unfair to Kay and, in real life, as I mentioned earlier, it wouldn't have happened.

Does Kay ever know about Apollonia? The film never addresses it.

Okay, so, while it doesn't make a lot of practical sense, there are a couple reasons why Michael did it, I think.

1) He's still clinging to his past. He hasn't let go. The "good side" is still fighting it out. Throughout the film, Michael slides into the evils of Mob life, but it's not instant. He's closer all the time - every scene - but he is, subconsciously (or sub-conscience?) trying to hold on to his humanity through Kay.

2) He was in love with Kay. That kind of feeling doesn't just go away. Italy connected him with his family and his roots (and his Family...) but it was also Utopian. It was kind of a dream or interlude that didn't exist. The bomb was a wake-up call and he goes back. He's changed. He's more Mafioso now, but that doesn't erase who he was before (instantly) and he still does love Kay, I think, even thought they're incompatible.

3) He's not thinking of "compatible". Love, sex...these things cut logic and reason down by the knees. Michael is neither the first nor the last guy to make a stupid social or political move for a romantic or erotic one.

4) "Outsider" is a bit blurry for Michael. He's aware of "in/out" when it comes to the family, but there's always a bit of a blur there because of Tom. Tom's a brother. He's not "in", but he's in. So Michael probably has some versions of "in" that allow a blind spot here that wouldn't be apparent to the others.

It's worth noting as well that Kay's role is slightly different in the book. Kay and Mama Corleone have a conversation about how to deal with a mobster husband. It's touching and chilling, but I think it makes some extra sense of why Michael might reach out to Kay. Again, hearkening back to my first point: it's kind of about salvation. Below is a quote from the book, but it's literally the last line, so if you don't want spoilers, get out now...










"Then with a profound and deeply willed desire to believe, to be heard...[Kay]said the necessary prayers for the soul of Michael Corleone."

Why would a young well educated woman who just wants a normal life sit in waiting for some mob guy? The fact he had to go into hiding and could not contact her in any way for 2 years is enough reason to find somebody else. Then he shows up, admits he has been back in the USA for a whole year and wants to marry her?

Unless she was secretly turned on by the whole thing or chasing a more affluent lifestyle it makes no sense. Finding out that Michael was married while in Siciliy and his wife got blown to bits from a car bomb might be a small turn off also. OMG!

In Goodfellas we get an explanation. Karen admits it turned her on and later she talks about how Henry's work provides them with the "little extras". No explanation provided here.

Michael was selfish at his core. That’s why he married Kay and dragged her into the mafia life even though he loved her.