MovieChat Forums > The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (1952) Discussion > I am so sick of "this wasn't the way lif...

I am so sick of "this wasn't the way life was" BS

posted 7 years ago by thomas196x2000
13 replies | jump to latest

...that permeates so many responses.

My family life, and my cousins and many of my friends were very MUCH like this. Oh, issues were not wrapped up in 30 minutes, everyone wasn't always in a good mood, sometimes hurtful things were said. There were bullies at school, certain foods we didn't like, loneliness when starting a new school, etc. Hurt feelings, illness, broken bones, getting on the "outs" with your friends, and all the other bumps and bruises you get in life.

But there were many, many ways that my life--and many people I knew--were much like this.

My mom was a stay at home mom. The house was spotless, always, period. (It amazes me how many non-working people I know and their homes are dumps). My sisters' chores included a top to bottom cleaning of the bathrooms every Saturday afternoon. My chores were vacuuming, taking out the trash, and when older, mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. My dad never gave allowances, but gave money for doing big jobs, such as mowing our huge lawn or waxing cars. The other household chores were simply done with no expectation of cash. My dad would chip in when I wanted to buy rockets or other hobbies. My dad and I really did build things together. He wore a sweatshirt around the house on weekends and built things. We had swings and jungle gyms out back, and we had bikes. I had a perfectly good bike, but I wanted a new 10 speed, and my dad said, you have a good bike, but if you REALLY want a 10 speed, you save for it and I will pay half. He helped my sisters with first cars, but they had to pay for most of it.

My sisters didn't have boyfriends until their senior year in high school, and didn't have "relations" until their early 20s. This wasn't considered weird or old fashioned. My mom would do occasional part time work, but the home, meals, etc never suffered. We all worked hard and were very happy. My mom and dad would occasionally have an argument, and like most couples, over something stupid. My sisters and I would occasionally fight, and then an hour later be playing "Life" or "Monopoly".

They used to have scary movies on Saturday afternoons; my mom would break out crackers, smoked oysters, cheese and pastries. We all watched and enjoyed. Quite often, the whole family played board games.

There was no chaos, no cursing, no physical abuse; there were prayers at bedtime, there were great Christmases. There were vacations in the mountains, once to Hawaii, and going back East.

We were not rich, but solid middle class. My parents didn't drink (occasional wine or beer, maybe a Whiskey Sour when they went out for a night on the town), use drugs, nor did we.

It grows so tiresome to hear people constantly harp about how people "didn't live that way". Yeah they did. I am glad they did. Please stop projecting onto others your crummy, unfortunate life with bad parents or your own lousy parenting skills and unhappiness onto the rest of us. This really was, not in all ways but in many ways, the way many of us lived in the 50s and 60s. I feel sorry if you missed it.

[–] gbennett5 7 years ago

You are overly defensive, and going from one extreme to the other. The
point that many are making is that the TV Nelsons were indeed a very
HOMONGENIZED version of their family, and, frankly, others. Even David
spoke of this, when he wrote that when they were alone, the Nelsons had
their issues: Ozzie's controlling ways, Rick and his hyper-sexuality -
which resulted in at least one abortion; Rick's early use of weed. David
further wrote that when anyone would show up at their front door, they
would all automatically jump into character.

Harriet also stated that Ozzie would treat others pretty well, then come
home and take out his frustrations on HER.

They were NOT "the perfect family", because the perfect family does not
exist. In any era.

I love the show, and have loved it for decades, but it is far from
reality. Everything was sunny, and Cokes, and malts, and everyone was so
friendly and nice. Black people seem to not exist. Homosexuality was
something nobody ever heard of.

If we accept the show for what it is - pure escapism - than it's fine.
But, no, real life was not this placid. Period.

[–] thomas196x2000 7 years ago

Defensive? I am making a point, which is valid. I am neither anxious, or overly excited, or any other value typically assigned to the term "defensive".

2nd, it is immaterial what the Nelson's home life was--I see where you are going with it, hey, even the Nelson's home life was crummy and did not match their screen life. But again, does not matter.

I never said my family was perfect, nor was anyone else's. But my life, and my extended family's life, was very warm, family oriented, non-chaotic, stable, no drugs or drinking, and--most importantly for a kid, fun.

You can say "real life was not this placid, period", which smacks of the defensiveness you blather on about. YOUR life may not have been as enjoyable as mine, but that is YOUR experience.

Your screed is EXACTLY what I have been talking about, and you don't even realize it.

[–] InherentlyYours 7 years ago

OP
Your (real) anger about life no longer being that way is being seen though your early experience. And though I agree with you about things (and people) being nicer then, you cannot say that there was no swearing, physical abuse. etc. It just so happened that it didn't occur in your family. You were fortunate; it shaped you to who you are today.

Wherever you lived, and whatever family you were surrounded by, sounds inspiring. Too bad I didn't live in your household during the 60's, since I was around then (unless there was a significant change in general with households between the 50's/ 60's) Much of society back then "didn't live that way", and current members of society today still "live that way".

[–] Navaros 7 years ago

Much of society back then "didn't live that way", and current members of society today still "live that way".

Back then, having a normal family like O&H was the norm. There were exceptions to the norm, but they were few and far between.

Today the opposite is true. Having a normal family like O&H is the exception, and they are few and far between. Today, "the norm" is to have broken homes/ruined families/dysfunctional families and/or unhealthy/freakish imitations of families.

Obviously, the normal O&H version is infinitely better than the destructive liberal version. But that is the golden truth that liberals do not want anyone to know. They want everyone to think that their garbage versions of family and society are the only possible options.

[–] InherentlyYours 7 years ago

Navaros,Navaros

I realize what you are saying in general, and I mentioned earlier that I agreed. However, the OP painted an extremely rosy-picture in fine detail.

Here's the thing: it's not about me being liberal, or non-liberal, or right or left. I, personally don't think everything , including how one takes a dump, as politically-motivated nor politically-relevant. (unless, I am wrong, and most people are robotically-inclined that way.

Nice talking to you.

[–] thomas196x2000 7 years ago

Uh, no anger here. Because I am a bit tired of history revisionists painting with a broad brush does not make me angry.

It wasn't just my family. Twice a year we would have block parties, the whole neighborhood came. We would convoy to the park for a softball game, have a barbecue in the streets, play games with water balloons. This wasn't some contrived, Hallmark movie BS, this was the way it WAS. All over. I had one friend, ONE, who had a broken home. That's what we called it back then, because it broke marriages and kids.

I am sorry you missed it. Maybe you can infuse it into YOUR family if you have kids, put them first, your family first, and make the best out of life that can be. You might have to kick your kids off Facebook, be involved with your school more than you intended, slap a smile on your face during your daughter's piano lessons, make a fine dinner when you wish you could just get fast food, and instill discipline in your kids by being disciplined yourself.

If all that sounds like too much work, or suggestions made by some "angry" poster, then you have already shut your mind off to what is possible, and accept to live with that which is lazy.

[–] Navaros 7 years ago

Great points, thomas.

Today's liberals always try to play the revisionist history game and say that the good society of the 50's was fake because telling that lie supports their ideology and the maintenance of the status quo of the evil cesspool abomination into which they have debased civilization.

The purpose of liberals telling the lie that the good society that existed before they took over was fake is to convince people that no alternative to their reign of evil exists, that the only option is to let liberals continue to rule over society and keep it as the barbaric cesspool that they love.

But wise and moral people will always see through those liberal lies, and realize that the good society is real and can be had again by rejecting liberals' sick ideology and taking away their control over society.

[–] gbennett5 7 years ago

You are an IDIOT. Pure and simple. "Real life" did NOT reflect The
Nelsons. They, too, were an extremely dysfunctional family, posing as
a PRODUCT that never really existed.

[–] thomas196x2000 7 years ago

Perfect. Here we go. The guy that whines about how others are "defensive" starts with the name calling. It's always that way.

Listen, we're all sorry that YOUR family was obviously dysfunctional. What was it, was your dad a useless alcoholic? Broken home due to infidelity? Drugs?

Who knows. Maybe you're the dick in the family that made the whole thing miserable, and you reaped what you sowed. That's fine.

If spouting off that no one ever lived the way that you could only dream of living makes you feel better about what you missed out on, don't let me stand in the way of what works for you.

[–] gbennett5 7 years ago

Cute. ANOTHER moron. I have already stated that I have loved this show for
decades, but I know enough about the history of this highly dysfunctional family
(Rick's dysfunction alone provided for at least one terrific, if depressing,
biography).

Here's another shocker for you, bud: "Lucy and Ricky" were nothing like Lucy
and Desi.

I'm sure YOUR family was all peaches and cream. Dad and Mom, a dog, a cat,
and a picket fence. And they were sooooo happy when YOU were born - ten fingers,
and ten toes. Too bad seven of your toes are on one foot!

[–] InherentlyYours 7 years ago

The poster seems unbalanced. (came from a well-adjusted background, yet ranting with accusations like he's mentally-ill)

[–] thomas196x2000 7 years ago

Navaros--you know what's fun and entertaining here is that these two posters walked right in, stood up and spouted off EXACTLY what I was talking about. As you said, the revisionist history game.

As I said in my other response, there is a knee-jerk defensiveness (and note that I am being called out as "defensive" and "angry", how precious!) to the real facts. The facts are there has been moral decay and a real indifference in family values for decades now.

The fact that we CAN have a society that I grew up in flies in the face of how many people want to define normal, if for no other reason than to feel better about what they have--the best way to do that is to blot out the idea that they could have had something better.

You are absolutely right in what you stated earlier about norms. It is quite normal now to have a broken home, divorce, and split custody. That's the expectation now? You mean it is normal the idea that your marriage won't last, that kids will have unstable home lives, confusion, and sadness?

I think people miss out on the nuances here, the fact that normal and typical are used interchangeably does not erase the subtle difference. They'll tell you it is all the same, and all that matters is the fact that there is moral relativity. Of course, when their set of moral values doesn't beget happiness, then it follows that there has never been happiness. That's just not ignorance, that's what is called delusion.

[–] liscarkat (16530) 4 years ago

Thomas196 is right. The claims that the 1950s were some kind of suburban nightmare, or were as bland as Wonder Bread, are both exaggerations. The average, everyday life of a middle-class family shown on "Ozzie and Harriet" is cleaned up somewhat, but not completely unrealistic. I was a kid in the 1950s and early 1960s, and this is pretty much what it looked like and sounded like (with some occasional light cussing thrown in). There wasn't any more seething misery behind white picket fences than there is today, and it also wasn't just a beige existence. "Ozzie and Harriet", and the equally unfairly maligned Andy Hardy movie series of a decade earlier, probably reflect family life more realistically than the present-day tortured teenage outcast movies that have become such a cliche.