Pants! Pants!
Sing the praises of pants!
Nothing better shows my taste,
Than what I wear below my waist.

Hey, pants! Pants!
Sing the Praises of pants!
They help me suck in my gut,
They always cover up my butt.

Pants! Pants!
Sing the praises of pants!
Wear them and you're a cool guy,
As long as you zip up your fly!

(Zip) Pants! Pants!
Sing the praises of pants!

Joel: That's right ladies and gentlemen! Consider the pants! You know, the Pants Association urges you to wear your pants at least three times a day!

Crow: The great men of our time have all worn pants! Roosevelt! Churchill! DeGualle! Ghandi... well, almost all of them!

Tom: Dolphins, one of the smartest mammals on Earth. Do they wear pants? No! But they wish they did! THAT'S how smart they are!

What keeps our legs all warm and hot? Pants!
What prevents a Buffalo shot? Pants!
What do they got that I don't got? Pants.
You can say that again.


Hey, a transcript of the Pants song! Cool!


I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women...

***Y'know... if we PRETEND we know what's going on, this is actually kind of exciting!***