Why this film works

I've avoided the existing thread about why Minnie would not choose someone like Seymour for the simple fact that such a view point totally misses the point being made here. Minnie believes in the celluoid version of love we are spoonfed as moviegoers, and where has it led her? She's a middle-aged woman who is in love with an abusive, married man! Obviously the guy had charm (hence the comment she makes to him about his not being the man she fell in love with) and seemed to have the characteristics of (so shoot me) a matinee idol.

This movie works, and the relationship is believable, because Minnie KNOWS the idealistic love she's been socialized to look for doesn't exist, yet she still WANTS it. That is why she repeatedly makes reference to Seymour being wrong, why she dons her sunglasses even when the mothers join them for a pre-wedding dinner: she can't get past that IDEAL, the bill Seymour doesn't anywhere fit. Still, Seymour pulls at her, he makes her laugh, he understands her desire for real romance (unlike her miserable blind date, who acknowledges the fact but doesn't know how to romance a woman), yet she's fighting this.

Okay, argue it's a story of opposites attract, but that doesn't seem the main point Cassavetes was trying to make. Love comes in all shapes and forms, when we least expect it, no matter whether we want it or not. And notice how in the ending "home movie", Minnie is smiling, clearly happy, has found what she was looking for. It seems a clear message that Cassavetes is trying to make: don't fight it when it comes knocking at your door, open yourself up to the possibilities, look where it can lead you...