Things I learned from the Ipcress File
If a scientist is in danger of being kidnapped, appoint a detective to take him to the station and one to meet him at the other end - but don't bother having one travel with him.
If a secret serviceman finds out your methods, don't just kill him. Take two weeks to try to brainwash him instead, while leaving him in an easily escapable-from situation.
If you want to tail someone, use a man with distinctively mended spectacles or a black pipe smoking man. They'll blend in effortlessly!
If you want to construct a prison and pretend its in Albania, don't find somewhere in the depths of the country. Do it in the middle of London close to a bus route and a telephone box.
If you want to construct a prison and pretend its in Albania, use the same building that the police have just raided a week before.
Policemen allow visitors into cells with no ID.
If you're scared of cancer, smoke a pipe.
You can't expect someone who's worked in a Lyon's Corner House to take a job cleaning a pub.
American methods of shopping involve lots of collisions with trollies.
If you want tinned mushrooms, they're 10d cheaper on the other shelf.