MovieChat Forums > Man on Fire (1957) Discussion > Great father in the movie and a terrible...

Great father in the movie and a terrible father in real life.


Crosby did a wonderful acting job as he was totally believable. Possibly in real life he was a great actor. Nice appearing to the world and terrible in private. Bipolar in the movie and probably in real life. As I watched I kept thinking what a wonderful father but also kept thinking who or what was the REAL Crosby.

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Sad but true.

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Probably not true. A spoiled kid gets pissed off because he didn't get what he wanted and decides to cash in and trash the old man's image with a cheap book. Simple minds accept its veracity without question.

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I agree with you. It's always easy to believe the worst of people. Gary Crosby was hardly the most reliable of sources due to his drug usage, and has changed his story way too many times for me to be comfortable. My opinion: By today's standards, Crosby might be considered abusive; by the standards of the 30s, I suspect he'd be looked on as a stern and strict father.

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ModernAudrey says > It's always easy to believe the worst of people.
I don't think it's just about what we choose to believe. A lot of parents, in particular fathers, admit to having been mostly absent from their children's lives and, when they were around, they didn't always know how to relate to them.

In most cases these men weren't avoiding their kids, they were out building careers so they could provide for their families. That's actually responsible parenting.

For all we know Cosby's wife, who presumably wasn't working, may have been the one to fail their kids. As we saw in this movie, Ted's mother played a big role in her son's unhappiness. She felt neglected and jumped ship; first leaving her son behind then disrupting his life after he was settled and had adjusted. She put her happiness before his.

To his credit, Cosby apparently did a better job parenting the children he had later in life. At that point, he probably had more time to spend with them and had learned from his prior mistakes.

Gary Crosby was hardly the most reliable of sources due to his drug usage, and has changed his story way too many times for me to be comfortable.
Every child has his or her own needs. When they're not being met and things go wrong they may not be able to articulate it properly. They may withdraw, rebel, and/or misbehave. It's entirely possible Gary's drug use stemmed from his attempt to fill a void in his life. That neither excuses nor justifies drug use but there must be some reason certain people choose that route while others manage to avoid it. His drug use may also explain the lapses in memory that appear to be inconsistent or contradictory.

My opinion: By today's standards, Crosby might be considered abusive; by the standards of the 30s, I suspect he'd be looked on as a stern and strict father.
None of our parents were perfect but most of us managed to grow up just fine. Being stern and strict does not necessarily make a person a bad parent and it was not restricted to the past. My parents were strict in a lot of ways but there were reasons for it. They wanted to keep us from falling under the wrong influences. They weren't afraid to be parents; to maintain some control and not set us off on the wrong path in life.

Lacking structure or being too lax'd can be a sign of neglect, parental apathy, or indifference. Most parents did their best and should be forgiven for the things they may have gotten wrong; unless, of course, they subjected their kids to mental, physical, sexual, or any other kind of abuse and serious mistreatment.

The standards or expectations for parents may have changed over the years but I don't think parenting, itself, really changes all that much. Today a lot of parents mistakenly think good parenting means giving their kids an abundance of things; being more their friend than a parent; and letting them do whatever they want. That, in my opinion, is a recipe for disaster.


Woman, man! That's the way it should be Tarzan. [Tarzan and his mate]

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Richie PEARLS SERIES author
Yes to the influences of and through the mother when dad was out working. She ruled and her way prevailed. Husbands often come home to behaviors that are the cause of an injustice, lack, over reaction, or abuse doled out by mom and that is even if she meant well while doing it. Women can only address and or correct so much and they would do well to hand-off to dad to finish and or address the object lesson. It is hard for a growing boy to accept the feminine point of view when his genes call out for his like kind and they go unanswered. Much confusion results and no one is to blame necessarily. More importantly, addressing the needs of children and solving them in that short period of time one is a child is important. If not, they take it with them into the adult life journey seeking resolution and closure. Mankind was never meant to travel with baggage. Thank you for sharing your point of view and what a wonderful movie for discussion here.

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Richie-67-485852 says > Women can only address and or correct so much and they would do well to hand-off to dad to finish and or address the object lesson. It is hard for a growing boy to accept the feminine point of view when his genes call out for his like kind and they go unanswered.
Uh oh, the feminists may pounce on you for saying that but I have to agree. Boys grow up to be men and girls grow up to be women - at least that's how it used to be. Both parents are important in a child's life but they play different roles. We learn things from our same sex parent that the opposite sex parent can't necessarily teach us because they haven't experienced those things first hand and vice versa.

Those who don't have the ideal scenario probably can make do with what they have but it's very risky. Whatever they lack they may not be able to make up in other ways and it could lead to serious problems.


Woman, man! That's the way it should be Tarzan. [Tarzan and his mate]

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