100 Things We've Learned From Help!

86. The mail service from "the east" to England must be pretty damned fast to get the ring from that day's sacrificial victim to Ringo before the victim's time is up.

85. Ahme isn't filthy in her eastern ways.

84. If you hang around a temple too much, you'll soon be coming home at all hours and painted all colors.

83. George is always getting winked at these days.

82. George is pretty handy to have around if you get kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of a car.


Is it okay to yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse? - Steve Martin

81. George is really badass! So is John!

80. The colors white, blue, green, and brown/red are cool color choices for individual rooms in an apartment complex!

79. It would be a problem for a cult to move a gigantic statue of their god out into the mid-shore of the Bahamas for a sacrificial ritual.

78. Ringo's allergic to peniciline.

77. Didn't any one of the Beatles stop and think to use butter or soap to try to remove the ring?

76. If you see a guy with a chainsaw, just stare at him and get goosebumps.

75. An ice cream vendor is a good cover for a cult.

74. Ringo occasionally attracts attention with the Beatles.

73. An umbrella can be modified into a walkie-talkie, a sword, and a flamethrower.

72. Always make sure when you're using novelty scales that they don't have something like cigar cutters inside.

71. Paul doesn't like having others join in on his humming.

70. Be careful while freshening up in the bathroom.

69. Whenever there's a crazy adventure, it always ends in hilariously insane chaos on the beach or any other tropical climate!

68. The number of cult members in the cat-and-mouse-game with the Fab Four is unbelievable!

67. Luckily, the shrinking serum that was meant for Ringo but got Paul was only temporary.

66. With a ring like that, could you interest the military? No, you could not.

65. The label on the extract of certain orchids is in Eastern.

64. Bhuta doesn't understand a word. Latin yes but that eastern babble no.

63. It's all bunk, disembowel.

62. If 3 of your mates order lager & lime, you'd be advised to go with a margarita.

61. Some scientists are intelligent but have zero common sense.

60. Ahme's outfits and fashion are out of sight!

59. If other bands were on a similar adventure like the Fab Four, it wouldn't be as interesting and wacky as this!

58. Breaking the fourth wall won't sabotage the point of the movie.

57. James Bond, the Marx Brothers, and the Three Stooges met and made friends with eachother to which they decided to play in a band. The result:The Beatles!

56. John wouldn't touch Ringo with a plastic one.

55. Cymbals are apparently edible in the Alps, as demonstrated by George.

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

54. Word up to #55. And also if you notice, George eats almost anything and still look in tip-top shape!

53. Paul is mezmerized by the bellydancer at the Indian resteraunt and he thinks that blood rushes to her stomach.

52. Ahme should know that when holding up a sign that says 'STOP' atop a snowy mountain hill, the skiers/The Beatles OBVIOUSLY can't stop when being chased by religious psychos at high speed.

51. The Alps, Bahamas, and England are beautiful places to be at.

50. Before Rick Allen, there weren't any drummers with one, you know...

49. Removing a finger is like taking out a tooth.

48. The Beatles have keys to the rooms in the studio.

47. You can swim under feet of frozen ice without an oxygen tank or a swimming suit.

46. Everybody of all generations of the Fab Four fans, wants a house like the one the guys had in this movie, fictional or not.

45. Anybody even, English women can be anxious to wave hello to The Beatles.

44. They're still the same as they was before they was.

43. No matter where you ask, White Cliffs of Dover are behind you.

42. You wouldn't want to go in with a blunt scalpel.

41. Jaded couples like the echoes of bugles as they court.

40. A hired car is no time for foolish tricks.

39. If your friend's hand is stuck on the elevator ceiling all because of the ring he's wearing and the electromagnetic plate, point and laugh.

38. Make sure your home has home security so nobody won't break into it and fight you.

37. Clang has a comfy snomanish-like snow disguise/suit.

36. The sounds of Ringo, Paul, George, and John in the bathroom struggling against the monstrous hand dryer sounds like they are being strangled, drowning, and/or screaming like it hurts!

35. Ringo's had some great times with this finger.

34. Even the Royal House of Hanover had the wheel.

33. Clang is a good boy.

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

32. All the rungs have been neatly sawn in the middle!

31. The superintendant has a very famous plan.

30. Most people think it's soda that sprays on Paul when he's in the ashtray, but it's actually coffee, I think.

29. The necessary preparations for Klang's immediate journey to England are made.

_____________________________
Comissioner Gordon: What is the world coming to?
Batman: We can't stop to worry about that now.

Kudos to #34 and #32.

28. Ahme is not what she seems.

27. She will explain everything when the opportunity presents itself.

26. FLEE!

25. Ahme may be a good example of a femme fetale and an anti-heroine.

24. Again, I must compliment that Ahme's quite a dresser.

23. Without the ring, there will be no sacrifice. Without the sacrifice, there will be no congregation. Without the congregation...no more Clang. And this is so.

22. Notice something about Ahme, Bhuta, and Clang's names. A, B, and C! Get it?! ABC!

21. If you're being chased by a cult and hide in a pub, don't stiff the one of you being targeted with the bill.

20. Cults have access to the Goodyear Blimp.

19. The local power plant has Buckingham Palace on 24/7 watch.

18. Bringing things down to your own level is immature.

Kudos on #23. That line and his delivery always cracks me up.

17. Not only does the powerstation monitor the Palace, they know what the Queen got for xmas.

16. Ringo's very polite.

15. Has no one checked the washbasin?

14. Bhuta's blood group is very unusual.

13. Ringo's a rat underneath.

12. George is handy with cars.

11. John has a sweet bedside lamp.

Lol! Thanks! Yeah, arb! #23 is one of my favorite lines, too! Gets me everytime! Bhuta unintentionally is correct, though.

10. The Beatles look adorably lovely in their color coordinated PJs.

9. John is also a good poet and author.

8. Paul towers over EVERYBODY! And I mean EVERYBODY!!!

7. Ahme, don't your dare attempt to interrupt the guys in their little "musical session" while being a guest in their home after you've gotten them away from the crazy scientists! The least you could do is sit back and enjoy their lovely melody tunes until they're through! How rude can you get!

6. Sex is creeping in. Is it any wonder they turn up their noses at a mystical impulse? It's a very real problem.

5. Klang and the Bishop can agree to disagree.

4. This wing of the palace is haunted.

3. Come now, I think the Queen will have something to say about that.

2. Don't go-o-o to the weeendow.

1. No he's not gonna cut, and let that be an end to it. END TO IT!

Damn, you beat me to 3 and 4.

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

Oh, that's okay, owensbya. If you like, we can keep this going.
You guys are awesome! Y'all have put the some of the best, hilariously intriguing things we've learned from this crazy, incredible movie! Better than some I've tried to put. Maybe I should've renamed this post "110 Things We've Learned From Help!". Or more. Lol! Oh well!

100. Check the floor for any trapdoors or anything(outlines in the floor included) that may look like a trapdoor.

99. Ringo use to use his hands. The poor baby half the time has his hands tied up or almost amputated.


Btw, arb, who and what do you mean by #6? Just curious.

98. You can ship a whole temple to the Bahamas

97. Said temple can also be built under a beach.

96. The ring looks so much like a Ring-Pop that it's not surprising Ahme tried to bite the gem off.

95. Ahme must be Clang's travel agent.

94. Clang asks only of obediance and love.

93. The sacrificial ring is cooler than Sauron's one ring. There. I said it.

Word up on #96 and #95. I was thinking the same thing!

92. You can always find slip-on shoes somewhere after swimming from under a cave to an ocean or swimming pool.

91. You can have a picnic in subzero weather in the Alps.

90. Ahme's hairstyles and hair lengths keep changing but still are interesting to look at.

89. George's stomach must be made out of iron and titanium metal. That cymbal he's eating must be delicious!

88. George doesn't want to knock anyone's religion.

87. Trainfighting should be made into a sport.

86. Always make sure you're earthed.

#6 is a concatenated Clang soliloquy. Oh, and correcting myself, it's "agree to differ" not agree to disagree. (I've 7/8ths memorized the entire screenplay but I still flub lines.)

85. From sun to moon, from moon to sun, all are happy to go.

84. That's a very fascinating ring, unless I'm very much mistaken.

83. Ringo got it from this eastern bird. Lady.

82. Clang's own dear mother would give her right arm to be chosen.

81. Somebody's been in that soup. (That's right sir, they're glasses sir.)

80. Foot's a decent employer but Algernon takes advantage of him.

79. The remedy is in your hands. You, the voter.

Oh okay, arb! Lol! You have a great memory! Thanks!

78. And as a nod to #81, John, despite finding someone else's glasses in his soup, he still continues eating it.

77. BEWARE OF CULTS!!!

Sorry. It's just that today they've been showing a series of documentaries and mini-series on various channels about cults and the influence of them. Some pretty scary stuff. I already heard some of the influences and damaging aftermaths because of these cults. Don't fall for that kind of stuff, guys. You don't want to be like Clang and his crazed, deadly, moronic wackos.

76. Ringo can drum with a hand of cards in his hands.

75. Knocking out a squad of the Royal Guard will cost you your knighthood.

74. Ringo sleeps upside down on his bed.

73. All guidebooks have a sections about places of local worship.

There is an actual cult (in UK and otherwheres) that is only one letter off from Kaili. And yes, their focus is sacrifice. Thanks for noticing my memory. I can scarcely remember it myself. Alrighty then, show on the road, battle commence.

72. George can take the lugnuts off a Hillman Manx faster than you can whistle famous Beethoven's famous fifth symphony. (Don't EVEN try to tell me any of you knew that was a Hillman Manx.)

Oh, really? Interesting. And I think it was you that said that they mostly reside in the UK and their sacrifices involve animals and such. Hmm.

And yes, you have way better memory than mine. Sometimes, it's unbelievably short term. It'll take me a minute or two think about what I was thinking or talking about. Lol! I applaud you. And anytime for the noticing.

Awesome #72!

71. George is pretty swift when it comes to fighting movements.

70. In an alternate universe, I think the Beatles would make an excellent wrestling team! They sure can tackle somebody off their feet.

69. Beware bagpipers shooting red paint.

68. Simply saying "Flee!" is enough to tell people to run.

67. Smoke could eminate from something sliding on ice.

66. You can reach London from the Alps by train.

Agreed on #68.

65. In an apartment where 4 people share 4 rooms, they can all be in one of the rooms playing their musical instruments on any various furniture pieces.

64. Be careful not ski by a guy with an umbrella that's also a flare that wants to hurt you and your friends.

63. The Beatles somehow know the national anthem of whatever country Clang and his cult are from.

62. You can fit a sitar into a telephone booth.

61. Cars which run on shillings are prone to shooting tacks.

60. John really doesn't mean to injure intruders in his home.

59. Paul has a best suit.

63. Ringo thought Ahme was a sandwich until she went spare on his hand.

62. They're all so similar in their similitude and language.

61. How long do they think they'll last? Can't say, fair enough. Great Train Robbery, how's that going?

60. Ringo and George have great taste in hats.

59. Salisbury Plain is a great place to do a record.

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

58. Lagers and Lime are a great drink.

57. Everything's relative, you know.

56. Paul knew Ringo didn't miss his tonsils.

55. It had to be the one that doesn't play an electric instrument who was buzzing.

54. Amputating a finger with a hard to get off ring can get risky.

53. It's John, George! You crazy fool!

52. Ahme can sneak out of the guys' house through the door to Paul's basement(?) before the showdown in their home with the wackos from Kaili.

51. If someone pushed you into a bed that's in the floor while fighting you all because you, yes you, broke into their home and they jump on top of you roughing you up, don't do anything. Just lay there, defenelessly hold up your hands, and cower in fear like a yellow dog of cowardly cat.

50. How can Ringo get a ring off with his hand held up?

49. Paul knows he didn't get stomped on. Might this be a "Paul is dead" refutation?

48. Rolling down a snowy hill can hurt.

47. Adoration hasn't gone one jolt to the Beatles's head.

46. John should've hit Foot and Algoron with the lamp for being such demanding morons and scaring them with a toy gun.

45. Ringo doesn't actually look too bad with red paint splashed on him, except for the fact that he cried.

Correction to #47: One jaunt. You know what I mean, success.

44. There's more here than meets the eye.

43. To hide Clang's love away takes a manhole cover.

42. Ahme can say no more.

41. Every Bahaman beach has an electric sewing machine simply sitting there.

40. If someone's wrecking your home, get the home office!

39. If you're gonna splatter someone with paint, make sure the lid is off first.

38. If there's somebody's been in your soup, stop eating it!

37. A bed of nails is quite comforting.

36. If you see some crazies breaking into your home, hide under the couch with your head only being underneath it.

35. I think I lost my appetite with John and the soup.

34. Hold?

33. Over the water we must go.

32. Something must be done.

31. Telephone numbers in England have 12 digits, in the same house.

30. Rented trucks take a shilling in the coinbox before they will run.

29. Paul can play keyboard and bass at the same time.

28. What? Who? Where? Now? If you'll pardon me.

27. Doorman's wife wouldn't wear anything like that. Ostentatious that is.

26. The eastern flavor comes rather expensive.

25. We have all sorts of problems like this. Some of them matrimonial.

24. Algernon likes to observe the proper procedure.

23. Ahme is a deadeye shot shooting.

22. The ring is worth a couple of bob at least.

(OK, cheated, watched the first half hour while writing. Everything before this was from memory.)

^ That was pretty obvious.

"Instant Karma's gonna get you"

All the lines but 31, 29, and 22 I already knew, they just hadn't sprung to mind before. Mean to tell me everyone is doing this purely from memory, not watching it in between? I hadn't seen it for months before today.

We otta all get together and watch this, reading along as it goes. I bet we'd cover 97% of it among the lot of us.

Trivia bit, not something most would know from watching it: The tape recorder Ahme used underground was Norelco/Philips, and the one at the outdoor recording session was a Nagra (Switzerland).


21. We do have one from the sunnier clime, or we did.

20. Ringo always gets stiffed with the bar tab.

19. Always sure your sole song in the film is mentioned by shouting the name over the credits.

18. Make sure going to resteraunts are safe!

17. Different color darts turning into credits is a pretty creative effect.

16. Bazookists who miss are naughty boys.

15. Hastily-scribbled notes should be taken hastily. And then eaten.

14. Ringo's sudden apprehension should be laughed at.

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

13. Oh Clang, give it up!

12. After you were almost sucked into the hand dryer and trying to hold on to the sink, wrest you hand on the towel part by it.

11. In order to mess with your buddies that you live with, call them on the same number with 2 phones.

10. The Beatles' asses sure do look good in them jeans they're wearing towards the end of the movie.

9. Hey, it's thingy.

8. A fiendish thingy!

7. Run, Ringo!

"Let the f-ckers work that one out."-John Lennon

6. After them!

5. KA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. The snow and water splashes everwhere!

5 1/2. Ex-army rubbish. Foot can't get the equipment.

3. Foot is so clueless sometimes.

2. If you've seen that your bandmate/friend's pants been removed while being strapped to a freaky machine, just smile and wave at him.





Hey, if you guys wanna keep this going after #1, be my guests!

1.) Help! is one of the best movies ever made!

Right you are, Premonition. This movie one of the best movies ever made! Though, I hate that it's so freakin' underrated because the story is hilariously decent, the acting is very good(even from the guys), the cinematography is lovely, and you'll havve a great time listening to the music.


100. Help! is one of those movies that would put a smile on your face, even if you're sad.

99. Count on the Beatles to make you laugh till you cry so hard. They're also a great comedic team other than a great, legendary band.

98. There were really 4 stooges.

97. It used to be Paul who got winked at. (times change...)

96. If you're recording a song and there is a weird noise on the tape, check your drummer is still on the same floor as you.

95. George only lays out money when he has five aces.

94. Or when he's peeping at Ringo's hand.

93. If you're at home casually playing a little song with your mates and you're one flut short, you can always count on the guy who mows your indoor lawn.


(There might be a few English mistakes, please tell me and I'll correct them ;))

92. Clang sure has the craziest disguises.

91. While in the Queen's palace, don't stand so close to one the paintings because it may have a rope-like thing that might try to strangle you.

90. Paul McCartney wearing only a gum wrapper can give McCartneyitis sufferers (like me) uncontrollable spasms XP

*´¨)Donald O'Connor is
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ The tinpantithesis of melody

89. Ditto to #90. HOTTIE MACCA

Which reminds me. Going on to the next number dealing with Paul and I suppose other guys.

88. Have you guys noticed Paul's backside when he wears jeans and/or any other pants for that matter? Same goes for John, Ringo, and George. DAMN!

(Ditto to #88 then! lol...I thought I was the only one who randomly pauses her Beatle movies to stare at Beatle booties...)

87. Ringo is a darn good karate chopper.

P.S. Speaking of Beatle booties http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbfVSlPJObM

*´¨)Donald O'Connor is
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ The tinpantithesis of melody

LOL! I love that video! It's hilarious and smokin' hott!

No, you're not the only one who stare at the Fab Four's nice butts. Lol! I wish I could just reach and squeeze their rears. Especially Paul's! His looks juicy! I love the song with it, though it's not them, but it surprisingly fit very well. John shaking his bootie like 100 times is priceless and Johngasmic!

(Ditto to #87. Ringo could sure karate chop those bad guys ANYDAY if he wanted to. Go get 'em, Rings! I'll help you, baby! Sa sa sa sa!)

86. I'm so glad that much of the movie, the Beatles' pants were tight-fitting you can see how their legs, thighs, and ESPECIALLY booties are accentuating. Rrrrrrr!

85. When sleiding, stack up on top of eachother like some blocks as you guys go down the hill. But, no funny business.

84. Also, the guy on the top(Ringo) watch out for any crazy people catching your ankle from up in the air and suspending you above the ground.

83. The Beatles know how to kick ass when someone breaks into their home
82. Ringo was the original karate kid (sa sa sa sa sa!)
81. Apparently, Eastern cults have projectors and can watch the Beatles Help video whenever they want.
80. It is Clang who is filthy in his Eastern ways.
79. It's pronounced bee-tle, not be-a-tle. Although it does sound funny when pronounced as such.
78. George didn't encourage that wink.
77. Apparently either George buys very cheap shirts or that blowdryer had a lot of suction power. But either way it doesn't matter cus he's sexy without a shirt ;)
76. To Clang, the Beatles' music is 'shocking'
75. George looks all distinguished-like in a top hat.
74. John and Ringo have amazing hat collections.
73. John shall not have fun because he's rhythm guitar and a mouth organ.
72. George gets jealous when Paul winks at Ahme, but it's ok because he's always getting winked at these days.
71. Ringo will have some of that famous pluck. Read on!
70. When George bails, it's usually because he needs to pull some straight up ninja moves on cult members, then car surf in order to save Ringo.
69. It's the brain drain. His brain's draining.
68. When you save your friend from the trunk of a car, don't just get him and then walk away. Make sure you screw up the guy's tires, then sit casually in the back. When the car spins out of control, you may fall to the ground, but get back up, grab your friend, and run. There will be a police car waiting for you.
67. When Ringo answers the phone, he uses 'gear fab' quite often, according to the Scotland Yard guy's impression.
66. George knows we're here.
65. The Scotland Yard guy's impression of Ringo is not a bit like Cagney.
64. If you break into George Harrison's home, prepare to be tackled and have a paintbrush shoved into your mouth.
63. Ringo used to leave his head in a railing when he wasn't using it for school.
62. Foot is a perfect surgeon, despite the fact that he sanitizes his hands before an operation using seawater.
61. At the end of the day, the happy victim is SLAUGHTERED, jolly, with a knife.
60. Judging by her facial expression, Ahme is disgusted by Bhuta's obedience and love for Clang.



*~ ErIn *~ In the evening, I've got to roam...

59. Lieutenant Leguiz Ahme was told the price of capture.
58. Hastily scribbled notes must be taken hastily. Then eaten.
57. Kokurry Rifles are quite merciless.
56. Animals trust Algernon. He should have been in vivisection.
55. Green is the earth in America. In some places it's brown.
54. Joining a pickup soccer match in the Bahamas might be a bad idea.
53. Bhuta doesn't speak the language. Latin yes but that eastern babble no.
52. The eastern flavor comes rather expensive.
51. When the radar's broken, nevermind.
50. Besides being shocking, Beatle music is also monstrous.

Excellent ones, tila and arb!

49. When making a film, it's always best to lable any ferocious escaped tigers with 'A Tiger', just to be sure the audience are aware what it is

Gee, I love this film!

Great one.

48. The man in front of the Eastern restaurant is not from the West, he's from the East. Stepney.

47. He also thinks Ringo's ring is ostantatious.

46. When looking for your friend who's been kidnapped, be sure to go around everywhere screaming his name at the top of your lungs. (RINGOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!)

45. Ringo's a rat underneath, isn't he?

44. You're supposed to sing famous Beethoven's famous 9th symphanony.

43. Ringo's on the floor because hes tired.

42. John thinks Ringo should stop trying to drag things down to his own level. (It's immature, son.)

41. It's a season ticket, what do you think it is?

40. Shilling, shilling? Oh, shilling?

39. What better way to use an intermission then to go to a field of flowers and jump up and down?

38. Ringo will kick your a** with his mad karate skills. Of course, if you splash him with red paint, he will cry.

37. Poor little George can't whistle.

36. George isn't impressed with the superindendant's impression of Cagney. It's not a bit like him.

35. The relativity cadenza is a "bad machine!"

34. You stepped on Paul!

33. Oh no, you didn't, He's all sticky though.

32. What don't you understand? Ahme can say no more!

31. Bhuta's going to miss the sacrifice if he doesn't run!

30. "I Need You" by George Harrison is "I Need You" by George Harrison.

R.Phoenix J.Lennon B.Renfro H.Ledger
The Beatles = Life

Awesome ones!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks!!!! :D

R.Phoenix J.Lennon B.Renfro H.Ledger
The Beatles = Life

You're welcome!

this thread deserves to hang around (-:

29. John thinks the jeweler is not getting anywhere.
28. Jeweler thinks John should see a specialist. (What sort of specialist, he's broken all your tools?)
27. If Foot had a Luger, eh? Herr scientist properly equipped? Think on it. The remedy's in your hands. You, the voter.

_______________________
Guacamole in my choos