"Diary of a Chambermaid" should be a TV show.

They could call it "Diary of a Chambermaid Mysteries" and it should star someone like Ludivine Sagnier or Emmanuelle Beart.

Every week, Celestine should get a job as a maid at a new house. She flirts with all the men and entertains marriage propositions from all of them. Then a major crime is committed and Celestine picks the most likely suspect and tries to frame him (or her) for the crime.

At the end of every episode, Celestine marries the next door neighbor and the culprit goes free and opens a café in a different French city.

And in every episode, violent right-wing revolutions are being planned in the kitchen.

When this formula gets old, about the third or fourth season, the title changes to "Luis Bunuel Mystery Theatre" and Celestine appears in various Bunuel scenarios. For example, she appears with the cast of "The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie" and tries to help them solve the mystery of why they can't eat dinner. She is very little help and the entire cast starves to death inside a grain silo.

Then she helps the cast of "The Exterminating Angel" try to figure out why they can't leave the room. The only recourse is for Celestine to lead a revolt. The masses rise up and storm the Vatican. As they attack the Pope, the camera pans to a koala eating eucalyptus leaves and watching the violence in a rather disinterested manner.

When Celestine comes across a particularly difficult mystery, she calls in Petra from "Smiles of a Summer Night," who tells her to cheer up.

This will eventually spin off into a Saturday morning TV show called "Chambermaid Babies."

Janet! Donkeys!