This poem's quite a bit longer, but just as good. If I am going to post poems, how can I leave good old Ed out?
The Raven
By: Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'
But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Poor Some Like It Hot... No one likes it enough to post about it. Maybe because it was released so long ago. Below is a list of things that occured in 1939, when this movie came out:
1. Gone With the Wind won an Oscar
2. The Wizard of Oz was released
3. Lou Gehrig became ill and was forced to retire
4. The New York Worlds Fair opened
5. Albert Einstein alerted President Roosevelt to the possiblity of an atomic bomb
6. US declared neutrality in the European war which would soon develop into WW2
7. The first jet aircraft took to the sky
8. Vitamin K is isolated by Edward Doisy
9. The first nylon stockings are produced
10. The FM radio was invented
11. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck is published
11. Al Capone is released from Alcatraz
12. Hitler barely escapes an assassination attempt in Munich
13. Batman is created
14. The Holocaust rages in Europe: All remaining Jewish businesses are closed
15. The second cartoon of Happy Rabbit appears; Happy will later be renamed Bugs Bunny
16. The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings wins the Pulitzer Prize for fiction
17. Daughters of the American Revolution refuses to allow Marian Anderson to perform at Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Greetings devoted Some Like It Hot fans,
I know that you are a HUGE group scattered all over the country. Why, I pass someone wearing a Some Like It Hot fan T-shirt every single day. However, it appears that you are a shy group, as it is only me posting on these fan boards. I beg of you, please, speak up. Share with me your deepest, innermost feelings about this spectacular movie. Don't be shy. I am desperate for intellectual stimulation reguarding this film. Whatever I may have said in my original post, I did not intend to scare you away. I am ready to cast off my unsocial, lonely early days of posting poems, lists, and 80's pop songs. Now I wish to speak to you dear fans, and learn of your opinions concerning everyone's favorite movie, that enduring classic Some Like It Hot.
Sincere Best Wishes From Your Ever-Humble Dictator,
MarylandCrab
P.S. If this film ever by chance comes on TCM and someone watches it, I will be royally screwed. Everyone who runs on here to post will think I am a total nutcase. However, I can't seem to stop. I am addicted to the empty Some Like It Hot Boards. I think I need rehab.
Official President of the Some Like It Hot Fan Club
Official Dictator of the Some Like It Hot Boards
Yes, fan clubs are democratic. Boards are communist.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Dearest deeply-dedicated Some Like It Hot fans,
Several days ago, I took it upon myself to write you a letter, imploring you to contribute to these boards devoted to every American's favorite film, Some Like It Hot. When I returned to this board today, eager to devor the replies I was so sure fellow fans would post, I was utterly dismayed at the complete lack of response to my earnest request. I have already commented upon the timidness of the average Some Like It Hot fan, and begged you not to allow this singular trait to prevent or hinder you in any way from commenting on this gem of a film. I am sure we can all agree on the perfection of this movie's intense dramatic sequences, passionate romantic scenes which so perfectly accent the following car chase, accurate depictions of historical figures, and overwhelming CGI effects. No breathing human can deny the sheer power of Will Smith's performance as the late Richard Nixon or Danny Devito's brillant role as a talking bottle of Bud Light. Sure, this movie may be as close to perfection as humanly possible, overshadowing other trivial works such as Casablanca, The Godfather, or even Taxi Driver. True, who needs the bland, dull script of Citizen Kane when you can have the words of Some Like It Hot? No one will ever forget Drew Barrymore's immortal words to Morgan Freeman: "Why eat raw shrimp when you can have a peanut?" However, this perfection should not intimidate fans to the point where they cannot even stand to discuss this rare masterpiece. I come to you once again fellow fans, and beg you not to allow this board to remain so tragically empty. Like a fallow plot of soil waiting to be rejuvinated and cultivated, the Some Like It Hot boards have layed silent and unchanging for to long. Now is our time. Here is our place. These boards shall now grow rich, yummy crops like squash, zucchini, and other vegetables with unspellable names because I have planted the seeds of the future. You, my dear Some Like It Hot fans, will be the farmers of this bright new tomorrow. Harvest away, my friends. Harvest away...
Deepest Regards From Your Ever-Humble Dictator,
MarylandCrab
Official President of the Some Like It Hot Fan Club
Official Dictator of the Some Like It Hot Boards
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
SOMEONE NAMED ARM61 POSTED ON THIS BOARD!
ALL HAIL ARM61! HE/SHE HAS BROKEN THE CURSE OF THE EMPTY SOME LIKE IT HOT BOARD!
I think I just fainted...
Apparently, arm is a music fan!
Welcome to the board, arm.
Will arm return to post another day?
Will others follow in his/her wake?
What will become of my beloved boards?
The dramatic suspense is killing me...
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
At first I assumed that arm didn't read any of my posts, because he/she didn't post here. Now, looking back at my old posts, I realize that arm might have read them, but was just too creeped out to reply to me. He/she thought it would be safer to let me sit in the corner and talk to myself! If that is what happened, how can you blame arm? I am so random and pointless on this thread. I need random-post rehab.
Did arm read my random posts or not?
Ahh.. the plot thickens.
There are so many other things to contemplate on this board of course...
like....
Well, okay, so far this is the only question to think about on these boards.
Gosh, this place is hopping. I can't keep up sometimes.
Picture yourself on a boat on a river, with tangerine dreams and marshmellow skys... Somebody calls you... You answer quite slowly... the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.. Lucy in the sky with Diamonds!
I the Beatles!
Well, I should get back to civilized, inhabited life now. It is lonely in the jungle out here with only one other poster for company.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Okay, I am a liar. I'm not quite ready to pack up and leave the wilderness of randomness yet tonight. So, here are some jokes involving Sherlock Holmes:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up. He put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: "Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"
Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he knew him by sight. The driver said: "No Sir, I have never seen you before." The puzzled Doyle asked him what made him think that he was Conan Doyle.
The driver replied: "This morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi-stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
Doyle said: "This is truly amazing. You are a real-life counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes."
"There is one other thing," the driver said.
"What is that?"
"Your name is on the front of your suitcase."
I got this cheesy one off a site devoted to (of all things) bad puns. Read it and weep.
Shelock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business one day, when the uncovered an amazing painting.
At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if you looked closer, you could see that it was a very surreal painting: The tree's trunk was actually made of fire, and it's branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.
"What is it?" asked Watson in awe.
"It's an element tree, my dear Watson," said Holmes.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen! May I present to you the famous tent joke!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
What was the point of all that you ask? I have no clue!
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ArmandFancypants
17 years ago
Good Lord!
__
"Tahiti is not in Europe! I'm going to be sick!"
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
HAHAHA! Someone has stumbled upon my board of random, meaningless posts! I haven't been on here recently; I actually have a life outside of the internet (though you wouldn't think it by looking at these posts). I am too tired to post anything properly random and disturbing tonight, though.
As Hannibal Lecter says, "Ta, ta- H"
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ArmandFancypants
17 years ago
This is easily the greatest thing in the history of IMDB.
__
"Tahiti is not in Europe! I'm going to be sick!"
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Dear Avid Fans of Some Like It Hot,
As I am sure you have noticed during your daily perusal of the most popular board on all of IMDB, I have recently been absent from these beloved pages. I left with the firm belief that when I returned I would be greeted with healthy, thriving discussions of everyone's favorite movie. Alas, the fans of Some Like It Hot continue to remain silent on these boards. I know that you, dear fans, are on this board nearly 24/7 (For who could resist the seductive call of the finest boards known to man?), but you appear to be painfully afflicted by a crippling shyness. Please feel free to speak your minds like these outstanding citizens who came before you:
Arm61
Maddocks4
Follow their example by participating in making our boards a more interesting place.
Waiting Eagerly To Hear From You,
MarylandCrab
The Offical But Still Ever-Humble:
President of the Some Like It Hot Fan Club
Dictator of the Some Like It Hot Boards
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Sarcasm
Definitions
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark
Examples
The Some Like It Hot Boards are the most popular on IMDB.
-----------------------------------------------------
Delusion
Definition
1. a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact
Examples
The Some Like It Hot Boards are filled with people too shy to post on them.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Random Fact Time!
Have You Ever Wondered Why It Is Called An "Ipod"?
Here's your answer:
The name iPod was proposed by Vinnie Chieco, a freelance copywriter, who (with others) was called by Apple to figure out how to introduce the new player to the public. After Chieco saw a prototype, he thought of the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey and the phrase "Open the pod bay door, Hal!", which refers to the white EVA Pods of the Discovery One spaceship. Apple had previously registered the name "iPod" for Internet kiosks, but never put it to use.
Source: Wikipedia
(Because we only use the most-accurate, reliable sources available! )
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
I'm sure many concerned parents out there are familiar with the site www.kids-in-mind.com, which provides adults information on the content of movies so they can judge beforehand whether or not to bring little Billy to the cinema with them. For each film, the site gives a brief description of the movie, the message of the movie, and information under three topics: sex, profanity, and violence.
I support parents' right to decide what is appropriate for their four-year-old to watch. No parent should tramatize a child by letting him watch The Godfather before he is psychologically prepared for it.
But sometimes these kids-in-mind people crack me up. The following is an blow-by-blow excerpt from the Hannibal page which makes that film sound like a non-stop bloodbath. Reading this, I can't believe they had a time left over in the movie to add plot or dialouge...
VIOLENCE/GORE- 10 (the highest possible gore score)
1. A person cuts off the top of another's skull (we see several shots of the bloody brain), cuts a piece of the brain out and fries it, then makes the person eat the piece of brain.
2. A person rips out what seems to be the liver or stomach of another; we see blood coming out of the person's gut and then watch the person die in pain.
3. A person grabs another by the head and begins eating the person's face; we see blood dripping out of the cannibal's mouth.
4. A person rips apart another and eats some of the body; we hear the victim's pained cries and the perpetrator's chewing and slurping noises.
5. A person slices another's throat; we see blood gush out, and then the person dies in a pool of blood.
6. Screaming and wailing sounds prompt trained-to-kill boars to attack a human dummy; later they attack and eat a person (we see lots of blood while they're eating and pulling skin off the person's face).
7. In another scene, a person is tossed off a loft, falls hard on the ground, and is then eaten to death by the boars.
8. Someone's guts are chopped out; we see the guts hanging from the body and then falling to the ground (they are very bloody).
9. A person is hanged (the body dangles from a balcony)
10. A person is crushed between two cars and then shot to death (blood gushes out of the person's mouth);
11. A person is shot in the chest several times;
12. A person holding a baby is shot in the chest and killed, resulting in spurting blood (the baby is unharmed);
13. A person is shot in the back with a tranquilizer and punched in the face a few times.
14. Someone is run over by a car (blood splatters on the windshield), and another person is nearly run over.
15. A person slams a cleaver down and appears to chop off another's hand (we see the person's pained expression); we soon realize, however, that the person's hand hasn't been cut.
16. A person grabs another, briefly smothers him, tapes his mouth shut and then ties him up.
17. A person's hair is pinned in a refrigerator door, and then the person is threatened.
18. Some threatening with guns; several shots are fired. We see blood dripping down someone's face.
19. Also, a person cuts open his face with a piece of glass (blood drips down his face).
20. We see relief carvings of a man being hanged (we see his cut-open stomach with the bowels hanging out).
21. Several times we see a person with a scarred, disfigured face.
22. We see several photos of bloody body parts and bloody corpses (which have been physically marred, bruised, beaten, eaten, etc.).
23. We see a close-up of a needle piercing a person's skin.
24. A man feeds fried brains (presumably human brains) to a young boy.
Woah. Who takes the time to write all that down? But the kids-in-mind people weren't done yet. I know you thought that a man feeding fried brains to a boy was as bad as it gets, but the worst was yet to come. This is the last thing on the list of VIOLENCE/GORE:
25. A man picks up a dead pigeon.
After all the other violence listed, they had to put THAT!?!?! If I'm all right with my child seeing someone eat human brain, why would I care about a DEAD PIGEON. I'm not going to say, "Oh, honey, I'd let you watch
Hannibal, but it's got a dead pigeon in it. And a man
picks it up, for heaven's sakes. You'll have to wait until you're older." Those kids-in-mind people are a little overzealous.
But one of them apparently appreciates puns and dark humor. According to them, this is the message of
Hannibal:
Cannibals are people too, and a good brain is a terrible thing to waste.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
What's that you're saying to me? The topic above this? What about it? You say that it was essentially about Hannibal and therefore, should be on the Hannibal Board?
I think you have forgotten something here.
I am this board's Dictator.
This is my Board.
I will post whatever I wish to.
Now leave me alone before I unleash my weapons of mass destruction. I have legions of these little jumping dudes, and I'm not afraid to use them.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
This riddleless page needs to be riddlefied! So here are some riddles:
Riddle
What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
Answer
A chalkboard
Riddle
There are two doors; one which leads to Heaven and one which leads to Hell. A guard stands watch over each door. One of the guards tells nothing but lies, and the other only tells the truth, but you don't know which is which. How do you get to Heaven?
Answer
You ask, "Which door will the other guard say is the door to Heaven?" and then open the door which they don't name.
Riddle
A Man walked up to his house and he heard his wife scream, "John, don't do it!" and the man ran inside and saw his wife, dead on the floor. Around her were three strangers: a Baker, a Milkman, and a Doctor. The man goes up to the Milkman and says, "You did it!" How did the man know he did it?
Answer
The baker and the doctor were both women, so neither would be named John.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Does anyone know who penned these words?
Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.
But he grew old-
This knight so bold-
And o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.
And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow-
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be-
This land of Eldorado?"
"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied-
"If you seek for Eldorado!"
If you guessed Mr. Poe, you were right! This is his poem "Eldorado."
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Disclaimer: I, MarylandCrab, am not guilty of any of these things. I just randomly decided to make this list one day. Many of the things on this list are from various Harry Potter boards, so I didn't make them all up myself.
You know you're obsessed with Harry Potter and his world when...
100. You own all of the Harry Potter books/ books-on-tape.
99. You own all of the Harry Potter DVDs.
98. You own all of the Harry Potter soundtracks.
97. You've read all the books more than once. (More than once... twenty-times... same thing )
96. You spend half your time on the IMDB Harry Potter boards.
95.Your IMDB name/email address/nickname is based off a Harry Potter character.
94. You make an IMDB post that says, "You know you're obsessed with Harry Potter when..."
93. Your IMDB signature is a Harry Potter quote.
92. You buy Harry Potter merchandise.
91. You make your own Potter merchandise.
90. You quote the books/movies at inappropriate times/ whenever humanly possible.
89. You've acted out a scene from the books.
88. You convert Harry Potter haters into fans.
87. You cried while reading Deathly Hallows.
86. You play Harry Potter Scene It?
85. You've memorized sections of the movies/books.
84. You do school reports on Harry Potter.
83. You own Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them or Quidditch Through the Ages.
82. You visit Mugglenet or other Harry Potter sites.
81. You listen to Harry Potter podcasts.
80. You watch a TV show that you normally hate, just because they have a Harry Potter-special on.
79. You give non-readers loooooong Harry Potter lectures when they didn't understand a part in the movies.
78. You screamed when you opened Deathly Hallows because it was dedicated to YOU.
77. You automatically categorize people into Hogwarts Houses
76. The Harry Potter coloring book is #1 on your Christmas list.
75. You've been to a midnight- A.) movie-showing or B.) book-release
74. You use British slang even though you're not British. ("Bloody hell, you prat! You told my Mum I was snogging Lavender? Are you mental?")
73. You have a stuffed Hedwig figure sitting in an owl cage, complete with fake owl treats and a water bottle.
72. You have dreams about Harry Potter.
71. You're counting down the days until the next movie installment.
70. You scream, "That's Sirius!" whenever you see Gary Oldman, even when he's playing Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK.
69. You write long fan letters to J.K.R. asking her about obscure details like “How many cars does the Hogwarts Express have?”
68. You refer to J.K. Rowling as "Jo."
67. You know what the K in J.K. Rowling stands for and why.
66. You start laughing to yourself at random moments because you remember something funny from the movies or books.
65. You ask people what part they're at when you see strangers reading the books in public.
64. You don't know the color of your walls because they are plastered with Harry Potter posters.
63. You are frequently asked, "How do you know that about Harry Potter?" to which you reply, "I read it in Hogwarts a History."
62. You refer to emails as "Owl Posts."
61. You’re allergic to dogs but you want one just so you can name it Padfoot.
60. You call Voldemort by a pet name, such as Voldy or V-dog, because you love him.
59. You only refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who," because you fear him.
58. You have a favorite director of the Harry Potter movies.
57. You have ever been in a Harris vs. Gambon debate.
56. You are a Harry Potter character EVERY Halloween.
55. You wonder if Ovid's Metamorphoses is required reading in McGonagall's Transfiguration class.
54. You dream about the opening of the new Harry Potter park at Universal.
53. You run a Harry Potter fan site.
52. You host a Harry Potter podcast.
51. You know what Potter Puppet Pals are. (Sing with me! Snape, Snape, Severus Snape!)
50. You're a member of S.P.E.R.M.
49. You know what "Harmony" is.
48. You go to Harry Potter conferences.
47. You held a memorial service for a deceased Harry Potter character(s).
46. You are convinced that you ARE the #1 fan. (Don't argue with me! I KNOW I am! )
45. You join a Harry Potter role-playing group.
44. You wash your hands before you handle your Harry Potter books, because they are sacred and you don't want to get them dirty.
43. You hid the 7th book under your bed until you were done with it because you were afraid that someone would try to steal it.
42. You saved your receipt from buying Deathly Hallows and framed it.
41. You didn't get any sleep the whole month of July, because you kept waking up and thinking it was finally the 21st.
40. You cried when you were 11 because you didn't get a certain special letter.
39. You tearfully exclaim, "This is the proudest moment of my life!" when you watch Emma, Dan, and Rupert get their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
38. You have A.) a death-eater tattoo on your arm or B.) a lightening bolt tattoo on your forehead.
37. You know the entire Black family tree
36. You kiss your Harry Potter books goodnight.
35. You own the books in a language that you can't speak.
34. You throw an old coat over your head and are convinced you are invisible.
33. You've played Quidditch.
32. You refer to your chemistry class as "potions."
31. You accidentally call your lover Snape in the bedroom.
30. You yell, "Avada Kedavra!" at your enemies.
29. You yell, "Merlin's pants!" when surprised or angry.
28. You call people "filthy Mudblood" to insult them. (Gasp! How dare you!)
27. You hear about a bridge collapse and worry that Voldemort was behind it.
26. You stopped cleaning your room, convinced your house-elf would do it. (So, that’s why your room smells like cheese…)
25. You steal hairs from friends to make Polyjuice Potion.
24. You find yourself tapping the wall outside the back of your local pub in the hopes you'll find Diagon Alley.
23. You think the world's tallest man is simply "half-giant."
22. You look for the 'Daily Prophet' at every news-stand.
21. You are trying to make a Horcrux so you can be immortal.
20. You shout, "Wingardium Leviso!" when the wind blows things and pretend it was you, not the wind.
19. You yell "Accio" at objects when you're feeling lazy. (It will work one of these days. )
18. You've tried to mix potions with the ingredients mentioned in the book.
17. You've poured over maps of Great Britain looking for a likely location for Hogwarts.
16. You enter every London public phone box you see and dial 62442.
15. You won't swim in any pools because you are afraid of grindylows.
14. You walk all over London looking for Grimmauld Place.
13. Your friends are no longer your friends, because they haven't read the Harry Potter books yet.
12. You are scared by green traffic lights at night. (Those things look just like the Avada Kedavra curse. )
11. Your friends threaten to send you to "Harry Potter rehab," which doesn’t exist, but the idea still scares you anyway.
10. You become hysterical at the word "Fred."
9. You vandalize public buildings by spray painting, "Dumbledore's Army- Still Recruiting," on them.
8. You scream "Expecto Patronum!" whenever you feel cold because you fear Dementors.
7. You make an Unbreakable Vow instead of pinky-swearing.
6. You… well , one word- fanfiction.
5. You arrive at King's Cross and start shrieking "It's the same every year! Packed with Muggles of course!" while leaning on all the barriers to see if you can get through.
4. You are convinced that J.K. Rowling is secretly a witch, and that the books she writes are PURE fact.
3. You give your kids names that they'll be suicidal over. (Severus Albus, anyone?)
2. You've requested that when you die, the whole book series to be buried in your casket with you.
1. You can't read this post because you died of a heart attack when FINALLY handed the 7th book.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Lewis Carroll asked this now-famous question in Alice in Wonderland:
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Can anyone tell me the answer? Anyone? <crickets chirp in the background>
WHY IS THIS BOARD SO EMPTY? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?
WILL I BE ALL ALONE FOREVER?
I can't STAND an empty board. It must be filled! I shall labor on and fill the empty Some Like It Hot Boards for the good of all mankind! Life shall grow and prosper here as long as I am around!
So here is the answer to the "unanswerable" riddle:
Poe wrote on both.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
I figured out how to do this today, so of course, I rushed here to post some pictures on my beloved Some Like It Hot Boards!
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
(0)_(0)
(-----)
_ /_____\ _
/ \/ | | \/ \
|_\__|___|__/_|
/|\ /|\ /|\ /|\
o o oo o o o oo o o
__
[ ] |::| __
3 ._. |::||::| ._.
/| |:| ._. |::||::| |/|
\|// / |:|_|/| |::||::|_ |/|
-( )-| |:|"|/|_|::||::|\|_|/| _
J V | |:|"|/|||::||::|\|||/||:|
___ ' / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\ \/ | ~~~ ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
__ __
/ \~~~/ \
,----( .. )
/ \__ __/
/| (\ |(
^ \ /___\ /\ |
|__| |__|-"
.----. @ @
/ .-"-.`. \v/
| | '\ \ \_/ )
,-\ `-.' /.' /
'---`----'----'
/ \
\
/ /
\
\ \
_____________ _
|=============|/ \
| | /
|_____________|_/
\ /
\_________/
_ / /|
|\\ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .-=='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
'-==.\}/
/| |\
`__\\ //__'
|| ||
\__`\ |'__/
`_\\ //_'
_.,:---;,._
\_: :_/
|@. .@|
| |
,\.-./ \
;;`-' `---__________-----.-.
;;; \_\
';;; |
; | ;
\ \ \ | /
\_, \ / \ |\
|';| |,,,,,,,,/ \ \ \_
| | | \ / |
\ \ | | / \ |
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|_||_| |_| |_|
/_//_/ /_/ /_/
(__)
(@@)_____
(oo) /|\
| |--/ | *
w w w w
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
You will find that I love random quotes almost as much as I love random lists, so I thought I'd put some here to liven up the very dead Some Like It Hot boards. Oh! Look at the pretty colors!
"It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself." -Thomas Jefferson
"TV has brought murder back into the home where it belongs." - Alfred Hitchcock
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". --Gandhi
"Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the
more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -Benjamin Franklin
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." -Abraham Lincoln
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"Those who dance are thought mad by those who do not hear the music."
-Anon.
"A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on, and a psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on."
-William S. Burroughs
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
Dear Some Like It Hot Fanatics,
My fellow fans, I regret to inform you of some absolutely, tramatizingly mind-blowing, scarring, horrific facts have come to my attention in the past few days. These facts are so terrible that I am forced to break them down into a list to comfort myself. They are as follows:
Fact #1- Netflix, the company well-known for distributing DVD's through the mail, has no (Nada, Nilch, Zip) copies of our beloved movie under the title of either Some Like It Hot or Rhythm and Romance.
Fact #2- Only 88 (Yes people, my hands didn't fumble on the computer keys and you don't need glasses; that number really is below a hundred.) have rated Some Like It Hot.
Fact #3- Only two people have ever written reviews for this movie. Ever.
Fact #4- These aforementioned reviews weren't so warm towards our favorite movie, my friends. I reprint them here for you, unedited and unabridged.
Slick Bob Hope performance, 6 January 2000
Author: david-340 from Virginia Beach, VA
Not Hope's best, but he makes a good flim-flam artist going straight. The highlight of the film is Gene Krupa and his band playing "Blue Rhythm Fantasy", a number with Krupa soloing while the band beats out tempo on small drums at their music stands. This is Krupa's first film with his first band after leaving the Benny Goodman Orchestra.
Luke Warm At Best 12 March 2007
Author: bkoganbing from Buffalo, New York
Yes, before the great Billy Wilder classic there was this other Some Like It Hot, a minor Bob Hope film done at a time when Hope was still thought of as a B film star. The film had to change title when Wilder's film became an all time comedy classic, I have a VHS copy of it under the title of Rhythm and Romance.
Actually this work has undergone many changes in its life. Someone had some faith in it. It began as a flop Broadway play in 1932 written by the team of Ben Hecht and Gene Fowler. It only ran 11 performances in the winter of 1932 when few people had the price of a Broadway theater ticket.
The property was sold to Paramount which first filmed it in 1934 under the title of Shoot the Works starring Jack Oakie. A very nice song by Harry Revel and Mack Gordon came out of that film called With My Eyes Wide Open, I'm Dreaming that Dean Martin later reprised in The Stooge.
Anyway Paramount did it another version of it five years later this time with Bob Hope and Shirley Ross. I've never seen the Oakie film, but I'm willing to bet that a whole lot of stock footage from that wound up in this one.
Hope is a small time carnival barker who discovers both Shirley Ross and Gene Krupa and his band. He's got a good gift of gab, but that's about all. When the rest see an opportunity to move on, they take it, leaving Hope behind.
Swing music fans will love seeing Gene Krupa and his orchestra doing some of their music. A hit song, not as big as the one from Shoot the Works was written for Hope and Ross called The Lady's In Love With You. They recorded it, but it was far from the success they had with Thanks for the Memory and Two Sleepy People. Burton Lane and Frank Loesser were the songwriters here.
This was the last teaming of Bob Hope and Shirley Ross. Ross seemed to complement Hope's breezy style on screen, but after this her career faded and we all know where his went.
Some Like It Hot under any title was not as good as Hope's debut film The Big Broadcast of 1938 or College Rhythm or his collaboration with Preston Sturges in Never Say Die. Still it does have a few laughs in it supplied by Hope and also wisecracking Una Merkel.
Fans of old scoop nose will like it though.
Fact #5- Is it just me or did david-340 refer to Bob Hope as an old scoop nose? What an atrocious lack of respect...
What is our society coming to?
Wearily pondering the decay of our social environment and the apparent lack of posters on the Some Like It Hot Boards,
MarylandCrab
The Offical But Still Ever-Humble:
President of the Some Like It Hot Fan Club
Dictator of the Some Like It Hot Boards
P.S.
Fact #6 It takes me approximately six hours, thirty-seven minutes, and two seconds to scroll down to the bottom of this page to add new posts. Perhaps I should shorten the length of my posts to make it easier to reach the bottom? Umm.. Nah. Who am I kidding? I live for long off-topic posts.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why is it so quiet here?
All I can hear is the sound of silence!
Ahh.. that reminds me of a song. Lyric time!
This song was written about the assassination of JFK, but it actually describes these boards pretty well, come to think of it...
Creepy...
"The Sound of Silence" - Simon and Garfunkel
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence.
Fools said I,you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whispered in the sounds of silence.
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MarylandCrab
17 years ago
I, MarylandCrab, (The Offical But Still Ever-Humble President of the Some Like It Hot Fan Club and Dictator of the Some Like It Hot Boards) was casually browsing the Hit List this morning. I came across this site on the "10 Best Film Endings" and gave it a click:
http://arts.independent.co.uk/film/features/article3073823.ece
So, I'm scrolling down the page, scanning the titles more than reading the entire article, when I come across the words "Sherlock Holmes." As some of you may have guessed, I am a Holmes fan, so I read a little more carefully and I find this in the section:
6. The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes
(GB 1970, dir. Billy Wilder)
I owe my love of this movie to the novelist Jonathan Coe, who wrote an excellent essay on it for the French film magazine Cahiers du Cinéma. Billy Wilder and IAL Diamond wrote more famous endings (to Some Like It Hot, to The Apartment) but none more moving, I think, than the epilogue to their Holmes pastiche, a film whose charm must be weighed against its unevenness – great tranches of it were inexplicably lost.
I was overwhelmed with joy!
Some Like It Hot, whose boards I had taken over for my own selfish amusement and pleasure, had been MENTIONED by someone as if they might have once WATCHED IT or at least HEARD OF IT.
Then I realized. Billy Wilder and Diamond wrote the 1959 movie starring Miss. Monroe and titled
Some Like It Hot.
I am crushed and scarred for life.....
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MarylandCrab
16 years ago
Today, the IMDB poll mentioned a certain blogger who gave a list of the worst films on the IMDB Top 250. He refers to himself as "Fletch," but IMDB called him "This blogger." I thought that was hysterical...
Anyway, Fletch's petty list didn't really interest me. Some people sounded very offended, but how can you take the list seriously when he hadn't seen one of the films on it and said that the other film simply gave him nightmares as a child? You can see it here: http://blogcabins.blogspot.com/2007/11/11-worst-films-on-imdb-top-250- and.html
What really sparked my interest was Fletch himself. If he bothers to make a blog all about movies, it is assumed that he enjoys films, yes? So why is he "not all that interested" in seeing films made prior to "1963 or so." Fletch says that he is 31, so why did he choose the date 1963? And why doesn't he enjoy older films? Has he even seen Casablanca? And HOW CAN HE NOT LIKE HITCHCOCK? Since the cut-off is 1963, he apparently wouldn't be at all interested in either of the Some Like It Hot's.
So this post is the equivalent of a world-wide web post-it note, reminding me to watch for Fletch's Why Movies Made Prior to Around 1963 Don't Ring My Bell. You've gained another reader, Fletch, for a while anyway...
Welcome to the grave... 12-21-07
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MarylandCrab
16 years ago
Some poor, unfortunate, and totally unprepared soul has stumbled upon my thread of randomness. I apologize for any shock or discomfort you may have suffered at the sight of my posts. I can only say in my defense that I suffer from RPD (random posting disorder), and as of yet, there are no drugs available to cure my affliction. Again, my sincere apologies.
Now for something completely different. EGAD! (I love that word.) This story made me laugh my head off:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/sherlock/lostworld1.shtml
Welcome to the grave... 12-21-07
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poweranimal
16 years ago
Hi Maryland Crab. Though my alias on IMDb is powernanimal, I am the Fletch that wrote that piece. Just happened upon your post here after seeing that someone followed your link to my site.
I wanted to tell you that I haven't forgotten to write that piece that ou gave yourself a post-it note for. It will happen, and I've given myself a note to remind myself to do so. With year-end, there are not only a ton of movies to see, but lists to make and whatnot. But it is coming soon...
Thanks for reading!
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MarylandCrab
16 years ago
http://www.amazon.com/Gene-Krupa-Orchestra-Rhythm-Romance/dp/078323002 8
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm afraid the amazon only has 10 copies of Some Like It Hot aka Rhythm Romance. All of these copies are on VHS tapes, which probably indicates that there isn't even a DVD version. In addition, only ONE person has rated the movie.
The ONE consolation? He/she gave it 5 stars.
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies.. conjure up the treat pies used to be!
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