Outrageously Hollywood

Not quite enough laughs to make up for the silly goofs. Did people really have so little historical knowledge in 1954?

Two English noblewomen are riding through the sands of the Holy Land. Why they didn't stay home is dubious. However, they are protected by a stalwart troupe of castellans, which they pronounce "castellaines". A real castellan was the seneschal who stayed home and looked after their lord's desmenes.

Normally Hollywood costuming is fairly authentic for men's clothing and total fantasy for women's dress. See Virginia Mayo with her Disney princess wardrobe! See the crusaders wearing sixty pounds of chain mail in the Middle Eastern heat, even when relaxing in their tents! See a hedge knight from the Highlands treasonously do single combat with his sworn liege lord! See two men fighting on a raised drawbridge over a moat belonging to a castle high on a hill in Jerusalem.

There's more, a lot more, but I need another cup of coffee.


They didn't care. Movies were entertainment, not documentary.

Look at the films about World War 2 made by people who lived through it and even fought it, sanitized, cliche ridden and historical nonsensical sometime to the point of insulting (Bridge on the River Kwai and Battle of the Bulge are two major offenders).

And it's not like Hollywood doesn't still do that. These Greek mythology films that can't even stick to the original mythology and that awful Banderas Zorro sequel that mentions the Confederacy many years before the US Civil War.

Yeah, it's fun to notice all the absurd things in "historical" dramas. But most of them were intended to be mass-appeal bullsh-t.


Ugh, then let future generations laugh as hard at our Zorros and Troys as I am at this movie -- not only a period piece, but a product of its time. My, they had wonderful lighting in those days! Interior chambers of stone castles, tented encampments at night, all flooded with brightness! And folks sure keep their clothes clean and bright -- they must be using Tide. That one guard who strolled around with a Halloween-style weapon dangling over his shoulder was so relaxed on watch that he seemed like he'd had a few tokes. No wonder he was easily stabbed in the back.

Think cynical thoughts.


How about when Harrison shot a big arrow several inches deep into Harvey's chest, but seconds later Harvey was up and fighting, with no evidence of having been wounded. It was like little boys playing cowboys and indians, when one gets shot and falls down, only to jump up a few moments later and continue in the game.


The film was just plain daft!

Its that man again!!