Best line of the movie?

...this movie has an incredible amount of funny lines - each one cracking me up. "Birdie num num" is a classic -loved the throwing birdseed at the dam bird. "Howdy Partner" is another line with Wild Bill. The opening scenes are a gut buster. Gavin McLoed with his arm up as the million $$ set is detonated before cameras rolling is great. I needed a rol of toilet paper with the caviar scene. "Eeeuw stinks!" It's a classic - I tellya - classic!!!

Good gosh, there are so many very funny lines and a lot of are funny because of the way they are delivered.... here are some that come to mind right away.... (I hope I remember them as accurately as possible)....

In the beginning of the film, the producer is asked who "the foreigner" was who just walked in... he says...
"Oh someone my crazy mixed up wife probably invited!"

I also like the conversation Bakshi has with Wyoming Bill Kelso at the pool table while the cowboy is snuggling with the Italian actress over a cue stick ....

Bakshi: "What is this game you call to get the brightly colored balls in the hole?"
Kelso: "Pool"
Bakshi: "POO?"
Kelso: "Not poo! POOL!"
Bakshi: "Oh, POOO-EL"
Kelso: "That's right!"
Bakshi: "How many people can play this poo-el?"
Kelso: "Oh one or two or whole bunch of people!"

My favorite line in the film is the big producers line as the servants are rescuing the paintings from the chaos...... he spots a portrait of his wife in the arms of a butler and exclaims....

"NOT THAT ONE, YOU IDIOT... just the GOOD stuff!"

Everybody loves "Birdie Num Nums" what can I say? The scene where he gets ahold of the intercom and you hear "Num num num...." is priceless!

birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdy num nums

Bakshi : Do you speak Hindustani ?

...
Michèle : Do you speak French ?
Bakshi : I know one sentence : dans quelle direction se trouve la Tour Eiffel ?

"When would you be available for me to pick up my hat?" (final scene)

"It's like an Indian person painting a moustache and a beard on your ladybirds" (Jumbo the elephant)

"Does that include television sir?" (filming "Extravaganza")

"I shall have to remember that one!" (Hrundi mistakenly thinking the Congressman's description of a robbery was a joke)

"Speak Hindustani?" (to Mrs. Dumphey outside bathroom)

"I would have been dissapointed if you hadn't crushed my hand" (To Wyoming Bill Kelso")

When Bakshi is waiting with this lady by the bathroom door waiting to go to the restroom. Lady is watching him somehow staring at him and both have nothing to say to each other ... Then Bakshi asks the lady:
- Do you speak Hindostani?
- No

That was the funniest part for me. Poor Bakshi wanted to say something to break the ice, but since there was nothing in common between these 2, he did not know what to ask! So he asked "Do you speak Hindostani?" and lady without emotion or changing her face just said "NO".

My personal favorite:

Drunk Blonde "What's in there?" (swirling her drink)
Hrundi "What, in here?"
DB nods
Hrundi motioning "No, there is nothing in here"
DB "Yes there is"
Hrundi, "I don't know - I don't think so" (donning reading glasses, looking) "...no, there is definitely nothing in there. If there were something it's gone away now anyway."
DB, a little louder "But I can SEE it!"
Hrundi (backing up ever so slightly) "What is it?"
DB "I don't know but I don't LIKE it!"

Other favorites:

Divot motions to drunk waiter "Hey waiter, come over here"
(drunk waiter responds)
Divot "See that guitar? Go get it."
Drunk waiter "Get the guitar." (goes staggering off)

Hrundi "In fact there are certain man-eating animals that will eat only the feet, will leave everything else, will not touch one other thing"

Director (after pointing out to Hrundi he's wearing an underwater watch), "Got the time?"
Hrundi looks, then covers watch "Oh my god"
Director "All right, lunch everybody"


General Clutterbuck on phone, after Hrundi pushes button to retract bar and has the prolonged drink/phone exchange with him: "The picture? Yeah, it was going fine until some idiot blew up the set"

Hrundi "...I am merely spectating"

Divot "You're meshugah!"
Hrundi "I am not your sugar."