I used to watch the reruns on KTLA 5 in Los Angeles back in the early 70's.
In one of my favorite episodes the following dialogue ensued:
GROUCHO: So what do you do for a living ?
CONTESTANT: I am a Lifeguard in Las Vegas.
GROUCHO: Oh, you rescue people from the Crap Tables ?
Thank you Groucho for the memories
Cheval 52
I don't remember the exact numbers,but it went someyhing like this--
GROUCHO: How many kids do you have?
CONTESTANT: I have 17, Groucho.
GROUCHO: I like my cigar,too, but I take it out once in a while.
LMAO Those are priceless, you guys. Thank you. Here's one of my favorites:
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like banana."
That was one hell of a funny man. Not the nicest guy to his family, I understand, but funny, funny, funny. He's right up there with Richard Pryor, in terms of being able to come up with a joke spontaneously, and having it be so funny that you fall to your knees with tears of great laughter in your eyes.
"Careful, man! There's a beverage, here."
"Are you single or married, in other words; are you looking or cooking"? There are many instances where Groucho wasn’t particularly PC. It’s probably more a reflection of the times than that of a wayward individual.
"...19 children"? He cleverly includes the amount of monkeys in with the man’s thirteen children. It went straight over the audience.
And I loved random stuff like: "You’re a lovely couple and if you don’t get married immediately, you’re making a big mistake". The timing and delivery of this line to the girl who made Fetterman blush and her co-contestant was completely out of the blue and marvellous.
"I don’t do anything... but I do it brilliantly". That’s quintessential Groucho.
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
But who wants to live in an institution.
Paddle faster! I hear banjo music.