a fitting final episode


What would a fitting final episode have been like? If the producers had decided to end the series with a bang, what would a final hour-long episode have been like? I like to imagine it would have been about the final, wars'-end liberation of the camp, when Hogan and his crew get to shut down their operation and hitch a ride to England. Perhaps they give Klink a tour of the tunnel system and explain what has been going on under his nose for the last few years. Perhaps there would be a final, action-packed shoot-out with the SS. It's intriguing to consider, and we'll just never know.

How would it go if you wrote it?

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[deleted]

A final episode would be tricky for one reason: while we viewers have a certain amount of affection for Klink and Schultz -- and so did the POWs I think -- it was still war, and Hogan and company still viewed Klink and Schultz as enemies. That makes any sort of reveals and reconciliation tough.

It gets easier to do if events put them on the same side for once. So the way I'd work it is, the Allies are not far from Stalag 13, and Major Hochstetter plans to level Stalag 13 along with all its prisoners. This is where Klink and Schultz refuse to follow orders for once, try to undermine Hochstetter's plans, and promptly get caught and thrown in the cooler to meet the same fate as the prisoners. So it's up to Hogan and team to stop Hochstetter's plans, rescue Klink and Schultz, and make sure they are treated with respect when the Allies come rolling in. I wouldn't want things to get too mushy between Hogan and Klink, but at least a sincere salute of respect where they recognize each other's decency.

Oh, and General Burkhalter shows up; the Allied soldiers point guns at him and tell him he's under arrest, but he just smiles and tells them to contact Winston Churchill and tell him Nimrod has arrived to secure Stalag 13.

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... oh, they absolutely must foil Hochstetter's plans by blowing the tunnels. ALL of them. That means crowding all the prisoners (and such Germans who opposed Hochstetter's orders, basically Klink / Schultz / Hilda / Helga and perhaps a few more) into barracks 4 -- the only barracks to which no tunnels are connected -- and the rest of the camp collapses into sinkholes. Except for Klink's office -- occupied by Hochstetter -- it gets every last explosive Carter can spare.

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... one more thought: Hogan somehow tricks Hochstetter into putting all the prisoners and disloyal Germans into barracks 4, with the intention of blowing it up. Except, Hogan's boys have reworked the detonator so that it doesn't trigger the explosives Hochstetter has put around barracks 4, but rather all the explosives in the tunnels.

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I always pictured Klink, Burkhalter and Hochstetter in Klink's office, arguing about some inane thing when Schultz barges in (Hogan close behind, unnoticed) and in a panic announces that the Red Army is closing in on Hammelburg and Stalag 13. The officers begin to panic, themselves, and Hogan for once shows some little compassion to his friendly adversaries of the previous three years. As the Germans try to think up some ineffective escape plan, Hogan tells them that time is short and if they will trust him he can get them behind Western lines and away from the Soviet troops who cheerfully and summarily will shoot every German officer they see. Desperate, the three officers and Schultz put themselves into Hogan's hands.

Hustling over to Barracke 2, Hogan tells his guys that the Soviets are closing in within ten hours and the ENTIRE camp is evacuating to jolly old England via the Underground. Washington - oh, how I wish it still was Kinch! - contacts the Underground and requests accommodations for 300 enlisted men and four officers (the three Germans and Hogan). Hochstetter tries at the last minute to be a good Nazi and arrest the others, at which point Burkhalter coldcocks him with his sidearm. Meanwhile, "Goldilocks" has been contacting every Underground agent and transport within 50 miles to accommodate a mass escape.

With minutes to spare, the last person out the tunnel - Hogan - detonates the explosive charges Carter wired around the camp and inside the tunnels, leaving nothing but ruins for the conquering Soviet Army troops. All of the Stalag 13 prisoners and the three German officers make it to submarines bound for England, and the prisoners return home; the officers remain for debriefing and eventual new identities...Schultz opens a toy store and factory in Chicago and becomes a millionaire, again; Klink goes to work for Schultz in the mailroom; Burkhalter opens a German deli in downtown Milwaukee and becomes quite prosperous; and Hochstetter opens a deli and specialty soup restaurant in downtown Manhattan, where he fondly becomes known far and wide as the "soup Nazi."

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Like the concept you have.

... and really loved "Soup Nazi".

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Here is how I would have done a final episode.

The war is over and Hogan is at the Pentagon for a debriefing session. He is asked about each of his men and he tells a little story about them, with each member "starring" in a segment as told by Hogan.

Near the end, they ask Hogan if he would like to meet the man that made his entire mission possible. Hogan says he'd love to. So one of the generals picks up the phone and says "Send him in".

Much to Hogan's surprise, in walks Klink.

It turns out Klink knew all about what Hogan was doing all along but had to play tough to not tip off his bosses. He said that he decided to do what he did because of a childhood friend. He and this kid, Chaim Goldstein, used to play together all the time. Mr. Goldstein would take Klink fishing and to soccer games.

Then he joined the army and lost touch with the Goldstein family. One day he was visiting his mother and asked what happened to them. she said they had moved away. He asked her where they went, but she just gave him a stern look and said they were gone and he should never mention their name again.

Klink knew what that meant. He used his contacts and found out they had been murdered by the Nazis. So he joined up with a fifth column group within the German government. One of the members of the group was able to get him appointed to run Stalag 13. From there he looked the other way as Hogan's team did their job but were all tucked in at nightly inspection.

Hogan started to thank him, but Klink said he didn't owe him any thanks. He did it to honor his friend and to avenge his death.

As he left, Klink said he and his family were moving to America and becoming citizens.

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it can't be Klink.

'Huuutch!' - Starsky

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I, too, would’ve loved a final episode that wrapped up any loose ends. There are two things in particular I would’ve liked to have seen:

1) The war ends and the pow’s gain their freedom.

2) Colonel Hogan decides to allow Klink to keep his legacy intact.

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Of course it would be that Hogan takes over as command of the prison and puts the Germans in the klink. :)

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