Favorite MST3K lines


When wathing a movie on the girls back:
Servo: You know if that were William Condrad he could watch a letterbox version.
Crow: If he want to change the channel, does he get another girl?
Joel: I was gonna press pause but...nah.
Crow: Now showing on my back, Morgan Stewarts Coming Home at 2, 4, 6 and 8.

Crow: What's Moneypenny doing there? Isn't that a conflict of interest?

Joel: He's hardly Sean I realize, but he comes cheap.

Cunningham: This is beginning to look pretty serious.
Servo: We better bring Sean in.

Cunningham: That's an order Doctor.
Servo: Yes, well kiss my white Scottish arse.

Cunningham: Come on Doctor, you have a plane to catch.
Neil hitting on a girl: Just a second, there's a reward I must collect.
Crow: Remember your name is NEIL Connery...now get in the plane.

Servo: Operation Double Double 0 Hee Haw

Thair: Will you excuse me for a minute?
Joel: I've been advised I look rediculous.

Thair: I have an important annoucement to make..
Joel: I'm Rue McClanahan.

Maya: You read too many novels by Flemming.
Crow: Jerry Flemming Ian's brother.

Thair: Alternate Vibrators?
Voice: Alternate Vibrators inserted
Crow: HEY...you can't say that.

Crow: Mmmm...what would my brother do?

Cunningham: HELLO...HELLO
Joel: I don't know you say goodbye, I say hello.
Cunningham: We've been cut off.
Crow: Well...I'm not calling HER back.
Cunningham: I'm wondering....
Servo: What do the simple folk do?

Servo: Come on you guys, it's Neil Connery. You should be able to get him.

Franco: Here, take this.
Joel: My grandma gave it to me.
Franco: It's an Anti Magnetic..
Crow: THING
Neil: Can I set the dial?
Franco: Of course you can. Go ahead, we'll cover you
Servo: OK, we'll meet you there.

Joel: It's the Elmer Fudd brigade.

Crow: This is your last chance for whitty remark.
Joel: Well, it's a perfect setup for whitty remark, come on. I mean...
Servo: Come on Doctor. It's no good if you don't retort. Can be anything. Can be about my nose or my stupid aligator suite, ANYTHING.

Servo: Prepare to meet Kali's brother. Near hell.

When Neil hypnotises Cunningham
Cunningham: Yes of course. I must return to London immediately.
Joel: I'm a famous lounge singer.
Crow: I'm Mrs. Norman Maine.
Crow: Ah, this is the part my brother told me about.
Servo: Y..yes I should take my own life. Yes.
Crow: Angel of death....high powered rifle....triangulated crossfire.
Joel: We're having fun at his expense, it's fun.







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"Oh, time for another staredown with NEIL..."

"When I first saw this girl..."
"I heaved!"

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Woman: I'll reward you in a way you can't even imagine.
Servo: I'll leave.

Crow: This looks like the bigfoot video!

Crow: He died listening to Rush!
Joel: 2112

(During the opening credits song)
Servo: He sat on his glasses once.
Joel (I think): He has a deviated septum.
Crow: Is there anything this guy doesn't do?
Joel: Women who sing too much.
Servo: And the men they sing about.

(When Moneypenny gives a thumbs-up)
Servo: Up yours!

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He gets his haircut on tuesdays.


Clown college?! You cant eat that.

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[During the opening title song, which praises all the wonderful qualities of Neil Connery...]
Joel [singing]: He gets his haircut on Tuesdays!
Crow [singing]: He prefers stuffing to potatoes!
Servo [singing]: His favorite movie is Turner and Hooch!

Servo: Now this is one naughty Navy

Neil: Who's been here?
Joel: Uh, someone with a knife

Servo: Wow, what a cigarette!

Woman: Here
Servo: Water it's what's for dinner

Crow: Two words: Bite me

Servo: Lady you are due back on the Space 1999 set

Servo: I'm-a-pickin'
Crow: And I'm-a-killin'

Crow: Am I tripping, Joel?

[As we see a shot of a submarine]
Crow: It's Red October! Hi, Sean!

Joel: Wait a minute it's the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind

Thair: I want to be generous
Joel: [as Thair] So here's a quarter

Joel: Wait a minute he's becoming a part of his Home Entertainment Center

Neil: We gotta get out before the tower blows up
Servo: Oh, oh and I forgot to tell you earlier that there's a tower that's going to blow up in this soon

[As the tower is blowing up]
Joel: [as Neil] Are we gonna die? We're really not that far away

Servo: Sean Connery's brother won't be back again in anything!

"That's a bingo! Is that the way you say it: "That's a bingo?" - Col. Hans Landa

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HEEEEEE sat on his glasses once!



--
Grammar:
The difference between knowing your sh**
and knowing you're sh**.

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Good news, this one's coming to DVD this winter!

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I bought "MST3K Vol. XXV" & I've watched "Operation Kid Brother" the most! I liked these lines:

During the ear-piercin' theme song:
(Servo) "He likes to eat tuna sandwiches!"
(Servo) "Heeee sat on his glasses once!" [sic]
(Joel) "He likes to wear mittens!" [sic]
(Crow) "He's got a deviated septum!"
(Servo) "Heeee is a big fan of Delta Burke!" [sic]
(Joel) "He gets his haircut on Tuesdays!" [sic]
(Crow) "He prefers stuffing to potatoes!" [sic]
(Servo) "Hiiis favourite movie is 'Turner & Hooch'!" [sic]

"Could I have your brother's autograph?"

2 disposable villains die a la Al Jolson:
(Joel) "Mammy!" "Encore! Mammy!"

1 plane flies:
(Crow) "Tora! Just the one."

After the tower blows up, Juan fires his gun to see that its power's returned:
(Joel) "Relax, you hothead! We won!"

"Do I have time to beat up the band?"
"The penguin song! WAA WAA WA WA WAA WAA WAAA!"

(Joel) "Hey it's the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind leading the blind...leading the blind."

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"I am the egg man coo coo cachoo!"

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Joel: Why is she dressed like Barney Rumble?

(when Connery appears with a silly hat)
Crow: It's operation double-o-girl scout

(on the woman with the silly haircut)
Crow: She has handles!

Neil Connery: Any reward?
Joel: Yeah, can I get your brother's autograph?

(when a woman is being tortured with lights and sounds)
Crow: You know, some people cannot wake up no matter how many alarms they set.

(another silly haircut)
Crow: Lady, you are due in the "Space 1999" set.

(on the final fight scene)
Crow: You know, for some reason I liked the fight in the boat better.

And, of course, the hundreds of references to Sean. Hilarious episode.

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