Wow! What did I just see?

Jupiter's Darling is a looney looney looney 1950s musical that doesn't care what you think. It scoffs at your bourgeois notions of what makes a movie good. It spits on your outdated ideas of what makes a song and what makes a story. And most of all, it craps all over your quaint Establishment views on historical accuracy.

Ah, but it's a wonderful kind of lunacy. I enjoyed every moment and every weird musical number. Esther Williams is a Roman woman with a magical swimming pool where the underwater statues come to life during her big number! Then she defects to the Carthaginians and teaches Hannibal to swim! Marge and Gower Champion dance with the elephants!

This movie is hilarious. It's as wonderfully looney as Fiesta, but not quite as good as Million-Dollar Mermaid. But what is?

Janet! Donkeys!