Things I learned from 'Villain'
- Richard Burton's idea of foreplay is to punch you in the stomach.
- Telephone boxes are placed where nobody would actually need to use them.
- If you're going to commit a robbery, do it on a newly built road that hasn't been opened to other traffic yet.
- If you need some tough guys for a robbery, get a man with chronic ulcer, a old gent with grey hair and a bloke who looks like Lionel Blair.
- If you are robbing a wages clerk, don't do it calmly with your shotgun or revolver. Instead, shoot some Jif lemon in his face. Only use the shotgun to threaten a man well out of firing range.
- All seventies gangsters drive Jags.
- If you're telling a slag to get out, remind her to take her shopping with her.
- Members of Parliament have sufficient influence to let criminals go free but can't pick up girls without the help of dangerous gangsters.
- Dangerous gangsters will not hurt you if you have a neighbour's dog with you.