The STINKABLE Molly Brown

I sat through this lumbering, overlong corn-fest yet again today. The
first time I saw it, I didn't care for it and today, I out and out
hated it.

For starters, there's uh - NO STORY! A tomboy gets picked on by her
brothers, so she leaves and meets some singing Paul Bunnion in the
backwoods. He devotes himself to her, begs her to marry him. She
does, then cries because she didn't get a wedding dress and sets his
life savings on fire. No matter. As he leaves to buy booze, his
axe strikes gold and they become rich.

And that's the FIRST half.

Second half, one tedious party after another, as Eliza Doolittle -er, sorry,
Molly Brown learns how to be a sophisticate and win over the snooty
locals. That's in Europe. Then Paul Bunnion feels left out and leaves
Molly. No problem. She jumps on - a drum roll, please - the TITANIC.
As countless husbands and boys drown, Molly "cheers up" their screaming
mothers/husbands. With a Song. Then she goes home and Paul is waiting
for her. In the same mansion. Which was no different than anything
in Europe.

And that's the end of the "movie." Two hours and 15 minutes later.

Sure, there's a few lively musical numbers, where REAL dancers dance
and clumsy Debbie stomps around. There's also the "delight" of
Harve Presnell, sporting eye liner (!) and what looks like a borrowed
wig from Kim Novak! He sounded like Nelson Eddy and looked like one
half of Siefried and Roy.

Would've napped through the whole thing if there wasn't so much damn
noise!