Final report to Carpet Empire

This is the summary of information recorded from our visit to planet 345.976.872, as observed by Information Technicians Pile and Shag.

In our travels on this planet, we came across no sentient textile life with which to enter into a dialogue. The only evidence that such life ever existed on this planet was based on our interaction with animal lifeforms that we encountered several times. These small bipedal creatures seemed to possess limited intelligence, but they were capable of blinding speed in their actions when they chose to move. Luckily for our information gathering, they chose not to move on several occassions and were easily harvested due to their relience on stick-like limbs which did not provide the comfort and realiable support the residents of the Carpet Empire enjoy with their physiognomy.

The shocking truth is that these animals all carried the carcasses of dead textile sentients on their bodies as raimants. This exhibiting of trophies also extended to a creature leaving out the bodies of respected white sheet-like creatures on wires, perhaps as a warning or to prepare them for being made into more grisly trophies. Technician Shag harvested this animal with great relish.

The animals seemed divided into two types, which we will call male and female, based on previous reports of Dust Bunnies from planet 125.367.892. The female of the species was more respectful of scientific endeavors. They would greet Technician Shag with a pleasing shriek and allow Technician Shag to harvest them for our research. However the males of species are a study in brutishness. On seeing Technician Shag, their actions towards their females included throwing them into hard objects or getting into altercations with other males. They are highly physical creatures and attacked Techincian Shag with a variety of weapon-like clubs and projectiles that served only to shake the dust from his pelt. Did we mention their blinding speed?

These animals have limited activities. When in groups, at all times they play some form of noise we'll call music, either with instruments or mechanical devices. When alone, they were witnessed to either hang dead textile sentients, as mentioned previously or call to some form of divine being known possibly as "Bobby." This may have been a greeting of some kind however. We were unable to open any dialogue with them. To be frank, Techinican Pile was continually harrassed by one of the males, and Technician Pile did not really want to communicate with him. The male was growing resentful of Technician Pile, or at least, Pile thought that he was.

The animals did have access to two pieces of technology, probably harvested from the civilization of their textile betters which caused cessation of scientific inquiries. One was a crude explosive, which upended and ripped apart Technician Shag. Another was a crude vehicle, seemingly incapable of space travel, that was rammed into Technician Pile, ending the mission. Other similar vehciles were witnessed, but many were in poor working condition and did not seem to function properly.

In summary, there is no intelligent life on this planet worth a continuing connection with, and the indidgenous animals are unlikely to perfect space travel in any way from the poor technology left behind by the previous textile race of beings, which did not seem to have a culture worth studying. This planet can be categorized as low priority.

May the Carpet Empire's thread-count remain high.

Who wants to read the same thing nine times?