I disagree about the reconciliation, the thing about successfully "passing" is that you've got to leave your past and your family behind, to carry it off. I mean Sarah Jane couldn't be a sexy dancer for long, she had no education so if she wanted to rise in the world her only option was to marry well... marry a white man with money. And unless she found someone unusually liberal, forgiving, and open-minded for the 1950s, that's mean hiding her background and making a Big Lie part of their relationship, and praying that their children were all born with straight hair and pointy noses.
That was one reason Annie pushed Sarah Jane so hard to give up on passing, because she knew it'd mean she'd be abandoned by her only child. Annie was motivated partly by self-preservation, and partly because she had a better idea of the price of living a lie than a 20 year old girl.