5 GRAVES TO CAIRO...HUH???!!

I watched the whole thing last night, and it's OK but nothing to get too worked up over. The main problem I had was with Franchot Tone. When he was being himself and not the spy/waiter, he was just stupid and obnoxious. If I was that French woman, I would've fed him to the Germans on a platter. I'm glad Tom Neal beat the crap out of this guy in real life.

Stick to films like "Porky's", or "Dude, Where's My Car?". Such films will require less of you than Casablanca or Stalag 17.

"She was a long, tall, authentic blonde. I loved her as much as I loved my .45..."

I think the story was fine, the acting was okay, the directing was mediocre but I think it was the editing and story cohesion that actually sucked.

Many things annoyed me like how loudly Bramble, Mouche and or Farid would talk while in their room as though there was no one around to be concerned about - only crawling with Nazis who would execute you in a New York Minute if they overheard what you said. Another was the ridiculous demeanor of Rommel partying and sharing information with prisoners as well as having intimate conversations about his strategies with (someone he thought was) a spy. No one in their right mind tells a spy anything because they could be caught behind enemy lines the next day and talk. It wasn't a bad film but it certainly wasn't one Wilder would have listed first on his resume.

How could you have watched nearly half this movie and ask "what the hell is it all about?" It sounds like you weren't paying attention very well, since the plot is pretty simple. Seems rather unfair to only watch half a movie and then pan it.

Did you ever go back and finish watching it?

Stalag 17 - Well, I just can't imagine how anyone can fail to see the brilliance there?
Weird innit.