1) When you're the pilot of an airplane, make sure that the cockpit has steering wheels.
2) The best way to fix a jammed ray gun is to drop it on the floor.
3) Never trust a supreme leader who wears WAY too much eyeshadow.
4)Remember that women get buried in the ground and there husbands get buried in a mausoleum.
Next?
future events happen in the future
share6) It's perfectly safe for policemen to wave their firearms around willy nilly to point at things.
7) Some graveyards are just too strapped for cash to make their tombstones...out of stone. So cardboard will do!
8) When meeting with the head of "Saucer Field Activities" you need to make sure to ask whether or not they believe in Flying Saucers.
9) If you ever find yourself ruling over an alien army, remember that there are much more important things to take care of than saving the universe, which can be left in the hands of one ship.
10) And of course...all you of Earth are IDIOTS!!!
11)When you're flying your spacecraft around Hollywood, be sure to fly by the ABC,CBS and NBC buildings.
12)There are times when a man cannot believe his own eyes (especially when he's drinking)
13)When your husband is flying his plane,make sure that you have a pillow to sleep with.
14)The best way to disable an obese zombie is to sneak up behind him and hit him over the head with a tree branch.
15) Trees can be so shocked by the event of a grizzly car accident that they'll become frozen in horror at the sight.
16) Hydrogen bombs explode the very air itself.
17) Elderly zombies can be self-conscious of their appearances just like the rest of us. Why else would some go so far as to use tacky costume shop vampire-capes to keep their faces hidden?
18) Humans can build machines that can translate alien languages they've never heard before because...SCIENCE!
19) When waiting back in the car whilst your pals are going off to investigate an alien and zombie tag-team invasion its optional whether or not to lock the door. Because after all, what are the odds of them coming after you anyway right?
20) Contrary to common knowledge, small towns that get wiped out actually had people in them...people who died!
22)The best way to find out what the hell the aliens want with us is to send an Army Colonel to San Fernando, California.
23)Apparently extraterrestrials buy their clothes at The Lord Of The Rings surplus store.
23) Albuquerque is a great place to go "balling it up".
24) During funerals people will pack into mausoleums as if they were clown cars.
25) It's impossible to measure an atom. Although you can explode one, so it all works out in the end.
26) The universe's most advanced alien race hasn't seemed to learn that they should carry fire extinguishers aboard their vessels yet.
27) It would appear that airline pilots are allowed reading material during their flights. Like say, film scripts for example.
28) Instead of replacing your defective electrode gun that almost got your shipmate killed, you should just keep using it anyway. The risk is well worth it. I'm sure that those things don't come cheap!
29) Saucers and cigars as it would turn out are actually the same shape.
30) Halberds serve as an important cultural symbol for some space aliens. So much so that their leader even sports one on his chest.
31)Aliens, leave Patrolmam Kelton alone!
32)Airplane pilots can see UFO'S, but they can't say anything about it!
33)If you couldn't run fast before you became a zombie, you won't be able to do it after (regardless of what Danny Boyle says.)
34)If there's one thing American Army Generals cannot stand, it's aliens who messages to earth go on, and on, and on...
35) The helmsman of any registered Alpha Centuri craft is required to take a swig of booze when ever getting behind the wheel. It helps for the saucer two shake around erratically a bit to strike fear into the hearts of man.
36) Small town American cops from Sweden can only perceive reality in two-dimensions.
37) Grave diggers don't like to hear noises. Especially when there aren't supposed to be any.
38) Having the ability to obliterate absolutely everything in the universe would make Amurrica a more powerful nation.
39) The ability to remember details like the state of damage your victim was in marks the difference between a detective lieutenant and a uniformed cop.
40) Or sometimes it's only the breaks.
41) That modern women have been like that all down through the ages.
42) That we once laughed at the horseless carriage, the aeroplane, the telephone, the electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television. And now some of us laugh at outer space!
43)Let us punish the guilty... For being in this movie.
Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!
44)This movie is the reason why Vampira's tv show lasted only one week.
share45)In the town of San Fernando, California, it can be daylight AND night at the SAME time!
46)Never have your movie narrated by a phony psychic.
47)Apparently no one told Bela Lugosi that Vampires are supposed to be sleeping in their coffins during the day.