12 things I learned from "The River's Edge"

I enjoyed the film and would recommend it. However I feel I must share a dozen important life lessons from this classic.

Twelve things I learned from The River’s Edge

1) Getting stomped on, a little, by a bull happens all the time on a ranch
2) If you dont keep the water tank clean, mud will come out of the shower
3) Mud from the water tank is easy to wipe off with a big pink towel, so easy that you don’t even need another shower.
4) If a woman will not have dinner with you, send up a bottle of bubble bath to her room. Sandalwood if you have it.
5) If your wife goes of with a guy in a sports car, it gives you the chance to do a little drinking.
6) The border patrol covers back 20 miles from the border.
7) Cattle rancers keep knives in their glove box, custom made for killing turkeys.
8) Keeping a rifle wrapped up in a blanket will keep you from killing your nemisis 100 times a day.
9) Indians will be happly to let you shoot their cow for 500 bucks.
10) You can get gangrene from a barb-wire fence, but you can cure it by cutting it out and sprinkling gun powder over it.
11) You can make blanks for your revolver simply by biting the bullets out of the cartridges.
12) Dont try to flag down a truck at night on a mexican, mountain road.