Here is how I could picture it. Fritz I could see being a metrosexual and Winston as his sugar mama. She is well aware that he is a skirt chaser but she is to in love with the idea of being a "cougar" (or a fox in her case.) I could see the tea partiers and fox news pundits portrayed as pigs and sheep. Sarah Palin as a cow (as well as Bristol.) Im still debating if Obama would still be portrayed as a crow.
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That could work. Maybe the Fox News pundits could be turtles, you know, because they're so old and slow?
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Nah. Not the way you've done it.
In 2012 or thereabouts, Fritz is living in a commune near Cape Cod, but not actually on Cape Cod. What little money he makes is from poetry readings and lectures at colleges and universities in the northeast, plus a tiny pittance in royalties from his few published works. When he has a few pennies to rub together, he visits his son in New York. When he has a few more pennies, he visits his son's ex-wife in Amsterdam, where she continues her lifelong career as a US diplomat.
The closest Fritz has ever come to having an actual full-time job was in 1996, when Cornell hired him as a part-time guest lecturer for two semesters in a row, but then didn't pick him up as a tenure-track associate professor. But they almost did.
Fritz still drinks and smokes dope on increasingly rare occasions. When he drinks, he thinks his own poetry isn't really very good, and feels secretly ashamed about that. When he smokes dope, he thinks his poetry is damn near fantastic, though he's not quite sure what he really meant when he wrote it. More objective literary critics think he's better than average as a poet and critic.
He secretly despises Kerouac but will never admit it publicly; the most he will say is, "in the sixties and early seventies, we had more fun in one weekend than those guys had in their entire lifetimes." He cringes when a university student points out that he's paraphrasing a line stolen from "Parting Glances," and refuses to acknowledge ever having seen "Parting Glances."
His son, Fritz Junior, is the horny metrosexual. By day, an investment advisor to politically liberal clients, but who never actually sets foot near the stock exchanges, he goes slumming among Occupy Wall Street because he's trying to figure out how much he sympathizes with them and how much he doesn't, and also, of course, because he wants to get laid. His parents (Fritz Junior's mom is never mentioned; the implication is, she ceased to be a part of the picture early in Fritz Jr.'s life) never taught him how to smoke dope, or much about acting cool when you know you're not. So there are some embarrassing complications when the OWS leaders and assorted hoi-polloi start trying to teach Fritz Junior about things he doesn't understand at all. Somewhere along the way, it is revealed that Fritz Junior thinks Jerry Garcia was a baseball player.
Further complications ensue when, while all this OWS stuff is going on, Fritz Junior's ex-wife sends the kittens home to the US for the summer, as per their joint custody agreement. That's when Fritz Junior meets Fredericka, when he interviews him/her for a nanny position.
Fritz Junior almost gets roped into a same-sex marriage with Fredericka, who first presents himself to Fritz as a biological female (his disguise is very good,) then as a pre-operative transsexual, then as a trannie who's changed his/her mind and decided "why bother with actually getting the operation?" Fritz Junior never actually has sex with Fredericka, but he thinks he maybe did, on at least two occasions, when he was coming home from slumming at OWS, and drunk out of his mind, and still unaware that "she" was really a he.
The idea of asking his dad to help with the kittens never even occurs to Fritz Junior. His dad, the original Fritz, finally steps in and saves the day all around, with the assistance of some of his crow friends who still remember him from his Harlem-slumming days, and with a little awkward soul-searching and hand-wringing on the part of everybody except the kittens, who remain blissfully unaware that there is any real conflict in their world.
... Except for the oldest kitten, a 6-year old female, who reads at a fourth-grade level and is already starting to glom onto post-modern feminism. but with very little understanding thereof. She also spends way too much time on the internet, as do you and I, or you wouldn't be reading this sentence.
Get R. Crumb to co-write the script. Don't let Ralph Bakshi come anywhere near it. Yeah, I know, this version of Fritz is closer to Bakshi's version than it is to Crumb's. That's why we can't let Bakshi anywhere near it.
"I don't deduce, I observe."
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um....they still do show scooby doo both old and new episodes. i freakin love scooby doo! fritz was good but scooby was my childhood dammit.
"Hating on haters is a form of Hatin!"
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in the modern one Fritz hosts a blog, posts revenge porn, cooks meth, and is HIV positive.
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