What about you??????

I read this somewhere:
"The three characters are terribly civilized about the whole thing, perhaps too civilized."

what do you think about it?
where they civilized or TOO civilized?



They were very civilized. Many times to the point of being too civilized. They never quite asserted themselves(Except for Bob).

He kinda kisses like an adolescent


That's what Roger Ebert wrote in his review on "SBS"; He says the main characters portrayed in this movie are "too civilized", so much that he thinks that neither Dr. Hirsh nor Alex really cared for Bob. And IMO he is right.

And that's the only part where I'm agree with Ebert's review.


I haven't read Ebert's review--but I can't believe he'd be that far off. One of the points of the film is that everyone (the two principal actors)--ACTS so civilized, and tries to feel civilized, but underneath (especially the woman)--they are not happy campers. They are both in love, and nobody wants to share the person they love with someone else, at least not 50/50! There has to be the constant feeling that if he really loved me at all---why does he need the other?

When she knows for certain that Bob is going to New York, a lot of this comes out. She says a lot of things to him about Don't expect me to be waiting for you
when (if) you get back--and perhaps most telling, something like "people say that something is better than nothing; well, sometimnes, nothing is better than something!" She also does a lot of crying (throughout the film), and, although she tries, cannot help digging at Bob for his feelings for, and the amount of time he spends with Hirsh. (some of this is mitigated by her making toucan-faces back at the toucan which Bob has--so thoughtfully--left her). Hirsh never grouses, but manages to convey that he, too, would like more than half a Bob. And though he says, at the end, that "I AM happy...except that I miss him," one feels that in his own way (shall we say masculine, rather than feminine? Maybe; maybe not)--he will miss him a LOT.

One also thinks some things about Bob: perhaps he's just not at the point in his life (it might be past, coming, or perhaps never to come) at which he can commit himself to one person. There are plenty of people like that, or, people who--at a certain time in their lives--are like that.

It seems to me like a monogamous film without monogamy. The only one who is happy (except that, in spite of the efforts of the man and woman in his life, he DOES feel pressure, from the feelings of the other two) is Bob.

Finch's and Jackson's acting is superlative, and Head (any relation to Edith?) does all right.

"Thus began our longest journey together." To Kill a Mockingbird


I think that all the characters realize that throwing tantrums or engaging in high drama wouldn't change anything, and wouldn't even particularly make them feel any better. Both Alex and Daniel have made their feelings pretty clear to Bob, and he (ultimately) makes it clear to them what his feelings are about being tied down (vis a vis his affections for them both). I suppose that one definition of "civilized" might be "accepting the inevitable with good grace," and that's what Alex and Daniel show. (The opposite, I suppose, is the woman's outburst at the dinner party, which embarrass everyone, and humiliates her, to no good effect.)

BTW to twistedude: Murray head is the older brother of Anthony Head, he of the coffee commercials, the Rocky Horror stage play, and Buffy's Watcher duties.