100 things I learned from Mighty Joe Young
1. If you run a farm in Africa, and you teach your little daughter Swahili, you should also teach your housekeeper English if she doesn't already know it.
2. African natives carry baby animals around.
3. If you live in Africa, carry your gun inside the house--you never know what might be hiding under your blanket.
4. Although Great Britain had possessions in Africa for many years, and therefore
British English prevails on the continent, Jill and her father speak with an American accent.
5. When you make plans for an expedition in Africa, arrange with the local government for a site--you're less likely to invade private property that way.
6. Watching lions through a thick glass window has disadvantages. Bar patrons can see the animals defecate, and attack prey (lions, like most predators, will not eat animals they did not kill).
7. What were those bands made of--the ones Primo Carnera snapped when he flexed his biceps?
8. If a drunk spoils an act by throwing a whiskey bottle at the performer, don't let him stay. Throw the bum out and go on with the act.
9. And considering what ensued, don't let the drunk off scot-free.
10. When you're carrying valuable cargo such as a gorilla in a van, *latch* the rear doors, don't simply close them! A tramp might decide to get a free ride.