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100 things you learned from Santa Claus in Comin' to Town


This thread shows up on most boards and I didn't see one here so I thought this one would be fun to do.

1. Apparently the magic beans used to make the reindeer fly also makes them immortal

2. Burgermeister and his guards can't tell the difference between an empty stocking and one that is filled

3. That changing is as easy as "putting one foot in front of the other"

4. If Santa had his ay, he would deliver toys more often. He can't though because the demand is too high

5. Even though they live in what seems to be the mountains of Europe, Santa's best friend is a penguin

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6) Don't ever ask Santa why he does things. He'll snap at you.

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7. Don't get fat after marriage or your husband will choose your anniversary to fly around the world. Sure he says it's to give toys to the children, but we know it's to escape his obese wife

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That's a great one rship1

8. Winter and Santa are apparently the only 2 people in the world that can made a snowball and spy on anyone in the world.

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9) Elves are immortal; their mothers, not so much.

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10) You can tell Santa to call you "Winter" for 50+ years straight and he'll still mess up and call you "Mr. Warlock"

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11) Santa can make the best toys in the world, but he can't make his wife a damn Stairmaster.

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12] Children wash their socks outdoors, in Winter, in the middle of town
13] The fountain in Sombertown's town square apparently pumps antifreeze

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14) A tree monster’s bark is worse than its bite.

15) When an icy heart is melting it sounds like flushing a toilet.

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16) When mailmen dance they can freeze time and stay in the air for a second before falling back down.

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17. It’s not considered insane to painstakingly craft children's toys and then chuck them out of your back window.

18. Children washing their stockings in the fountain of a town-square tend to have either straight or woolly grey hair (and are also not particularly cute).

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19. There are still children who think Rudolph was one of Santa's original reindeer, even though this is contradicted by every single piece of evidence known about Rudolph.

20. When constructing a TV special based around a popular Christmas song, it is possible that a song will emerge ("One Foot in Front of the Other") within that special which upstages the original song for the purposes of promoting that special.

21. It is possible to sing an original, iconic song despite (Mickey Rooney) barely being able to carry a tune.

22. When trying to show someone how easy it is to change their entire outlook from bad to good, make up 2 verses of a brand new song, and when they try to ad-lib a third verse, make sure to constantly interrupt them throughout their verse.

23. If you have created tree monsters designed to ward off trespassers, Willy Willow and Peter Pine are excellent choices for their names.

24. If you are trying to hide from someone, make sure to use a secret identity that only they would know.

25. A Hermit-Warlock will gladly offer his magic in exchange for toys.

26. The ability to grow a beard is not genetic, rather it is determined by your proximity to people who already have a beard.

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Santa is a fat freak.

VADERKENOBIFAN

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27. The Winter Warlock really is a mean and despicable creature at heart.


He who fights and runs away, lives to run away again!

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28. When the Winter Warlock puts his hands together in prayer and asks for 'A little magic, please', the whole forest lights up

29. The Winter Warlock prays, but I'm unsure what he prays to

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30- Local cops won't recognize a wanted criminal when they grow a beard.

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31. When teaching someone to walk, it helps to float through the air, contradicting everything you are saying about 'putting one foot in front of the other.'

Seriously, why does he need reindeer if he can fly without them...

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Kris Kringle was hot as a red haired young man. Nowhere near as hot as Jessica

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I've also noticed that about no. 3, too. Stocking s that are drying on the mantle, and are bulging would make me suspicious.

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32. After Jessica's New World begins, we discover that she and possibly the other members of the town are tripping acid (therein explaining the general madness)

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33. In the North Pole, you can construct a lavish winter castle with nothing but snow, ice and the help of some skilled elves and a penguin.

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34. If you've never ever left your home on a bend by the magical stream where you grew up, the best time to leave and make your way through the Dismal Forest is just as night is falling

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35. Kris Kringle is a dick to hiw wife, making her walk to the North Pole without proper winter attire while he stays all bundled.

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36 It's OK to break laws if you think it's silly.

37 Penguins no longer live in the South Pole. They migrated well north.

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