If you like this movie, don't read. But I need to vent - wasted 2 hrs.

Your take on the movie may have some valid points about the character depictions in the movie. Why didn't Robert Young's character just say "to hell with my family and responsibilities, and I will forsake it all for the love of my life"? That is an ideal decision for anyone in life. It is not all that simple. Believe me. There are many people in the world who never married the person who they considered to be their "soul mate". There are many circumstances in life that throw roadblocks that prevent it. In your case, you may not have any hindrances on doing so. The movie was stressing that point. Yes, the two lovers could have just chucked all of their past and just eloped. That does happen. But the message in the movie is that sometimes your idea of everything falling into place for your future does not always pan out. The two lovers still had a deep close bond despite going their different ways. They knew that they had to continue with the direction in life that they took 20 years ago. In fact, I know of a true story of high school sweethearts who broke up due to circumstances and then they married other spouses and went their separate way and when both became widowed, they reunited in their older age and got married.

Harry's wife (Ruth Hussey) at the end of the movie realized her husband's doubts about their way of life and marriage, so that is why she went to his office to go with him on a personal trip with him. She also realized that he still had a close bond with his former lover. I guess your reaction to that would have been "get out of my house you cheater and we will get a divorce immediately". She still had feelings for him so she was willing to work on their relationship. As for him having no backbone, it was well past the point of rejecting his current life since that decision was made 20 years ago. Yes, ideally he should have just jumped ship and married Hedy Lamarr's character. But that would have been wrong given that he made his choice 20 years ago.

This movie will be on TCM on Sept 17, 2012 in the evening (USA). I've seen it before. It's very interesting to me that I have almost an entirely different take on the movie. But I'm 64 and have had at least six 'love of my life' relationships (well probably a few more, wink).
So here's my take.

First of all there's no such thing as a SINGLE love of your life. There's a FIRST love of your life, and that usually has a special place in your heart. After all, life is 'new' to you, it's all in front of you and everything is glorious, the possibilities for ... what? let's say 'a fantasy life that never ends' (like the fairy tales)... are certainties. So you don't forget that love.

But then, at the age of 19 or 25 or 35 or sometimes 45 (in Robert Young's case) YOU GROW UP. You accept the realities about life... responsibilities are more important than the headiness of 'love love love'. If you really look at this movie, he did the best thing for a lot of people when he left his 'first' love.
The reality is that Hedy would not join him in that mature response to life. SHE is the one who could have had a good life in, where was it?, Philly? but she would leave NYC. A CHOICE folks a choice.

So he moved on with his life and married Kay before he had reconciled in his mind that Hedy was only his FIRST love, and that 'good ol Kay' was the woman he could make a good life with. And so he did.

I would hardly characterize Robert Young's character as a 'joyless, lifeless, wimp' unless of course you still classify your own parents that way, :). He was a MAN ... leading a good life and although far removed from the heady dreams of the very young, he had something FAR more satisfying... a functioning member of society, growing children, loving wife... maybe the sexual side of things needed a little 'lift', but that is easily rectified as is shown at the end of the movie. After all, KAY is in basically the same situation, what makes you think HE was the only love of HER life? She did what people do... they both did. They 'settled'... you know I used to think (in my early 20s) that 'settling' for someone or a situation was 'bad'. But it isn't. It doesn't mean you 'lower your standards'; it means you 'lower your EXPECTATIONS to realistic levels and you 'set aside' your fantasies about what life will be.

Life is what it is. This is a grubby backbiting world... particularly online. I am very anti-our-current-president (USA) and man oh man! do I get flamed! But only very young people 'should' imagine I CARE what their opinions are. Oh well. This character was more of a man when he was in his 40s then he EVER was when he was 'in love' with Hedy. I found him far more exciting. As for Hedy... they may still have some kind of emotional response to each other, but nothing 'real'. What's REAL is KAY. They were just in a 'dry spell'... everything goes in cycles, after all, even emotional responses to life.

Sure people run into their high school sweethearts after 50 years of living and sometimes end up married. Oh my isn't that romantic! But really it is nostalgia, nothing more. There is a lifetime of growing, maturing, accepting and enjoying life as is between high school and that so called 'second chance at love'. They end up together because at 60-80 it is still better to be with someone than alone. Is it love? yeah, it's kinda/sorta 'love'... not 'lost love' but 'LAST love' if you will.

But when they die and go to heaven (if it exists) and they have a choice, who do they end up with there? It's anyone's guess.
So I liked the movie but I didn't think Hedy was the love of his life and that he was stodgy. I thought he was a mature adult and KAY was the (current) love of his life, and Hedy was part of his past, that's all.

Life is a journey not a destination. Fear nothing.

The bottom line to this whole thing is that she didn't want to live in Boston and he didn't want to live in New York(personally, I wouldn't care to live in either!). Now if they could have only found a way around that and perhaps settled for living in a neutral locale, they might have found true happiness.

I agree with you on the plot and characters. However it was a very well made movie. Beautifully filmed and directed, with lots of attention to detail. It's a shame the story was almost non-existent and pointless. The "happy ending" seemed odd and no one seemed to learn anything or be 'real' people at all. I too don't understand Hedy's devotion to such a wimpy/vague character! Best performance Hedy ever gave in my opinion.

I have to pretty much agree -- the story was totally banal - for one thing, Boston to New York isn't so far that two people in love can't have separate homes and see each other often enough to be happy.. in fact, IF Hedy wanted to stay in Europe, and me in the U.S., I STILL WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER! she was the most beautiful woman in the world, just to have known her as a friend would be reward enough..

as for Rob't Young, the studio cast Hedy b/c Young "wasn't very exciting", to say the least - that said, he fit this bland part of a bland person - spineless to say the least, also stiff, boring, uninspiring, and rather than "one in" a million, one OF a million others..

Hedy said this was her favorite performance - she's likely correct, it was her career and I've never seen her better - a woman of this beauty deserved much better, didn't she? I would have DIED for her, much less given up my home, career, parents, friends, ego, mansion - whatever it took!

as for Kay - a mannequin, and obviously cast as a "poor man's Myrna Loy", who was someone any man would have loved to come home to- that would have made this more believable..

I'd give this 2 out of 4 stars, or about 6 on a 10 scale, just b/c of Hedy --- 6/10

My only regret in life is that I am not someone else - Woody Allen