101 Things I Learned From The Spiral Road

This movie was unexpectedly rich in this regard.

1). No matter how hot it gets in the tropics, attractive white women never sweat.

2). The big sport at dinners of Dutch colonialists is the Suckling Pig Toss, which can be done without getting grease on anybody's formal wear.

3). Short Indonesian males make great pets.

4). When you are wandering around deranged in the jungle, you can grow a five-inch beard in a couple of days.

5). If a native tribe find a cache of cheap hooch, they won't drink it but they'll keep it around for decades to use to drive the colonial rulers nuts.

6). Once you see Burl Ives take a bath, oh man you want to un-see it.

7). If a crazed man comes after you with a machete and you've got a pistol, it's only fair to let him take a few close-quarter swings at you before you take the pistol out and shoot him.

8). Only a selfish lout would spend five years in the tropical jungle just so he can transcrbe the notes of a back station doctor on leprosy and then publish them.

9). Atheists believe you can live all alone in the jungle, surrounded by hostile natives, and -not- go all Colonel Kurtz.

10). If you give sex hormones to a mild mannered shopkeeper, you will turn him into a crazed rapist.

11). Burl Ives sure does drink a lot.

12). Whatever you do, don't send him a totuck (sp?)

13). If you catch an East Indies sultan cheating at pool, you get to burn down his palace as well as his entire village.